In an “impromptu” interview granted after Wall Street Journal reporters contacted the White House press office for comment on a story about convicted felon President Trump’s rapidly deteriorating health situation, the demented old asshole began angrily with “Let’s talk about health again for the 25th time. My health is perfect,” and that all the aspirin he takes is why his hands look awful.
“They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart. I want nice, thin blood pouring through my heart. Does that make sense?” said Trump, who should probably ask a doctor that and not a reporter. “They’d rather have me take the smaller” dose of aspirin. “I take the larger one, but I’ve done it for years, and what it does do is it causes bruising.”
“I have makeup that’s, you know, easy to put on, takes about 10 seconds,” Trump told the Journal when asked about the sensitive topic of his sensitive hands. As for regular exercise that isn’t swinging a golf club, Trump says “I just don’t like it. It’s boring. To walk or run on a treadmill for hours and hours like some people do, that’s not for me.” Maybe because the effort might kill him.
Trump also retconned his MRI from a few months ago, now claiming it was a CT scan. “It wasn’t an MRI,” the notorious liar told the paper he’s suing for $15 billion. “It was less than that. It was a scan.”