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It’s no wonder Mike Lawler sounds like such a dick here. You would too if a new mega-budget biopic honoring the utterly vile pederast you worship got absolutely fucking destroyed by critics AND this woman who doesn’t want to talk about why the movie might actually be good keeps pestering you, won’t even let you whatabout the Iran war with Obama-Libya-Benghazi the same thing this or that.

Of course a grown adult in a high-stress profession can take some disappointment and a needling some pain in the ass newslady who libs no longer respect as much as they used to before they got to know and dislike her Fig Newton-brained weakling of a husband. It’s those things in quick succession, basically together, like right before Lawler went live he checked the Rotten Tomatoes page on his phone and saw that Michael is up to 33 percent on 79 reviews so it’s pretty much the ballgame, only to have her break his balls over the fat orange rapey idiot in the White House’s monumentally stupid reckless war that she knows full well he doesn’t actually support either then…

Well it’s enough to make a man want to snap and Moonwalk the fuck out of here.

Dem Florida Congresswoman Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick’s chief of staff tells NOTUS that the federal criminal defendant has resigned her seat effective at 1:30 PM on Tuesday, ditching an expected expulsion vote right off the heels of an Ethics Committee hearing that had damned her to a punishment not nearly as bad as the 54 years she faces in the joint. And probably not the Ghislaine Maxwell joint, since Cherfilus-McCormick can’t just tell Todd Blanche that Donald didn’t rape any sex trafficking victims but then he also ignores the part where she said Jeffrey Epstein didn’t rape any of them either which would obviously undermine the credibility of anything she says.

Yeah, Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick doesn’t have that option, so sucks for her.

What sucks for us is that the not-totally-unrealistic 2-for-1 scenario floated by some in which domestic abuser MAGA Congressman Cory Mills is forced out simultaneously the way Tony Gonzales and Eric Swalwell were. It doesn’t mean Mills cannot be forced out at all so much as Republicans are more incentivized to close ranks now that Cherf is headed home to face a jury.

Also lol if you think this seat is getting filled anytime before January 3rd, no way Gov Tiny D’s gonna move on that. Just ask Sheila herself, who won her seat in a special held eight months after Dem Congressman Alcee Hastings died in 2021. If Mills had gone too then it wouldn’t matter because he can’t just hold one special election but not the other… Probably… Maybe shouldn’t totally rule out that little weasel finding some loophole – or just doing that and running out the clock in court.

Three ships slip past U.S. and Iranian blockades in Strait of Hormuz https://t.co/BCyev1VhXS

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) April 21, 2026

“As we regularly do, we monitor and review our network to ensure that routes are meeting profitability targets. Jet fuel prices have doubled since the start of the Iran conflict, affecting some lower profitability routes and flights which now are no longer economically feasible. Schedule adjustments including some frequency reductions are being made in response,” says a press release from Air Canada, listing “Salt Lake City-Toronto: temporary route suspension effective June 30, 2026, with plans to resume in 2027. JFK-Toronto: temporary suspension effective June 1, 2026, with plans to resume Oct 25, 2026 JFK-Montreal: temporary suspension effective June 1, 2026, with plans to resume Oct 25, 2026,” as mothballed along with “Fort McMurray-Vancouver: route suspended effective May 28, 2026. Yellowknife-Toronto: route suspended effective Aug 30, 2026.”

Damn, Trump really stuck it to those Canuckistanis. Should’ve self-annexed when they had the chance instead of – well – suffering economically more or less exactly the same way anyway.

Holy shit. This whole “enhanced Obamacare subsidies” thread faded into the background quite a bit since the Dems’ October-November Kobayashi Maru shutdown and all of convicted felon President Trump’s numerous other malefactions and harms inflicted upon Americans, but goddamn, to see it quantified like this by The CurrentGA/Georgia Recorder is staggering: Data they obtained show there are 550,000 fewer Peach State ACA enrollees in April 2026 than the 1.5 million in January 2025.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do, honestly” Monty Veazey, president of the Georgia Alliance of Community Hospitals, told the Current. “It’s a larger number than I anticipated,” he added of the monstrous enrollment drop that threatens an untold number of rural hospitals across the state.

