The white nationalist stormtroopers of ICE are spending $20 million of taxpayer dollars to procure special gloves – branded literally GLOVEs, as in Generated Low Output Voltage Emitter – to electrocute noncompliant victims of their overlord Stephen Miller’s reaction to finding out he’s Eskimo brothers with rapey scumbag Eric Swalwell, the AP reports, citing a DHS order.

The “GLOVEs,” manufactured by Compliant Technologies LLC, are not new, untested technology as some police and corrections departments have already been using them to subd- Oh, you really want to know about the Swalwell-Katie Miller thing? WELL, last week this one former Axios/Daily Beast reporter-turned-Substacker Juliegrace Brufke put out a story that in 2014, a then-22 year-old intern Katie Schwald had a thing with the-then 34 year-old Swalwell. Miller herself confirmed this, on Twitter, writing “I was an intern on Capital Hill” in response to Brufke’s tweet reading “Scoop: Eric Swalwell and Katie Miller: Former Cross-Party Fling Provides Leverage in DOJ Fang Fang File Drop.”

The incomprehensible second half of that sentence sense notwithstanding, yeah this is probably why Stephen Miller wants his legions to be equipped to electrocute a screaming autistic 12 year-old girl into submission for interfering with their efforts to lock her loving father up in the gulag for the “crime” of overstaying his tourist visa in 1999. All thanks to Eric Swalwell, disgraced now and at best doomed to an Anthony Wiener-dom purgatory of successive failed comeback attempts starting in five or 10 years, effing Stephen’s now wife several years before they had even met. Back when Swalwell was merely a handsome womanizer who charmed young Katie into bed with far more ease than the prematurely bald, vampirically pallid, and perpetually miserable Stephen did. The mere thought of Katie howling in ecstasy whilst being gripped by the Democrat Swalwell in a darkened office at 2:15 PM on a Thursday demands that immigrants suffer the pain of electrocution.

Probably. This is all just a colorful theory of the case. For all any of us know Katie told Stephen about this a while ago and he just wants excessive brutality against immigrants anyway. Also there was a joke in here about ICE agents forgetting to turn the GLOVEs off before taking a piss, but the whole thing about Stephen Miller getting sexually outperformed by Eric Swalwell got in the way.