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Random Headlines Thursday, Volume Zero

This is a one-off. For now. National Zero is backlogged as fuck and rather than triage coverage let’s just do it with an homage to my friend and mentor’s traditional weekly roundup. Except this is all news that would’ve otherwise been published as individual articles rather than thoughts. Well maybe some “thoughts”, but whatever. It’s still different. Especially the NZ logo bullet points.

Wednesday’s “Order 66” sweep by the FBI snagged yet another MAGA scumbag: Arizona GOP Chairwoman “Chemtrails Kelli” Ward and her husband whose name isn’t important because fuck him. Both were served subpoenas for their involvement in the fake electors scam.

Mo Brooks wants to talk to the January 6th Committee, with strings attached that it be in public, only House members question him (as opposed to staff lawyers or investigators), and strictly about January 6th itself. Weird how he just suddenly decided to cooperate this week, like something changed his mind. Wonder what could’ve happened to Mo to precipitate such a switch.

Kind of forgot that Trump minions still have active litigation against the select committee and companies that have complied with subpoenas. Well now there’s one less, as Trump spokesworm Taylor Budowich’s complaint against the Committee and Chase for handing over his bank records was tossed Thursday. Sucks for him. Maybe he should stop being such a Budo-bitch.

Pennsylvania MAGA Congressman Mike Kelly publicly denied RonAnon’s attempt to blame him for the fake electoral votes clusterfuck Johnson’s been snagged in since Tuesday’s reveal. “Senator [Ron] Johnson’s statements about Representative Kelly are patently false. Mr. Kelly has not spoken to Sen. Johnson for the better part of a decade, and he has no knowledge of the claims Mr. Johnson is making related to the 2020 election,” said Kelly in a statement. That’s not really something a person used to saying “Deal with it libtards” would say. Kelly – who was knee deep in the “Stop the Steal” shit and was listed as the lead plaintiff on the first big MAGA election lawsuit the Supreme Court spiked in December 2020 – is probably looking at what happened Wednesday to pajama boy Jeff Clark and the rest of them and decided that maybe Merrick Garland isn’t fucking around. Or Kelly got served with a subpoena himself. Remember, the DOJ didn’t actually announce any of yesterday’s “Order 66”, which is why it all got reported piecemeal by various outlets. ABC’s source for the raid on Clark was his friggin neighbor. Who knows who else got swept up?

Madison.com reports a Trump Campaign lawyer coordinated with RonAnon to deliver the fake electoral votes to Pence in the middle of the joint session on January 6th and Jesus Christ maybe Johnson should’ve just shut his fucking mouth and waited a few days before he started telling stories that were debunked. You don’t need to be Dave Wasserman or Steve Kornacki to understand this is not where you want to be with abysmal approval ratings in a tough election year.

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp’s going to testify to the Fulton County DA’s grand jury. Kemp probably isn’t going to talk to them about the Obi-Wan season finale.

This has been probably the busiest week for National Zero since the week of the Capitol riot itself. No joke. Difference is now we both compose articles from scratch instead of copying and pasting everything back then like Political Wire and JoeMyGod do (much respect for those two no matter what). Really could use just maybe a day when an “article” like this was good at the top for the better part of an hour. Three straight days of near non-stop National Zero-ing.

Oh and we’ve got and the you know what from the Supreme Court to “look forward to” tomorrow.

PS Saturday is NatZeromas, the celebration of our second birthday and the publication of our first article. Friday is NatZeromas Eve, the day the domain was registered and the Disqus feed went live. Which means Thursday is NatZeroFestivus. So air your grievances.

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When RonAnon is the Congressional GOP’s moral center…

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Vietnam elects communist party swamp creature to presidency

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Jaydee crushes it at Orban rally in key EU swing state Hungary

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Process (war) crimes

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Breitbart maintains this is a flex in 2026

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“God, you’re hot”: GOP Tennessee school board member to teen girl

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IDF hits Iranian petrochemical facility

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Things got awkward during Trump call to Artemis crew

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Minnesota GOP reps kicked off public safety committee after DWI

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Mentally ill president still going: Live video

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Top Jaydee ally thinks Pope will coronate Melania as US monarch

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WATCH LIVE: Dangerous mental patient allowed to be near children

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Tech CEOs say people not as abusive to delivery bots as expected

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Trump too insane for woman living in fear of French assassins

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Fat stupid idiot unfucks Dem side of California gov primary field

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Republicans hope “fraud” the new “affordability” with healthcare

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Fox News edits out the “Praise be to Allah” part

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Second missing US F-15 crew member rescued

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Amazon hits marketplace sellers with 3.5 percent fuel surcharge

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Orange Ayatollah now almost literally saying “Allahu akbar” online

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Fox News locked in on desperate race to find missing pilot

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President displays his concern for still-missing downed F-15 pilot

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Villager opposed to other Villager’s Trump restroom naming plan

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Pentagon chapel kind of officially exiles Catholics on Good Friday

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Justice Department lawyer wastes perfectly good picture frame

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Rescuers bring back one of two F-15 crew members

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WINNING: Multinational company hiring 60,000 in Trump economy

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Everything is awesome

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ICE arrests Palestine-born leader of Milwaukee Islamic community

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Iranians shoot down USAF F-15

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Slobbery tryst gets awkward when other man’s name comes up

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Man who knows he’s a fraud charged with recognizing it in others

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Regime budget increases both death abroad and suffering at home

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Fox News reports Trump hasn’t actually ended DEI

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Chinese drug trafficking suspect extradited from US back home

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Myanmar transitions from military dictatorship to uncivic autocracy

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Swalwell says Bondi never tipped him off, Trump an idiot

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Petey Pee Pants fires Army chief of staff in middle of war

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WATCH LIVE: Tornado streamer apparently closing in on tornado

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Delaware cops find “possible human skull” along creek in woods

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“For the record, the DOW was under 50,000”

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Pam Bondi officially fired, Trump confirms

5 days ago

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