“The Creeps at the Failing New York Times are at it again. I won the 2024 Presidential Election in a Landslide, winning all Seven Swing States, the Popular Vote, and the Electoral College by a lot. I one our Nation’s Districts by 2750 to 550, a complete wipeout,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, raging over a New York Times report from Tuesday summarizing his failing physical and mental health as he ages and thus pretty much validating it with “one” instead of “won.”

Also it should be “counties” and not “Districts” but could’ve let that slide if not for the “one.”

Continued: “I settled 8 Wars, have 48 New Stock Market Highs, our Economy is Great, and our Country is RESPECTED AGAIN all over the World, respected like never before. The last Administration had the Highest Inflation in history – I have already brought that down to normal, and prices, including groceries, are coming down. To do this requires a lot of Work and Energy, and I have never worked so hard in my life. Yet despite all of this the Radical Left Lunatics in the soon to fold New York Times did a hit piece on me that I am perhaps losing my Energy, despite facts that show the exact opposite. They know this is wrong, as is almost every thing that they write about me, including election results, ALL PURPOSELY NEGATIVE. This cheap ‘RAG’ is truly an ‘ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE.’ The writer of the story, Katie Rogers, who is assigned to write only bad things about me, is a third rate reporter who is ugly, both inside and out,” and stopping right there to point out that he’s calling a woman ugly (ignoring the man she shared the story’s byline with) because he didn’t like that she wrote a story pointing out that, since taking office on January 20th, he’s made 39 percent fewer public appearances than he had by this same point in November 2017.

Vulgarity is said to be a symptom of degraded mental faculties that come with advanced age.

“Despite all of this, I have my highest Poll Numbers, ever, and with record setting investment being made in America, they should only go up. There will be a day when I run low on Energy, it happens to everyone, but with a PERFECT PHYSICAL EXAM AND A COMPREHENSIVE COGNITIVE TEST (‘That was aced’) JUST RECENTLY TAKEN, it certainly is not now! GOD BLESS AMERICA and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” the mentally ill old man, who recently had an MRI to diagnose an unspecified potentially serious health problem but would not disclose what, finally finished ranting.

“There is a new word for a TRUMP REPUBLICAN, which is almost everyone (GREAT POLICY IS THE KEY!). It is, TEPUBLICAN??? Or, TPUBLICAN???” Trump later posted, displaying his mental prowess.