“Anyone who’s saying that Medicaid cuts is why they’re closing is a liar,” said Curtis, Nebraska MAGAmerican April Roberts last July when the Washington Post asked her to comment on the then-imminent closure of the tiny town’s hospital. Despite being the wrong year, the wrong state, and the wrong specific government healthcare program it’s still a solid enough quote to use here in lieu of any similar ones from the Current’s reporting. Curtis’s hospital is indeed closed. Nobody saved it.

Disquieting harridan Lisa McClain already stuttered out a “Energy prices aren’t where any of us want them to be, but…” so you know this as good one. The above stream lags the real-time a bit.

Formidable anti-white nationalist group the Southern Poverty Law Center’s CEO Bryan Fair on Tuesday announced that it appears the group is under a federal criminal investigation for using paid confidential informants to gain intel on the Klan and other MAGA hate groups. Fair framed the paid intel efforts – which they no longer practice but want to continue to keep the informants’ identities secret so they don’t face reprisals – as a defensive move so the SPLC could stay ahead of terrorist attacks against them, like a 1983 firebombing by an Idaho-based Neo-Nazi militia called The Order.

Now did any of the intel gathered end up in reports on the Hate Watch list? Hard to see why they would let it go to waste but even if they did, who the fuck cares? There’s no law against paying anyone for information about private organizations and yes there’s exceptions to that general principle, but they won’t apply until the Wall Street Journal starts adding KKK: NYSE $0.53🔺 to their articles. Then maybe the Trump Reich’s investigation into the SPLC will be legitimate.

If any Trump klanboys want to step up and identify what statute SPLC violated then let’s hear it.

“Never allow the Traitor Democrats like Low IQ person Hakeem Jeffries, or Cryin’ Chuck Schumer, or the totally corrupt Fake News Media such as the phony and decaying Wall Street Journal, the Failing New York Times (Subscriptions way down!), or dying ’60 Minutes,’ to demean or criticize Operation Midnight Hammer, which totally obliterated the Nuclear Dust locations to the point where bloodthirsty Iran has been unable to get to it, or dig it out. Space Force has cameras on every inch of the 3 sites that were so brilliantly hit last June!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday after he got done with his overlong and ultimately meaningless on-air call to CNBC.

The message was consistent with his position that the “nuclear dust” no longer exists and/or is otherwise irrecoverable from some sort of hypothetical operation in which US military hazmat crews would be permitted on site to… Why even waste time on this shit it was never going to happen anyway, lol… Anyway the position changed late Monday night after previous yes nuclear dust posts.

Another reversal in the post was the bitching specific to the media as Trump is no longer claiming that “Rumor is that the Failing New York Times and Fake News CNN will be firing the reporters who made up the FAKE stories on the Iran Nuclear sites because they got it so wrong. Lets see what happens?” as he did after his first attack on Iran last summer because neither outlet fired anyone.

There’s also the larger, ongoing reversals over the state of Iran’s nuclear weapons program in general because that changes depending on whatever the fuck he feels like saying about it.

Too bad about the bone spurs though. To think that horrible condition was the only thing holding him back from jumping out of a plane over Ho Chi Mihn City with just an M-16 rifle, an M1911 pistol, and a few grenades, and personally taking out the NVA command like it he was playing Call of Duty: Black Ops on the Xbox 360 and was showing the kids how it’s done… America’s worst defeat could’ve been its greatest victory if it wasn’t for that dickhead doctor stopping Trump from serving.

Ahem. Yes he did say “if I were president,” meaning he would’ve secured the victory that Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon – both of whom were significantly more intelligent, mentally stable, and capable of paying attention than their embarrassment of an eventual successor – could not.

Trump also told CNBC he would’ve won the Iraq War. America did win the Iraq War. Not cleanly, no. Not even close. But to say the US lost it like Vietnam is simply some pretty lazy bullshit.

