Category: Uncategorized

Convicted felon President Trump’s incompetence is now responsible for the death of one of nature’s cutest animals, as a baby duckling was found lifeless in the National Mall reflecting pool Sunday following weeks of counterproductive work in a failed attempt to ensure the pool remains free of algae. Per an expert asked by freelancer Rob Crilly, the fowl may have been killed by cyanobacteria.

Citing Tehran’s Tasnim news agency, Al-Jazeera reports that Iran’s delegation have walked out of the talks with convicted felon President Trump’s regime following the Orange God Emperor’s threats to strike Iran if it did not stop Hezbollah from “causing trouble.”

“The US Park Police have arrested multiple individuals for vandalizing our Nations magnificent Reflecting Poll. Who would do such a thing? These are very serious crimes having to do with the destruction of National Monuments. Years in jail! Work will begin immediately on its repair,” posted the Orange God Emperor on Saturday. He’s just hours away from nicknaming one “the Algae-ist.”

“On June 19, 2026, at approximately 20:03 hours, Michael Butler was traveling eastbound in the 21300 block of Rose Hollow Lane in a Tesla Model 3. Butler stated he was operating with an automated driving assistance system engaged at the time of the crash. Butler failed to drive in a single lane, left the roadway, and struck the residence of 1907 Blooming Park Lane. Butler’s Tesla entered through the brick residence, at a high rate of speed, and struck M Avila who was inside the residence. Avila was transported via Life Flight to a local hospital, where she was later pronounced deceased due to the injures she sustained from the crash. There were no signs of intoxication on Butler and he was corporative during the investigation. This case is under the investigation of the Harris County Sheriff’s Office Vehicular Crimes Division,” says a report by the Harris County, Texas Sheriff’s Office about the really fucking shitty way for this woman to die through no fault of her own.

“The advancement of human progress and indeed Western Civilization as a whole sometimes requires unfortunate sacrifices to be borne by those who benefitted from the fruits of past industrialists, ergo Ms Avila and her family should actually be thankful to those of us on the cutting edge of those advancements,” Elon Musk probably said to Tesla’s public relations team.

On a day that Iran re-closed the Strait of Hormuz two people were arrested by National Park Service police for taking paint chips from the National Mall reflecting pool, a contrast necessary to mention only because there can be zero doubt whatsoever that the orders to effect those arrests came from convicted felon President Trump himself for making a mockery of his failed restoration effort.

“Italian Prime Minister Gigiorgia Meloni asked, over and over, for a picture with me during the G-7 meeting in France. She is doing poorly in Italy with her level of popularity, possibly because she turned down the United States of America, a Country that truly loves and protects Italy, when it came to denying Iran from obtaining or developing a Nuclear Weapon (But so did NATO, for that matter!). She wouldn’t even let us use Italy’s landing strips or runways, a great logistical inconvenience, and this despite the fact the US contributes hundreds of Billions of Dollars a year to protect Italy, and other ‘so-called’ NATO Allies. Now, after the United States defeated Iran militarily, she wants to be friends again in order to get her ‘numbers up.’ No thanks!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday morning, for some reason thinking it advisable to continue this shit.

This is not news… https://t.co/1q5sbEsRkf

— Rob Finnerty (@RobFinnertyUSA) June 19, 2026

In a win for “religious liberty,” the Church of Scientology this week successfully got the Clearwater, Florice city council to hand the weird sci-fi cultists control of a block of a public street that had stood in the way of their plans to build a massive new auditorium, the Independent reports.

“For many of us, this isn’t just another building project. It’s something we’ve worked toward for years,” one member of the “Church” told the city council prior to the vote on authorizing them to seize and then bulldoze the stretch of South Garden Avenue for the new L Ron Hubbard auditorium.

L Ron Hubbard, who died in 1986, accidentally bombed Mexico during World War II. He was relieved of command of his ship and then went on to found his own “religion” during the 1950s.

Deputy Defense Secretary Stephen Feinberg this week told members of Congress they need $80 billion to cover ongoing operating costs for the Pentagon after pissing that much away on convicted felon President Trump’s failed war in Iran, the Wall Street Journal reports on money that could’ve gone to Medicaid, Medicare, education, or literally anything else actually useful to Americans.

“Anybody who doesn’t want to Terminate the Filibuster is a FOOL, a very stupid one, at that! The Dumocrats will end it within minutes of taking office, and then rapidly proceed to destroy our Country, adding 2 Radical Left States, 4 Dumocrat Senators, many Congressmen/women, their dream of 21 Supreme Court Justices (Not just 13, an unlucky number!), an impossible to beat number of Electoral College Votes (and that’s the Ballgame!), ‘Popular’ Vote Landslides, and so much else. The Republican Party will never win another Election. I will, sadly, be the last Republican President. Senate Majority Leader John Thune, and the Republican Senate, must not let this ‘carnage’ happen. They will go down on the wrong side of History, as will all Republicans who just stood by and watched. The Republican Party isn’t at stake, our Country is. TERMINATE THE FILIBUSTER, AND IMMEDIATELY APPROVE THE SAVE AMERICA ACT” posted the Orange God Emperor on Thursday, emphasis added on the best part of his panicked meltdown.

