Some pencilneck bookworm who got a really fancy degree thinks he’s definitively proven that the universe is not a simulation inside the computer of a hyperadvanced civilization – existing completely outside of our context – according to a press release from the University of British Columbia on a new physics paper authored by the brainiac and a few of his dork friends.

“Drawing on mathematical theorems related to incompleteness and indefinability, we demonstrate that a fully consistent and complete description of reality cannot be achieved through computation alone,” said Dr Mir Faizal, Adjunct Professor with UBC Okanagan, who led the study. “It requires non-algorithmic understanding, which by definition is beyond algorithmic computation and therefore cannot be simulated. Hence, this universe cannot be a simulation,” Faizal continued.

Oh well that settles it then. Algorithmic computation limitations button it up real neatly. There’s no possible computing paradigm that could ever exist outside of the constraints of algorithmic process logic, just like no life form could ever subsist on cinnabar or arsenic for its metabolic processes.

Fucking asshole. He could be 100 percent correct about reality as we know it actually existing on a material plane but it sure as shit will not have come down to such insufferably c-word-ish absolutism about the nature of computing. It’s almost like he listened to a Joe Rogan episode about simulation theory and was like “You know what? Rogan’s wrong and I’m going to prove it by sounding like even more of a dick by completely inverting his ‘just asking questions’ assclownery. That’ll show him.”