Categories
Uncategorized

Shovel proves effective at ending kangaroo’s savage assault

In a world defined by mankind’s panoply of modern technological advantages over the lethal threats the animal kingdom still poses – from firearms to bear spray to dynamite to electric cattle prods – it can be easy to forget just how often the solutions to the hazards faunae pose can be found in the simplest of tools, ones that have existed in some form or another since time immemorial.

A publicly-unnamed Victoria, Australia man no doubt has a newfound appreciation for one such tried and true implement, the humble shovel, as 9News reports it was deployed to great and lifesaving effect against a kangaroo that was savagely beating the shit out of his friend, identified only as Col.

Col, a retired farmer, briefly offhand described to 3AW radio the shovel’s effectiveness at striking and thus scaring off the hopping mad marsupial and ending the unfortunate encounter as his friend intervened. “He embarrassingly kicked me in the arse and I’ve got a big hole on the arse cheek,” Col said of just one of the multiple injuries suffered before the shovel worked its magic. The beast also drove a toe claw three inches into Col’s gut and left a large gash on his scalp, among other wounds treated by doctors instead of noted by a coroner – all thanks to a good guy with a shovel.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Israel’s greatest friend vows to abandon them if Netanyahu ousted

4 hours ago

Neckbeard struggles through ill-advised CBS News town hall

17 hours ago

Dem early voter turnout explodes in Iowa and North Carolina

1 day ago

Ashley Hinson asks fans to donate gas money for campaign bus

2 days ago

Brent crude hits $109 a barrel

2 days ago

“Maybe it’s not for her”: Trump on Pizzagate Kate

2 days ago

When will Mehmet Oz denounce Kid Rock’s Islamophobic hatred?

2 days ago

Surprise! Team Orange came up empty on Omar’s status in 2019

2 days ago

Complete piece of shit Trump/Epstein pal fired from regime

2 days ago

Pizzagate Kate’s bad time on Hannity’s insanity hour

3 days ago

President gets head start on precriminations

3 days ago

Matt Gaetz responds to sex trafficking lawsuit by doxxing plaintiff

3 days ago

FBI statement on suspicious mail gives away the targets

3 days ago

Orange Overlord changes execution to private, invite-only affair

3 days ago

Fox News ends clip before morose reaction to their own poll

3 days ago

Jim Jordan eyes House GOP championship belt

3 days ago

Regime trying to denaturalize and deport Ilhan Omar

4 days ago

MAGAmericans blame Democrats for inflation

4 days ago

Netanyahu backs off any new pre-election day Iran attacks

4 days ago

September inflation beats expectations

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Haggard old bag of shit limps into Alaska

5 days ago

Chickenshit tells Houthis to do whatever they want for three weeks

5 days ago

Tepid reviews for Zacharia inside Trump Regime

5 days ago

Kim Guilfoyle fired

5 days ago

Pizzagate Kate’s debut as Regime Info Minister: Watch Live

5 days ago

MAGA PACs pull plug on GOP incumbents

5 days ago

Paxton partied in Dubai with fugitives wanted in US

6 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Scumbag campaigns in Ohio

6 days ago

Trump “looking at” firing Kim Guilfoyle

6 days ago

Russian bots taken offline by Ukrainian strikes on data centers

6 days ago

“Look what The New York Times did to my beautiful Doral”

6 days ago

DHS raids Ilhan Omar’s home

6 days ago

Chuck Grassley files 2028 reelection paperwork

1 week ago

Neurodivergent Mormon disclaims agency over US energy supply

1 week ago

Orange Satan’s approval rating new all-time Pew record low

1 week ago

“In actuality, I should have won 8 Nobel Peace Prizes, not just 1”

1 week ago

Vote Republican if you’re mad Trump lost the Nobel Peace Prize

1 week ago

President celebrates bribe from murderous tyrant

1 week ago

ABC News claims embarrassing premature pubaculation on story about Trump boys’ looting of Pentagon with no-bid contracts

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE: Declining dictator turns the racism up another crank

1 week ago

Nobel tears and butthurt outsourced to dipshit MAGA lawyer

1 week ago

“We wasn’t aware the child was in the car”

1 week ago

Paxton told donors that Cornyn “wants me to lose”

1 week ago

Trump loses Nobel Peace Prize to South African activist

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE: Michigan and Georgia debate double header

1 week ago

Saggy-breasted old slob trying to incite a race war

1 week ago

Regime currently attempting to indict Cassidy Hutchinson

1 week ago

Super intelligent president designates new enemies

1 week ago

Jaydee’s sophistry muscles clearly pretty worn out

1 week ago

Arizona Dem says she was raped while fixing campaign sign

1 week ago

x
x
x
x
x
x