“I am a lifelong Democrat. I started campaigning for the party’s local candidates as a teenager in Brooklyn, NY, have been a registered Democrat for 67 years, made speeches for John F Kennedy as a college student, and can count on one hand the number of Republicans I’ve ever supported for any office. I still disagree strongly with the GOP on abortion, the separation of church and state, immigration, healthcare and taxes, among other things. Yet I’ve decided to bite the bullet and register as a Republican. The Democratic Party has become the most anti-Israel party in US history.”

“Last week all but seven Senate Democrats voted for an arms embargo against the Jewish state, and an avowed enemy of Israel, Abdul El-Sayed, is gaining ground in the Democratic campaign for US senator from Michigan,” and blah blah blah says Jeffrey Epstein pal Alan Dershowitz in a grating “I didn’t leave the Democrats, the Democrats left me” op-ed the Wall Street Journal printed.

Without anything in the way of context for the statement, Axios’s Barak Ravid reports that US Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman General Dan “Raizin” Caine on Tuesday announced that military forces “are ready to resume major combat operations against Iran in a moment’s notice,” which is probably a sign that neckbearded Vice President JD Vance has blown the peace talks in Pakistan yet again.

You had one job Jaydee. Caine’s announcement could also be a comment of convicted felon President Trump’s post screaming that “Iran has Violated the Cease Fire numerous times!”

On an unrelated note and just because it’s more economical to cram Trump’s Truth Social shit into a single article, the fat bastard also posted “VIRGINIA, VOTE ‘NO’ TO SAVE YOUR COUNTRY!” a message that itself could be worth at least a few thousand “Yes” votes to nuke four of the five currently Republican-held districts to even the score in a gerrymandering war Trump started.

Monday’s National Zero headline “Bearghazi attack leave two US paratroopers wounded in Alaska” was a comical use of the -ghazi suffix which was in no way meant to be construed as a serious invocation of the 2012 terrorist assault on the diplomatic mission in the Libyan city that left four Americans dead, including US Ambassador J Christopher Stevens, and for some fucking reason got blamed on Hillary Clinton. It was a not particularly clever joke and the soldiers reportedly suffered only mild injuries during the unexpected encounter with the angry ursine during training maneuvers.

This headline’s use of “Mexghazi” is 110 percent as serious as Reuters reports that President Claudia Sheinbaum on Monday ordered a probe into a Sunday incident that left two US embassy employees and another two Mexican state officials dead, supposedly in a car crash after a raid on a cartel site in Chihuahua State. That State Department personnel were accompanying local law enforcement on a raid was news to Sheinbaum’s administration… because no American officials informed them.

Sheinbaum requested US Ambassador Ronald Johnson (no relation to the scumbag Republican Wisconsin senator of the same name) to meet with Foreign Minister Roberto Velasco.

The Fake News media received their new marching orders to push this trans propaganda story…

Who writes the script? pic.twitter.com/jOMFejhH2M

— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) April 20, 2026

Following Monday’s 7.5 earthquake off Japan’s northeastern coast – triggering a tsunami that thankfully ended up being pretty weak and low-energy – officials in the very geologically active archipelago issued an advisory warning that the tremor could be a precursor to larger event on the scale of the cataclysmic 2011 quake and tsunami that killed over 20,000 people, NHK reports.

“Operation Midnight Hammer was a complete and total obliteration of the Nuclear Dust sites in Iran, therefore, digging it out will be a long and difficult process. Fake News CNN, and other corrupt Media Networks and Platforms, fail to give our great aviators the credit they deserve – Always trying to demean and belittle – LOSERS!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 11:22 PM on Monday.

Guess that means he’s admitting he was full of shit about the “dust” the whole time.

