🚨 OH MY GOD! 🚨 HOLY SHIT! 🚨 YOU GUYS! 🚨 *PANTING* 🚨 NBC NEWS REPORTS TRUMP MIGHT ANNOUNCE HIS NEW RUNNING MATE THIS WEEK! This is so huge! The media’s been waiting for this like FOREVER! Or at least it feels like it’s been forever! The VEEPSTAKES winner will be announced! BREAKING NEWS! SO HUGE! VERY EXCITING! It’s like a major thing!
Ughhhhh… Anyway, what is kind of genuinely mildly amusing about this is that some outlet, we forget which, reported that Trump was saving the announcement for immediately after his sentencing date as something to do to move past a damaging news cycle. NBC’s article says the running mate announcement might come at a rally in Virginia on Friday, which should say he’s planning on playing that “change the subject” card earlier because the Thursday CNN debate could go that badly. We’re also fairly sure it’s going to end up being North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum.