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Fox News reports Olive Garden can do it, so why can’t America

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Tate Bros arrested in Miami on UK arrest warrant

“The Crown Prosecution Service has decided to bring further charges against brothers Andrew and Tristan Tate in relation to four further victims. The CPS has decided to prosecute Andrew Tate, 39, with seven further counts of rape, three counts of arranging or facilitating trafficking for sexual exploitation, three counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm and 19 additional charges for offences relating to indecent images of a child and extreme pornography. The CPS has decided to prosecute Tristan Tate, 38, with one count of sexual assault, two counts of rape and three counts of arranging or facilitating trafficking for sexual exploitation.”

“The offending is alleged to have taken place between July 2010 and August 2017. The suspects were arrested by the US Marshal Service in the United States of America on July 18, 2026. Following their arrest in the US, prosecutors will be seeking extradition in relation to the original 21 charges and the further charges which we have decided to prosecute,” says a press release from the Crown Prosecution Service, announcing the Trump Regime’s betrayal of the right wing influencers.

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Iranian strikes kill at least two US service members in Jordan

In a tweet posted Saturday, CENTCOM announced that “On July 17, two US service members in Jordan were killed in action as US Central Command (CENTCOM) and partner forces defended against Iranian ballistic missile and drone attacks. Additionally, one service member is currently missing in action,” thereby increasing the official death toll of convicted felon President Trump’s feckless war against Iran to 16 – nine by enemy action and the rest in accidents in the region.

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Voter data Trump says China acquired is mostly publicly available

Convicted felon President Trump’s claim in his Thursday night rant that China accessed over 220 million voter files may or may not be true. If it is, it did not require a whole lot of work on their part to get as CBS News reports that in 20 states plus DC every registered voter’s data is publicly available, another 20 have it gated behind specific requests for research purposes, and five limit access to specific groups like parties, PACs, and so on – databases that could easily leak or be sold off and then be passed onto any other actors with varying levels of nefarious intent, not just China.

Upshot being that simply saying that Chinese intel agents have the names and data on 220 million voters isn’t all that impressive and very little if any serious “hacking” was involved.

To top that all off, it’s not like Trump is threatening China with any major consequences for their alleged interference in the 2020 election. One would think that if he really believed this then he would be acting as belligerently with Xi as he has been with the Ayatollah, but no. He’s just limply attempting to use it for political purposes here at home, making noises about “integrity.”

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Canadian outlet omits origin of smoke

Convicted felon President Trump was, uncharacteristically, actually informed enough to post “We are holding Canada responsible for the fact that they are not properly maintaining their Forests, and Brush therein, and the United States is being unnecessarily invaded by filthy, polluted, and unhealthy air, the quality of which is dangerous, and totally unacceptable! I will call the Prime Minister during the day to find out what they are going to do about it. The cost is incalculable!”

Stopping him right there to point out that he’s just going to make something up anyway. “Canada has refused to engage in basic Forest Management and Debris Removal, knowing that such refusal will lead to exactly this result. This is Willful Negligence, and becoming a yearly occurrence, costing the United States Billions of Dollars, which cost of this pollution must of necessity be added to the TARIFFS Canada is currently paying,” Trump, a champion of environmentalists, continued.

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President flexes level of commitment to lowering costs for voters

“The Reflecting Pool, so badly damaged by Deranged Vandals, has been emptied as the massive slash gets repaired. We got it through the great July 4th Weekend. What kind of animals would do such a thing? We are looking for a Vandal Proof material, but such a thing should not have been necessary. The Scum in Court will hopefully be prosecuted to the MAX,” posted President Trump on Friday, showing all the haters and doubters his laser focus on cost of living issues facing Americans.

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Jaydee cancels helicopter flight to son’s golf practice

Neckbearded Vice President JD Vance on Thursday canceled plans to use a government helicopter to ferry him and his son to junior golf practice, MS Now’s Carol Leonnig reports, crediting her own Wednesday story about how the Secret Service was getting fed up with JD’s waste, fraud, and abuse of resources.

