Breaking: Justice Department denies E. Jean Carroll perjury investigation https://t.co/6JJeZbHL4k

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) May 29, 2026

Lol at the “Breaking” this fucking clown added to the headline, like the denial was something that just had to get out to his audience to reassure them that their Orange Messiah’s regime isn’t going after his rape accuser, just the people that bankrolled the legal fees for her two winning lawsuits against him for raping and then defaming her. What their actual crime was supposed to have been is unclear to those who would only read it from Solomon’s content mill. Likely deliberately.

“In light of widespread reporting and intense media and public interest in the E Jean Carroll matter in New York, the Chicago US Attorney’s Office can confirm that it has not opened – and has never opened – a criminal investigation into Carroll. Any claim to the contrary is categorically false,” the story quotes Regime US Attorney Andrew Boutros’s office, which then leads into a strangely triumphant “The New York Times, which cited anonymous sources in its initial report on the alleged probe, acknowledged Boutros’ denial and said sources have since told it that Hoffman’s nonprofit, American Future Republic — and not Carroll — is currently the subject of the criminal inquiry.”

Meaning Solomon’s lame propaganda outlet is spiking the football that the New York Times “acknowledged” Boutros’s denial and thus somehow stuck it to its libtard subscribers by disabusing their preconceived notion that Trump’s team would prosecute the woman still waiting to collect a sum $90 million in judgments from one of the fat fuck’s donors or maybe the Qataris, who the hell knows who’s going to step up and pay it for him, he sure as shit isn’t going to write the check.

With or without that part and irrespective whether there’s any truth behind the denial, it’s just so low-T for Solomon and Co to be so obviously happy to report that the MAGA Reich isn’t actually trying to prosecute EJ Carroll. Isn’t it supposed to be awesome that they were going to put her ass in prison for daring to take on the Orange God Emperor? What happened to owning the libs and being proud of it? The Times printing Boutros’s denial is what counts as a win these days?