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Shovel proves effective at ending kangaroo’s savage assault

In a world defined by mankind’s panoply of modern technological advantages over the lethal threats the animal kingdom still poses – from firearms to bear spray to dynamite to electric cattle prods – it can be easy to forget just how often the solutions to the hazards faunae pose can be found in the simplest of tools, ones that have existed in some form or another since time immemorial.

A publicly-unnamed Victoria, Australia man no doubt has a newfound appreciation for one such tried and true implement, the humble shovel, as 9News reports it was deployed to great and lifesaving effect against a kangaroo that was savagely beating the shit out of his friend, identified only as Col.

Col, a retired farmer, briefly offhand described to 3AW radio the shovel’s effectiveness at striking and thus scaring off the hopping mad marsupial and ending the unfortunate encounter as his friend intervened. “He embarrassingly kicked me in the arse and I’ve got a big hole on the arse cheek,” Col said of just one of the multiple injuries suffered before the shovel worked its magic. The beast also drove a toe claw three inches into Col’s gut and left a large gash on his scalp, among other wounds treated by doctors instead of noted by a coroner – all thanks to a good guy with a shovel.

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