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White House teleprompter guy made $100,000 on Kalshi bets

Convicted felon President Trump’s teleprompter guy Gabriel Perez, who has been with the Orange God Emperor’s team since 2016, earlier this year won at least $100,000 on insider bets placed on the specific content of speeches displayed on the devices and is, per ABC News, “in talks with federal regulators to settle allegations he used his inside knowledge of the president’s speeches to win.”

“Our surveillance team promptly flagged and referred these trades to the CFTC, and we are cooperating and assisting regulators,” said Kalshi’s general counsel in a statement to ABC, a confirmation from the scam betting house that the White House didn’t bother to deny. “The White House has strict ethics guidelines that we expect all staffers and officials to follow,” said Trump spokesminion Davis Ingle, adding “The staffer in question is fully cooperating with the CFTC.”

Note the “all staffers and officials” part, meaning the plebes who Qatar doesn’t have enough $400 million luxury 747s to gift to. The technicians and other scrubs who, when they get caught by mainstream media reporters who ask a company backed by Don Jr why a bettor had a 100 percent win average on the content of Trump’s speeches, gets offered up as a token sacrifice to pretend that the skeleton of a regulator is still functioning and punishing scam artists who don’t play fair.

Nowhere in the article does it say Perez has or is going to be fired for the breach, however.

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Wealthy Russians moving assets to overseas seizure shelters

Russian elites are moving their money to overseas accounts and investments in order to protect their wealth from the reach of the state… and yes of course you heard that one before.

This time Bloomberg reports that it’s Vladdy Daddy’s regime – and not the US Treasury or other western financial authorities – aiming to seize whatever they can to fund the increasingly dire economic situation wrought by the nearly five years-long war against Ukraine. With it have come a real USSR retro-throwback in the form of a number of high-profile asset seizures. In response there’s been tens of billions in capital outflow to places like Dubai – itself as of February 28th not exactly the hottest real estate market given the belligerence of a cranky neighbor across the Strait.

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TOTAL WITCH HUNT! SOCIALIST NAZI COMMIE FASCISM!

…and so on and so forth as CNN reports that Chief of Staff Susie Wiles and incompetent binge drinking douchebag FBI Director K$H Patel have been ordering White House and other federal government employees to turn in their phones in an effort to track down the source(s) of various outlets’ reporting on the security flaws in convicted felon President Trump’s Qatar Force One plane.

CNN cites an administration official in the story – the very existence of which speaks to the efficacy of the “WITCH HUNT” thus far – writing that Trump “fumed” over the reporting on Friday night and ordered K$H to ditch his plans to watch his idiot girlfriend perform at some country music show in Chicago, with the witch hunt quickly leading to subpoenas for New York Times reporters.

The fucking dumbest and most on-brand part of it all is this: The White House press pool was with him on the real Air Force One on the way back from Turkey. Then they landed in England to switch to Qatar Force One to head to DC. Asked why, Trump made up some stupid excuse that didn’t make sense. It doesn’t take a federal criminal investigation to conclude that the most likely chain of events was that one or more of the reporters pulled an airman aside and had a 30 second conversation about the switch, probably even leading the questions by saying “That’s bullshit, right? Qatar Force One isn’t as safe from Iranian attack as the real deal, so you guys told him he had to take the old one. Do I have that correct?” and then running with it. Examining people’s phones serves no purpose other than preventing K$H from getting fired. And finding other, unrelated kompromat on them.

“Patel posted up in an office next to Wiles’ for roughly seven hours, as the two established what one source referred to as a ‘war room’ in the West Wing,” CNN wrote and lol.

