“Fur Commission USA confirms that one or more attackers illegally entered a mink farm near Woodbine, Iowa, between 9 pm and 8 am last night. The intruder cut through fencing, destroyed animal housing, and released more than 1,000 mink. About half of the animals were recovered within hours by the farmer, his son, and his grandson, who operate the multi-generation family farm. Local law enforcement and the FBI are investigating the attack,” says Fur Commission USA in a statement.

“‘This was not activism – it was terrorism,’ said Challis Hobbs, Executive Director of Fur Commission USA. ‘Breaking into a lawful business, destroying property, and releasing animals to suffer and die is a violent crime. These extremist attacks put families, animals, and rural communities in danger.'”

“Under the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act, any person who interferes with or damages an animal enterprise is considered a terrorist under federal law. Such actions are criminal and carry severe penalties. The release of mink causes immense suffering. Farm-raised mink lack survival skills and quickly die from starvation, exposure, predators, or being struck by vehicles. These actions also devastate farm families who depend on their work for their livelihoods. Fur Commission USA thanks law enforcement for their quick response and will continue to support farmers under threat from these ongoing acts of rural terrorism,” the trade group’s outraged Facebook post continued.

Laying it on a little thick, right? Like sure, a large percentage of the mink who escaped will indeed die in the wild but that’s short of the 100 percent of the high-quality ones who will end up in some pinky-ring wearing Russian scumbag’s wife’s walk-in closet and then the slightly lower-quality ones that will end up in his mistress’s walk-in closet. Mustelids are smart and adaptable, they can figure out how to eat bugs and evade raptors. Maybe the commission should look into press releases about cattle rustling, learn how to focus on the product value instead of this lame virtue signaling.