Seems like the regime’s just going to skip the subpoenas and go straight to door-bashing home raids on this one: The Washington Post reports that convicted felon President Trump last month did not only not fly out of Turkey on Qatar Force One and then use a bullshit excuse to pretend that the $400 million bribe from the wealthy emirate was perfectly safe for him to fly on internationally on the way home from Ankara, he also didn’t even fly on the real Air Force One as was previously reported.

The Orange God Emperor was instead ferried across the Atlantic and to the NATO summit on a military aircraft trailing behind AF1, so fearful was he of the reprisal from Iran for his moronic and already failed campaign against them. TV cameras caught the fat bastard boarding the real plane before he was scurried out of a side door to the unspecified military jet, and then Trump secretly rendezvoused with the real AF1 in the UK. No wonder Donald freaked the fuck out over the Times’s reporting about the Qatar Force One vulnerabilities – they were within inches of this specific detail.

So just to recap: Last month our super tough and brave president let his entire retinue and military personnel fly on an Air Force One 747 that he knew to be targeted by Iranian missiles, secretly switched to another plane, THEN at a US base in the UK he had everyone switch to Qatar Force One and lied about why when asked – saying he wanted US airmen to check out the new bribe plane.

All to cover up a more damning lie: He was too chickenshit even to fly on the real Air Force One.