In a 9-0 vote, the US Supreme Court on Thursday handed Hunter Biden a big win by limiting the government’s ability to deprive drug users of their Second Amendment rights, CNN reports.

“OIL IS FLOWING, IRAN CAN NEVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON (THE WORLD WILL BE SAFE!), THE STOCK MARKETS ARE ROARING, JOBS ARE AT RECORDS, AND PRICES ARE DROPPING (AFFORDABILITY!). OUR COUNTRY IS STRONG, SAFE, AND RESPECTED LIKE NEVER BEFORE. ‘YOU’RE WELCOME!'” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday.

You’re welcome, America. All of the Fuhrer’s sacrifices and suffering have gifted you with such good fortune and it’s on you to express humble gratitude to him for having such courage.

BREAKING: The terror plot targeting UFC Freedom 250 at the White House was allegedly led by an illegal immigrant, according to DHS.

Officials say Mexican national Abraham Alvarez was arrested by the FBI in Omaha on the day of the event before I.C.E. lodged a detainer against… pic.twitter.com/h5O0cGcNtf

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) June 18, 2026

“Officials say Mexican national Abraham Alvarez was arrested by the FBI in Omaha on the day of the event before ICE lodged a detainer against him. Alvarez came to the United States as a child and was granted deportation relief through DACA after he failed to leave the country when his B2 visa expired in 2001,” says the rest of the BREAKING NEWS tweet after the cutoff.

Yes, the “mastermind” of what would have been the worst terrorist attack on American soil since 9/11 was approximately 1,009 miles away from his target on the day of the attack… but he checks other boxes because he’s technically an illegal immigrant on parole. And a Mexican. He could be a rainbow fentanyl addict who owns a Colin Kaepernick jersey too, you never know.

“At 700 PM CDT (0000 UTC), the center of Tropical Storm Arthur was located near latitude 29.4 North, longitude 94.9 West. Arthur is moving erratically toward the northeast near 8 mph. A northeastward to north-northeastward motion should continue through tonight. On the forecast track, the center of Arthur should move farther inland over southeastern Texas tonight.”

“Maximum sustained winds are now near 40 mph (65 km/h) with higher gusts. Weakening is expected as the center of Arthur moves farther inland, and it could dissipate later tonight or early Thursday. Tropical-storm-force winds extend outward up to 175 miles (280 km) mainly to the southeast of the center. An oil rig well to the southeast of the center recently reported sustained winds of 38 mph (61 km/h) at an elevation of 135 ft (41 m). The estimated minimum central pressure is 1000 mb (29.53 inches). Tropical Storm Arthur is expected to produce rainfall totals of 5 to 10 inches, with isolated higher totals near 20 inches, through early Friday from the Mid and Upper Texas coast east-northeast into southern and central portions of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama, along with western portions of Georgia and the Florida Panhandle. This could generate dangerous to life-threatening flash flooding,” says the National Hurricane Center in advisory statement on the damn early June storm. Fucking 20 inches of rain sounds not good.

“I greatly appreciate Jackson Lahmeyer’s hard work under difficult circumstances — He has always been with me, and I will always be with him. But, when it comes to the current Congressional race for Oklahoma’s 1st Congressional District, I will be supporting America First Patriot, Mark Tedford.”

“Mark is Pro Trump and MAGA all the way! A Proven Leader, Mark has served his Community as a Highly Respected State Legislator and Businessman, prior to running for Congress. Mark Tedford has my Complete and Total Endorsement to be the next Representative from Oklahoma’s 1st District, HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday.

“It is my Great Honor to endorse MAGA Warrior, Jackson Lahmeyer, who is running to represent the fantastic people of Oklahoma’s 1st Congressional District, and has been with me from the very beginning of our Movement to, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Jackson was the Founder of ‘Pastors For Trump,’ a Nationwide Coalition of Faith Leaders committed to advancing our America First agenda, and defending Religious Liberty! A very successful Pastor, Businessman, and” blah blah blah Trump had posted 40 days ago before Lahmeyer reportedly is set to drop out of the race after some “flirty text messages” with his not-wife surfaced thanks to, you guessed it, the Daily Mail.

“So happy for highly respected Congressman Mike Collins. He will win his Senate Race in Georgia against a pathetic failed Dumocrat Senator, Os(jerk!)off, who is a joke in DC. Nobody even knows who he is!!! I’ll be doing Big TRUMP Rallies for Mike in Georgia!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 2:50 AM EDT on Wednesday following his endorsee’s win in the Senate primary.

Not bad for Trump, that “Os(jerk!)off” nickname, though you have to deduct a few points for the stray exclamation point that mars the otherwise solid placement. “Os-jerk-off” or perhaps “Os-jerkoff” would have been better execution but that’s getting close to hairsplitting. The point got across. Good work Donnie. If only literally everything else you did as president had the same quality.