Mad Fuhrer issues signature all-caps bunker rant

“OIL IS FLOWING, IRAN CAN NEVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON (THE WORLD WILL BE SAFE!), THE STOCK MARKETS ARE ROARING, JOBS ARE AT RECORDS, AND PRICES ARE DROPPING (AFFORDABILITY!). OUR COUNTRY IS STRONG, SAFE, AND RESPECTED LIKE NEVER BEFORE. ‘YOU’RE WELCOME!'” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday.

You’re welcome, America. All of the Fuhrer’s sacrifices and suffering have gifted you with such good fortune and it’s on you to express humble gratitude to him for having such courage.

Hunter Biden wins big at Supreme Court

Mad Fuhrer issues signature all-caps bunker rant

BREAKING: UFC terror attack plotter a Mexican DACA recipient!!!

Tropical Storm Arthur to dump up to 20 inches of rain on Texas

“Pastors for Trump” founder forsaken by his true God

WATCH LIVE: Orange God Emperor snaps at reporters in France

Jon “Os(jerk!)off” pretty clever for Trump

“Incensed by the dissent”

You can kind of tell why they wanted to hang Mike Pence

Rick Jackson defeats Trump-endorsed scumbag in Georgia gov primary, Trump-endorsed scumbag Collins takes Senate primary

Trump needs Modi to help him climb single step

Regime to allow Iranians to start selling oil immediately

Jaydee x The View kind of sucked for Jaydee

McDonald’s celebrates America250 by reviving fried apple pies

Taxpayers covering at least $300 million of Trump ballroom costs

“Most of that is basically Iranian propaganda”

Muslim Republican leaves Texas GOP convention in tears

“Dumocrats” propagating Trump capitulation

Fanboy says it’s okay to give Iran money because they took a beating

Newsom says he’s under federal grand jury investigation

Strategic Petroleum Reserve at lowest level since 1983

WATCH LIVE: National embarrassment in Europe for a day or two

Top Israeli official gives a big fuck no to Trump “peace deal”

Regime to send pallets of cash to Iran: Jaydee

Orange God Emperor laments his impotence

Jaydee and Stephen pushed hard for Insurrection Act: NYT

MAGA Congresswoman claims “voter fraud” in next reconciliation

Norwegian Prince Joffrey sentenced to four years for rapes

Trump “hereby fully authorizes” Strait of Hormuz reopening

White House disputes weather forecast reporting as “bullshit”

Team Orange fear Swan/Haberman have tapes from situation room

Birthday loser whines over his best bud ruining the day

Swiss right wing on track to lose population cap referendum

Hahahahaha! Good one Greg!

Regime has to “certify” Trump removal from JFK center by noon

Senate Republicans “assuming” Trump will spend on Paxton

Texas GOP symbol non-symbolically pisses on convention floor

WATCH LIVE: Kennedy Center Denazification underway

Judge taps out of blocking White House UFC fight

White House Axios Secretary Barak Ravid gives Trump-Iran update

“Void” is catchier than “expunge”: Luna’s intra-cranial focus group

Dan Sullivan banned from ballot in Alaska

Orange Tyrant screams at Iranians for “leaking” to “fake news”

Randy Fine laments Ammonites’ rejection of the Orange Yahweh

K$H sics agents on Ohio voter rights organization

“The aluminum chassis, while almost identical, has holes that are machined with a slightly different pattern”: Trump T1 necropsy

Newsmax reports DOGE cutting gay trans fly breeding program

Majority of Evangelicals oppose war in Iran: Reuters/Ipsos poll

Kennedy Center puppet board seeks stay of Trump name removal

Mediocre white guys slapfighting on Twitter again