Categories
Uncategorized

Fuhrer punishes European allies for defending Greenland from his mental instability, says he’s suing JP Morgan Chase in two weeks

Convicted felon President Trump on Saturday posted a 400+ word scream at Western Europe for failing to submit to his unstoppable iron determination to acquire Greenland for his empire:

“We have subsidized Denmark, and all of the Countries of the European Union, and others, for many years by not charging them Tariffs, or any other forms of remuneration. Now, after Centuries, it is time for Denmark to give back – World Peace is at stake! China and Russia want Greenland, and there is not a thing that Denmark can do about it. They currently have two dogsleds as protection, one added recently. Only the United States of America, under PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP, can play in this game, and very successfully, at that! Nobody will touch this sacred piece of Land, especially since the National Security of the United States, and the World at large, is at stake. On top of everything else, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland have journeyed to Greenland, for purposes unknown. This is a very dangerous situation for the Safety, Security, and Survival of our Planet. These Countries, who are playing this very dangerous game, have put a level of risk in play that is not tenable or sustainable.”

“Therefore, it is imperative that, in order to protect Global Peace and Security, strong measures be taken so that this potentially perilous situation end quickly, and without question. Starting on February 1st, 2026, all of the above mentioned Countries (Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland), will be charged a 10 percent Tariff on any and all goods sent to the United States of America. On June 1st, 2026, the Tariff will be increased to 25 percent. This Tariff will be due and payable until such time as a Deal is reached for the Complete and Total purchase of Greenland. The United States has been trying to do this transaction for over 150 years. Many Presidents have tried, and for good reason, but Denmark has always refused. Now, because of The Golden Dome, and Modern Day Weapons Systems, both Offensive and Defensive, the need to ACQUIRE is especially important. Hundreds of Billions of Dollars are currently being spent on Security Programs having to do with ‘The Dome,’ including for the possible protection of Canada, and this very brilliant, but highly complex system can only work at its maximum potential and efficiency, because of angles, metes, and bounds, if this Land is included in it. The United States of America is immediately open to negotiation with Denmark and/or any of these Countries that have put so much at risk, despite all that we have done for them, including maximum protection, over so many decades. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

Wonder where he got “angles, metes, and bounds” from.

The post followed another one with a (likely) emptier threat: “A front page Article in The Fake News Wall Street Journal states, without any verification, that I offered Jamie Dimon, of JPMorgan Chase, the job of Fed Chairman. This statement is totally untrue, there was never such an offer and, in fact, I’ll be suing JPMorgan Chase over the next two weeks for incorrectly and inappropriately DEBANKING me after the January 6th Protest, a protest that turned out to be correct for those doing the protesting — The Election was RIGGED!” and just gotta stop him there as it this might be Trump’s least varnished justification for the Capitol insurrection since January 6th, 2021 itself.

“Why wouldn’t The Wall Street Journal call me to ask whether or not such an offer was made? I would have very quickly told them, ‘NO,’ and that would have been the end of the story. Also, one was led to believe that I offered Jamie Dimon the job of Secretary of the Treasury, but that would be one that he would be very interested in. The problem is, I have Scott Bessent doing a fantastic job, A SUPERSTAR — Why would I give it to Jamie? No such offer was made there, or even thought of, either. The Wall Street Journal ought to do better ‘fact checking,’ or its already strained credibility will continue to DIVE. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” the fat fuck continued.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Ayatollah confirmed dead: Israelis

1 hour ago

Thank you for your attention to this matter

6 hours ago

Israeli intel thinks Ayatollah dead

7 hours ago

Presidential address canceled

7 hours ago

Tulsi should probably delete this

8 hours ago

“All I want is freedom for the people”

8 hours ago

K$H greatly angered his Orange Messiah over Milan trip

22 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Demented old slob rants at Texas “energy” rally

23 hours ago

Orange Baby freaks out at tech CEO’s refusal to supplicate to him

1 day ago

Islamabad claims 297 Taliban dead in so far in war

1 day ago

Fox News catches Energy Secretary drawing solar power

1 day ago

DHS announces plan to build gulags in flood-prone areas

1 day ago

Marketing wizard commands his thrall to rebrand their vaporware

1 day ago

Fat Hitler claims he’s “exonerated,” wants to “take over” Cuba, etc

1 day ago

NOS-huffing maniac wanted in Pennsylvania for torching house to kill phantom spider swarm cuffed by NYPD after crashing U-Haul

1 day ago

NASA adds a second Artemis Lunar test mission

1 day ago

Suppose it was only a matter of time…

1 day ago

Colombian pro-Trump party lawmaker’s son finally deported

1 day ago

Mike Johnson says Republican’s health situation may be “terminal”

1 day ago

Cabinet secretary’s wife says Trump “too cozy” with commie tyrant

1 day ago

House schedules grueling two-day workweek in DC

1 day ago

Wholesale price index crushes expectations in January

1 day ago

Ivanka’s backup somehow significantly more unqualified for job

1 day ago

Heartbroken Florida man wasn’t suicidal, just kinda stuck in mud

1 day ago

Palestinians overtake Israelis on American sympathies: Gallup poll

1 day ago

Huckabee tells Americans to GTFO of Israel

1 day ago

US laser shoots down US drone on US soil

2 days ago

Pakistani jets bomb Kabul

2 days ago

Byron Donalds disagrees with Stitt fact-checking MAGA bullshit

2 days ago

Indiana school bus driver manages incredible four year streak of drinking on the job without getting caught and immediately fired

2 days ago

Netflix capitulates in WB bidding war

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Hillary unbowed by Comer’s dumbassery

2 days ago

Stephen Miller “repelled” by Noem-Lewandowski affair: book

2 days ago

Tampa International Airport’s Crocs ban sadly just a joke

2 days ago

Zohran comes out victorious again

2 days ago

Convicted attempted murderer accused of succeeding on cellmate

2 days ago

Trump kayfabes a world where he obeys court orders

2 days ago

Surreptitious shot, consequential chaser

2 days ago

New Doritos Protein to boost Doritos eaters’ athletic edge

2 days ago

Orange God Emperor hears out “Stop the Steal” assclowns’ plan for him to declare “national election emergency” ahead of midterms

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump sends JD to lie to voters about US economy

2 days ago

Los Supremos again postpone Carroll v Trump conference

2 days ago

“Prosthetic butthole” dominating entertainment news coverage

2 days ago

Biden didn’t release those missing FBI interviews either, libs

2 days ago

State of the Union ratings lowest ever for Trump

2 days ago

DINGUS RESIGNS: Thran to be sworn in as acting mayor

2 days ago

House Republicans can’t stand being associated with sick sex pest

2 days ago

WEF chairman quits over Epstein ties

2 days ago

Cubans claim Floridians were trying some mini-Bay of Pigs

2 days ago

Hardcore anti-Trump Villager’s MAGA kids don’t really talk to him

3 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x