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Key 2024 swing state voters belatedly realize they fucked up: poll

“More than 4 in 10 voters in the Keystone state (44 percent) say they are worse off financially than they were a year ago, 36 percent say they are better off financially than they were a year ago, and 19 percent volunteer they are the same financially as they were a year ago, according to a Quinnipiac University poll of registered voters in Pennsylvania released today. This is a change from QU’s February 25 poll, when 36 percent of voters said they were worse off financially than they were a year ago, 40 percent said they were better off, and 22 percent volunteered they were the same financially as they were a year ago,” says the intro to Quinnipiac’s Pennsylvania survey.

Guess it was supposed to be a pulse check since Gov Josh Shapiro’s up for reelection in November but obviously it’s not his policies that are making Keystone Staters’ lives suckier. Shapiro, job approval 51 percent to 33 disapprove, leads some Republican scrub named Nancy Garrity 53 to 40.

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South central Texas under severe flood threat

The Texas counties of Medina, Frio, Uvalde, Kinney, Maverick, Zavala, Val Verde, Edwards, Real, and Bandera are under a threat of cataclysmic flooding on the scale of 10 to 20 inches of rain over the next two days, the Texas Tribune reports on a potential repeat of last year’s July 4th deluges that killed 119 people – including 25 young girls at a camp in nearby Kerr County.

“Texas is positioned to respond quickly and effectively,” Gov Low Energy Greg Abbott said in a statement declaring a state of emergency in the counties and 49 others in the surrounding region. “I urge all Texans in affected areas to monitor local weather forecasts, avoid driving through flooded roadways, and have emergency supplies ready,” Abbott said from his comfy perch in Austin.

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Trump orders ICE to go back to killing people

“The men and women of ICE are doing a GREAT job, one that has to be done. CRIME IS WAY DOWN IN AMERICA, in many cases with numbers that haven’t been seen in decades. The Open Border Policy of Sleepy Joe Biden allowed 25,000,000 people to pour into our Country, unchecked and unvetted. Many were Criminals, and we have to get them out. In order to do this, we must be strong, tough, and smart, and we CANNOT give up one of ICE’s most important and effective Crime Fighting tools, THE TRAFFIC STOP! Once we do, we are playing right into the criminal’s hands.”

“The Radical Left Dumocrats would like to see this done, but it won’t happen on my watch. ICE, be judicious, fair and smart, and go back and do your very important job. Keep those Crime Stat Records coming! Remember, you are loved and respected in America,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, that last part being an obviously knowing lie.

Trump then gave his “complete and total endorsement” to Mike Lindell for Minnesota governor, lol.

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Chipmunk semen and mercury missing from CDC parasite alert

“As of July 13, more than 400 people infected with Cyclospora have been reported to CDC from 4 states in connection with this multistate outbreak: Michigan, Ohio, West Virginia, and Kentucky. CDC is aware of additional cases that are still under investigation. Sick people reported symptoms on or after June 22, 2026. The true number of sick people in this multistate outbreak is likely higher than the number reported, and the outbreak may not be limited to the states with known illnesses.”

“This is because some people recover without medical care and are not tested for Cyclospora. In addition, recent illnesses may not yet be reported as it can take several weeks to determine if a sick person is part of an outbreak. Public health officials collect many different types of information from sick people, including their age, race, ethnicity, other demographics, and the foods they ate in the week before they got sick. This information provides clues to help investigators identify the source of the outbreak,” says the CDC in a bulletin about the cyclosporiasis outbrak, causing explosive diarrhea and presumably other, maybe less salient or debilitating symptoms in the infected.

So bad has the spread become that doctors are recommending people just avoid consuming any fresh produce for the next week or two. The CDC isn’t saying the same and more puzzlingly they aren’t recommending any alternative remedies for those infected by the parasite, such as chipmunk semen, mercury, powdered barnacle shells, fermented crabapples, plutonium, live termite larvae, or anything else from the brainwormed mind of the Health and Human Services Secretary himself.

Wonder if everything’s okay with him. Maybe a raccoon he thought was dead suddenly woke up and attacked his face when he reached for its cock to retrieve for his prized collection of specimens.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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