Rather than political fundraising theatrics by Mace “introduced” ignoring due process, why not notice for a vote? Nancy thinks allegations and accusations is due process and should concern South Carolinians if she was to be considered for Governor. Even though she’s under… https://t.co/6F5CnpeLoI

— Cory Mills (@CoryMillsFL) April 20, 2026

Let go of the bottom. It is an has always been an illusion. It is the surface of a plane that exists neither in the abstract nor the absolute, the objective or the subjective. Of course a jar of peanut butter has a bottom, it would cease to be a jar without it. This morass, this malefaction, this miasma of dysfunction and degeneracy in the Republican Party is neither chunky nor smooth. Nor is it that tasty honey-mixed Skippy flavor. The end will only come when the institutions that house it themselves end along with the government, the nation, humanity, the entire planet. The “bottom” is a temporal and entropic limit of being to the larger structures the party exists within.

Theoretically there is an apex too but lol if you think these fucks are getting there anytime soon.

Binge-drinking employee-fucker Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-Deremer, whose malevolence would have been legend if not for the malevolence of Pete Hegseth, K$H Patel, Kristi Noem, and… well you got the point… Chavez-Deremer will soon be seeing up close how tough the job market is these days, CNN reports. Worth pointing out that there still has yet to be a male member of convicted felon President Trump’s Arkham Asylum of a team to exit so far during his second reich.

Chavez-Deremer reportedly resigned but lol if you think it’s wholly on her terms, so until other information surfaces consider it a firing. Pretty soon the fat bastard will be out of women and will have to start firing the top men that he previously refused to during batshit disgraceful scandals.

Tim Apple is out, John Apple is in. Per a press release from the House that Steve Apple built before he died wishing he’d consulted with a real oncologist and not some quack: “Tim Cook will become executive chairman of Apple’s board of directors and John Ternus, senior vice president of Hardware Engineering, will become Apple’s next chief executive officer effective on September 1, 2026. The transition, which was approved unanimously by the Board of Directors, follows a thoughtful, long-term succession planning process. Cook will continue in his role as CEO through the summer as he works closely with Ternus on a smooth transition. As executive chairman, Cook will assist with certain aspects of the company, including engaging with policymakers around the world.”

Meaning he’ll still show up at the White House with a golden iPhone from time-to-time but also be less-than-committal on advising the Trump boys on how to design, produce, and market their own smartphone. Tim can only debase himself so much and humoring the two failsons is a red line.

👍 https://t.co/RgrcqTHTWp

— Tim Sheehy (@TimSheehyMT) April 20, 2026

Cryptic, eh? Like shouldn’t it be closer to “👊🇺🇸🔥” or similar if Sheepie was REALLY amped by Donald’s screaming fucking meltdown? The thumbs up just seems kind like “Okay, gramps. Sure.”

“The Democrats are doing everything possible to hurt the very strong position we are in with respect to Iran. Despite World War I lasting 4 years, 3 months, and 14 days, World War II lasting 6 years and 1 day, the Korean War lasting 3 years, 1 month, and 2 days, the Vietnam War lasting 19 years, 5 months, and 29 days, and Iraq lasting 8 years, 8 months, and 28 days, they like to say that I promised 6 weeks to defeat Iran, and actually, from the Military standpoint, it was far faster than that, but I’m not going to let them rush the United States into making a Deal that is not as good as it could have been. I read the Fake News saying that I am under ‘pressure’ to make a Deal. THIS IS NOT TRUE! I am under no pressure whatsoever, although, it will all happen, relatively quickly!”

“Time is not my adversary, the only thing that matters is that we finally, after 47 years, straighten out the MESS that other Presidents let happen because they didn’t have the Courage or Foresight to do what had to be done with respect to Iran. We’re in it, and it will be done RIGHT, and we won’t let the Weak and Pathetic Democrats, TRAITORS ALL, who for years have been talking about the Dangers of Iran, and that something has to be done, but now, since I’m the one doing it, belittle the accomplishments of our Military and the Trump Administration. This is being perfectly executed, on the scale of Venezuela, just a bigger, more complex operation. The result will be the same. In my First Term, I built the Greatest Military our Country has ever seen, including adding Space Force. In my Second Term, I am properly and judiciously using our Military to solve problems left to us by others of far less understanding or competence,” posted President Invincible God Titan on Monday.