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Desperate times call for…

…some pretty desperate bullshit.

Found in the mail at the above redacted address on Saturday, having been delivered sometime after whenever it was that the recipient bothered to actually check the mail – probably like five or six days ago, was this very official-looking cry for help marketed as being sent by President Donald J Trump as a public voter registration drive. You know, like in states where they encourage people to join the voter rolls as a service to promote the civic virtue of democratic engagement.

Now my first thought was “Pre-fucking-dictable that they would use taxpayer funds to send out these mailers to try to get people to register as Republican voters. They totally would.”

And it sure does look like an official form, except… Well it’s not an actual voter registration form.

Not even close. It’s just asking you to donate to the party – by writing your fucking credit card number on a piece of paper, putting it in envelope, and mailing it – and then get spammed constantly via email and SMS to donate more to this piece of shit operation that would send this garbage.

It gets better because it also includes a letter, “written” by the Orange Overlord himself:

Dear Fellow American,

The 2026 Election Year is well underway, and I am writing to ask you to review, sign, and return the enclosed Republican Registration Form to the Republican Party headquarters. Please take this important action right away.

I have asked the Republican National Committee (RNC) to make it a priority to verify and update our records of Republican activists and MAGA voters as we prepare for this year’s elections.

The future of my Presidency — and our nation — is on the ballot as voters go to the polls to determine control of both Chambers of Congress, dozens of governorships, state legislatures, and other important state and local elected positions.

I am having the RNC undertake this nationwide voter verification project because recent elections have shown that early action to identify supportive voters, organize a turn-out plan, and make sure our voters cast ballots — produces victories. And I want as many Republican victories as possible this November!

I’ve given the Republican Party a clear mandate to verify and activate our database of patriotic Trump supporters like you to get Republican and MAGA voters to cast ballots in 2026 — in person, via the mail, or during early voting — because every vote matters.

Republicans need to identify and “bank” as many votes as possible before Election Day, freeing up our activists to focus on rallying undecided voters to the polls and ensuring that weather, health concerns, or last-minute travel plans don’t cost Republicans and me a single vote or a critical election.

This fall’s elections are a make-or-break battle for the future of our nation that we cannot afford to lose. We’ve seen that the Democrats put their partisan political goals before the best interests of our nation. They don’t care that their policies, divisive rhetoric, and reckless spending bring about sky-high inflation, increase violent crime, drive up the cost of living, allow millions of illegal immigrants to flood our nation, trample on our values and rights, and unleash widespread unrest and division in our nation.

I know that America is worth fighting for and I hope you will remain steadfast by my side in this last, great election battle of my political career. I want to go out on top, with Republican Majorities for my entire Presidency so we can truly Make America Great Again.

That’s why I am asking you to please immediately review and return your Republican Registration Form along with a supporting contribution to the Republican National Committee of $35, $50, $100, $250, or even $500 in the pre-addressed envelope provided today.

The future of my Presidency and our entire country is on the line. So please, if you cannot send $35 or more today, sign and return your Republican Registration Form to update our database, along with a gift of just $10 or $20 to defray the cost of this important Party-building effort.

This project will verify who top Republican activists and MAGA supporters are and whereyou are located. Grassroots leaders like you are our greatest resource — acting as foot soldiers for our campaigns, providing us with eyes and ears in local communities, and supporting our candidates.

I believe that the Republican Party needs your leadership and your active support more than ever.

The Democrats believe that they can win control of one or both Chambers of Congress with outrageous, vicious attacks on my Administration and me, ugly name-calling, and non-stop shrill protests — a pathetic temper tantrum by poor losers who will do or say anything to get back in power.

Unfortunately, the biased media hacks ignore the Democrats’ reckless partisanship, lack of a positive agenda, and their stated goal of spending the next two years investigating, subpoenaing, and impeaching me and members of my Administration.

That’s why I am calling for a grassroots uprising by the entire MAGA Movement of Republicans, Independents, and disillusioned Democrats who rejected the Biden-Harris Democrats’ failed leadership and radical socialist policies in 2024 and helped Republicans and me surge forward to a historic landslide victory.

My name might not be on the ballot this November, but my legacy is.

That’s why I am asking you to join this cause by confirming the information on your Republican Registration Form, signing it, and returning the document in the pre-addressed envelope provided with a contribution of $35, $50, $100, $250, $500, or whatever you can spare.

Every day, the battle for America’s future becomes more urgent and intense as campaigns heat up all across the country. We need the RNC to keep reaching out to verify Republican and MAGA voters, promote the truth about my record of historic achievements, organize a comprehensive Get-Out-The-Vote effort, and ensure Republican candidates win every close election!

By working together now, we can help Republicans win in November and preserve the legislative leverage I need to keep winning for America. Please respond immediately.

Sincerely,

Donald J Trump
President of the United States

PS I am counting on you to take part in this voter verification effort to identify, organize, and motivate every possible Republican and MAGA voter for this year’s midterm elections. Please do not delay — complete, sign, and return the enclosed Republican Registration Form to the Republican National Committee to help us update our database, and please include a contribution of $35, $50, $100, $250, $500, or whatever amount you can spare to fund this effort and build our campaign to defend our Republican Congressional Majorities and continue to build and protect my legacy for America.

The 2026 election is THE defining political battle that will determine the future of my Presidency and the kind of nation we leave behind for our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Thank you in advance for caring enough to join me in this important, impactful effort.

OCRed and pasted that in all its non-glory to bring home just how plaintive and weak it sounds.

Of course if it were that fucking important they would’ve pre-paid the postage for the included return envelope instead of putting “PLACE STAMP HERE,” these cheap motherfuckers.

Anyway, Happy 4th and 250th to all, and to all a good night of hoping the fat bastard’s speech to a tiny crowd gets rained out. The National Mall was just ordered evacuated due to storms.

Here’s C-Span’s feed just in case.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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