White House Axios Secretary Barak Ravid gives Trump-Iran update

White House Axios Secretary Barak Ravid on Friday told real reporters via Twitter that President Trump told him that he expects a peace deal with Iran to be signed over the weekend or on Monday.

Secretary Ravid did not calibrate his message to manage expectations, as that is not really his responsibility as the Administration’s Axios Secretary is more focused on crafting press releases delivered in bullet point form via Axios.com, a privately-owned news website. Be smart.

WATCH LIVE: Kennedy Center Denazification underway

Judge taps out of blocking White House UFC fight

White House Axios Secretary Barak Ravid gives Trump-Iran update

“Void” is catchier than “expunge”: Luna’s intra-cranial focus group

Dan Sullivan banned from ballot in Alaska

Orange Tyrant screams at Iranians for “leaking” to “fake news”

Randy Fine laments Ammonites’ rejection of the Orange Yahweh

K$H sics agents on Ohio voter rights organization

“The aluminum chassis, while almost identical, has holes that are machined with a slightly different pattern”: Trump T1 necropsy

Newsmax reports DOGE cutting gay trans fly breeding program

Majority of Evangelicals oppose war in Iran: Reuters/Ipsos poll

Kennedy Center puppet board seeks stay of Trump name removal

Mediocre white guys slapfighting on Twitter again

Regime plans lame duck “expunge” of Trump impeachments: WSJ

“President Donald Trump grew furious this week”

New York Post reports Nazi-curious degenerate unfit for office

Federal judge finds Ken Paxton sued ActBlue to retaliate against them for funding Dem campaigns to public office, tosses case

Mysterious “8647” crop circles appear on National Mall

Pasadena PD releases video of cop-on-cop “horseplay” shooting

Fannie Man already pushed aside at DNI

Colorado wildfire a lesson on not crashing a plane onto dry brush

TACO post drops like clockwork

Apex of masculine dominance falsely advertised as dancing during “tele-rally” in which he will only address audience via speakerphone

Lefty perennial NYC candidate acquitted in ICE gulag stunt

Jaydee to join The View next week

Ben Shapiro tweets diagram of his media career

Republican Indiana sheriff indicted for campaign sign fuckery

Tehran threatens Ketamine Brain’s Middle East assets

The fake news is Iran’s best defense: President on Fox News

Wholesale inflation beats expectations

Tired old huckster promises win that has eluded him for months

Fox News brings you inside Orange Caligula’s games arena

Dems 50 – GOP 40 on generic ballot: Emerson poll

Republicans demand FEC probe the other Dan Sullivan

John Solomon reports socialist warlord brazenly touting his crimes

No fewer than 22 doctors assigned to Trump at Walter Reed

US resumes bombing Iran

WATCH LIVE: Trump surrounded by adoring worshippers

Spartan should have gone to the hospital

Bear season again in Japan

White House celebrates Trump “control” instead of melting down

Knicks fans react to President Trump at Madison Square Garden

Johnson and Johnson and shitty “voter fraud” conspiracies

Federal judge nukes Regime’s $100,000 H1-B fee

President Two Weeks has some opinions on instant gratification

Biden’s screwworm crisis getting worse: Ag Secretary Rollins

Sam Bankrupt-Fried formally applies for Trump pardon

White House tired of media’s separation of powers “narrative”

Fanboy finds time to bitch about MSM coverage of gas prices

Tired old man acts as though Iran and Israel actually listening to him