Categories
Uncategorized

Shark fin kid from Jaws now a police chief on Martha’s Vineyard, has yet to be punished by karma for fictional false alarm prank

Oak Bluff, Massachusetts man Jonathan Searle tells Remind Magazine that his very brief career as a child actor playing the kid who wore a fake shark fin during a scene in 1975’s Jaws hasn’t had any cosmic bearing on his current role as real chief of police in the town of Oak Bluff, which stood in as the fictional Amity in the film, thus putting Searle in the shoes of Roy Scheider’s Brody.

“Zero. Never. The only shark bite that we had was someone fishing for sharks and caught one. It was hooked, and they were dragging him into the surf, and the shark slid into him riding a wave and accidentally bit him in the leg,” the 61 year-old Searle told the outlet when asked if there had been any shark attacks during his tenure. They either didn’t bother asking if he ever had to respond to a panic caused by a kid wearing a shark fin at a beach or the answer was so terse they didn’t print it.

Asked how Oak Bluff has changed since the movie premiered over a half-century ago, the lawman said “Population-wise, it started after Jaws put it on the map. Hate to say Ted Kennedy put it on the map in the late 60s [referring to adjacent Edgartown and Chappaquiddick]. Yeah. And then Jaws put it on the map, and then visiting presidents Clinton and Obama put it on the map even more. So, our population now is, I’m guessing, two and a half times what it was back in the seventies, and a lot of year-round population. Summer population, I’m guessing roughly 22 to 24,000 year-round, and in the summer that’s easily 120 to 150,000 at least,” just ever-so-casually alluding to the day-to-day headaches he experiences on the job as top cop in a seasonal beach town, busy seasons yet to be punctuated by having to blow up a bus-sized great white shark with a flare gun and oxygen tanks.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

“The Biden Administration is over!”

2 hours ago

Louisiana ICE agent arrested for breaking into ex’s home

3 hours ago

Jared Kushner pleads for preemptive mercy from Jeffries

4 hours ago

Flock CEO details the human side of a mass surveillance state

21 hours ago

ChiComs making you hate data centers: New Big Tech PR message

1 day ago

Trump interrupted by heckler at cult speech

2 days ago

RNC chair blames Biden for abysmal Trump approval ratings

2 days ago

Supreme Court allows work to continue on Trump ballroom

2 days ago

Don Jr-backed “anti-woke marketplace” PublicSquare collapses

2 days ago

“As everyone knows, under President Biden…”

2 days ago

Breitbart reports socialist on slippery slope to full-blown Marxism

2 days ago

Natalie Harp’s creepy, obsessive letters to Trump leak to Daily Beast

3 days ago

Navy to rename carrier USS Doris Miller to USS Donald Trump: CNN

3 days ago

Smarmy MAGA Congressman says Trump pussied out vs Iran

3 days ago

Undercover ICE agent dropped recording device at church

3 days ago

FBI agents seize Swalwell’s devices, raid house

3 days ago

WSJ declares Bonesaw’s insane future city project DOA

3 days ago

Republicans urge Big Tech to improve data centers’ image

3 days ago

“Toughest president ever” announces “ECONOMIC D-DAY”

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Marie Antionette gushes over his Versailles

4 days ago

Orange God Emperor retroactively undorses Cory Mills

4 days ago

Byron Dork butthurt as “dirty trick” works out well so far

4 days ago

Madison Cawthorn gets 8.5 percent in FL-19 primary

4 days ago

Cory Mills loses primary

5 days ago

BREAKING: Fox News admits they lied to viewers about gas prices

5 days ago

California MAGA county clerk to hire Tina Peters as top deputy

5 days ago

“Peace president” gives up on peace talks

5 days ago

Fox News excited to hype launch of new mental poison for kids

5 days ago

ABC files First Amendment lawsuit against FCC

5 days ago

Orange Tyrant still really nervous over Dan Sullivan “hoax”

5 days ago

Frau Ingraham badmouths men who wear makeup

6 days ago

Pete Hegseth visits battlefield to try to help boost morale

6 days ago

President embarrasses nation because it’s a day that ends in Y

6 days ago

Texas MAGA Congressman says suffering American sailors full of shit

6 days ago

Supreme Court spikes Trump’s bid for EJ Carroll rehearing

6 days ago

Orange Fuhrer vows to “bomb the shit out of” US ally Oman

6 days ago

AP reports Trump-Iran 60-day “ceasefire” expires on Monday, lol

6 days ago

“This is real… He hasn’t brought anything down”

7 days ago

Israel relying on AI chatbots to help polish its image

7 days ago

Show us on the doll where the Shannon Bream woked you

7 days ago

Todd Blanche says it’s Trump right to pardon violent Jan 6 felons

1 week ago

Trump-appointed bank regular declares Trump crypto scam a bank

1 week ago

MAGA New York gubernatorial candidate and Nassau County Exec Bruce Blakeman is weak on border security and fighting socialism

1 week ago

Hawaii’s Big Island under hurricane warning

1 week ago

Deranged old loser mad GOP couldn’t find another “Mary Peltola”

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE: Fat Hitler traps Long Island police cadets

1 week ago

Consumer sentiment takes a beating again

1 week ago

Witch-haired freak dismisses suffering of civilians, military alike

1 week ago

Luigi-a-pleads-a-guilty-to-a-murda!

1 week ago

Box-o-Wine announces arrest in WWII monument vandalism

1 week ago

x
x
x
x
x
x