Yeah there’s not really any like bigger political picture or comment on the media or furious editorializing on the state of American society to be found here in this story sourced from a Tuesday Facebook post by the Hanover County, Virginia Animal Protection and Shelter. A raccoon somehow broke into a state-owned liquor store in the town of Ashland late Friday/early Saturday, knocked over a dozen or two bottles of what appears to be gin, vodka, and other various spirits, licked some of it off the floor, got fucked up, and hilariously passed out in the restroom next to the toilet as though he was trying to vomit. The cop who responded took these excellent pics and brought the self-tranquilized animal to the shelter to sleep the libations off while vets examined him. Finding no injuries or disease, they then released him back into the wild at an undisclosed location.

That’s it. No policy or cultural implications. Nothing MAGA or libtarded, Nazi or Marxist about it. No punching up, down, or laterally. MAYBE there’s room for self-reflection that this is fairly close to a literal “man bites dog” story in that, had it been a human doing the exact same thing then it might not be worth a pickup here but this site has ran some pretty banal stories because they were banal. Either way, let’s be real: There’s no need to force any further grating meta-commentary here.

A drunk, passed-out raccoon in a liquor store can and absolutely should be appreciated on its own terms, especially the way the little bastard is splayed out on his furry belly like that, claws all limp.