“I’m working with Governor Gretchen Whitmer on trying to save The Great Lakes from the rather violent and destructive Asian Carp, which is rapidly taking over Lake Michigan, and all of the beautiful surrounds. I’ll be asking other Governors to join into this fight, including those of Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, New York and, of course, the future Governor of Canada, Mark Carney, who I know will be happy to contribute to this worthy cause. Separately, I am also working to save The Great Salt Lake, in Utah, which, in a short period of time, if nothing is done, will have no water. This is on top of everything else I am doing. Only ‘TRUMP’ CAN DO IT!” posted the Orange Largemouth Bass on Tuesday above a video of the carp jumping out of shallow water.
Guess Americans – and Canadians, who are just that much less likely to ever become Americans with every single gratuitous insertion of the stupid “Governor” joke – are supposed to be thanking him for pretending to give a shit on top of everything else stupid that he’s doing.