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Mini-cut of House Republicans bringing back the “if Trump was incriminated by the Epstein files then Biden would’ve released them” line on Thursday (although the first one was the “This is just a distraction from the Senate Dems’ shutdown cave” line). Now, tempting as it is to once again rehash the old “Trump stole classified nuclear secrets and the MAGA propaganda machine said the FBI planted the files, so SURE they’d believe it Merrick Garland said Trump raped teen sex trafficking victims” and call it a wrap, it’s worth noting what makes the deflection suck even worse this time.

First off, the emails dropped on Wednesday by the House Oversight Dems came from Epstein’s estate, not the Justice Department. They were never in government hands until this week. Second, even if they had been collected years ago, what in them is criminally actionable? You can say they definitely could’ve helped damage Trump politically last year, but that’s something for Dem voters to rage at Merrick Garland for not fighting dirtier. And also see above about whether MAGA voters would’ve believed it. Third, Trump is the president now and on Wednesday he tried and failed to strongarm Nancy Mace and Lauren Boebert into backing out of the discharge petition to force a vote to force the DOJ to release the files. That’s the whole fucking reason this “hoax” is still going on.

Trump doesn’t want the files released. He wants this all to go away, probably because they contain evidence that he at the very least knew that his friend was raping and abusing teenage girls. While it takes a lot of words to explain and the whole scandal is a confusing mess, that stark reality is actually pretty simple to understand: Trump was complicit in if not a satisfied customer of a sex trafficking ring and he’s trying to prevent the wider public from gaining that understanding.

Having read through the damning emails released by the House Oversight Dems Clinton impeachment lawyer-turned-anti-MAGA crusader George Conway on Wednesday tweeted that “An important side note about today’s Epstein/Trump revelations. They show that Todd Blanche’s questioning of Ghislaine Maxwell was either (a) completely incompetent; or (b) intentionally crafted not to elicit facts incriminating Trump. Either way, he is not fit to serve as Deputy Attorney General of the United States,” a pretty standard observation from a smart legal mind such as George’s.

Then on Thursday Blanche responded with “George, you’ve never been confused for a trial lawyer, and these kinds of posts explain why. When I interviewed Maxwell, law enforcement didn’t have the materials Epstein’s estate hid for years and only just provided to Congress.”

“Stop talking. It’s unbecoming,” Blanche added at the end because irony’s still dead and only getting deader. What the actual fuck is this guy thinking? He just said a federal prison inmate lied to him and he did not have the contradictory information available at the time but nothing about actually punishing her for having done so. Blanche could do that NOW. He could send Maxwell to ADX Florence with a phone call. She conned him, he admits it in a shitpost reply to Conway, and that’s it.

Inmates at the “Club Fed” women’s federal prison camp in Bryan, Texas are allowed to shop at the commissary once a week and are always sure to stock up on rolls of Scott toilet paper that cost $2.25 each, a resource they zealously guard from others, according to CNN’s sources at the joint.

“You don’t understand the value of toilet paper in prison. It is hoarded. It is hidden from staff,” said Sam Mangel, a former federal prison inmate turned consultant with clients currenty at Bryan. “If you think about it, you can go without shampoo for a day or two. You can’t go without toilet paper.”

However there’s one inmate who does not face the same supply chain issue: Dirty Jeff’s main accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell, who gets as much as she wants for free. This is on top of all her other privileges like her own private cell without the usual three other inmates, private meetings with visitors in the chapel with snacks supplied by prison staff, and extra attention from guards.

At first glance maybe the toilet paper detail isn’t really adding to the picture that previous reporting on Maxwell’s time in Club Fed over the last few months did not. However something sticks out in CNN’s story that wasn’t in the Wall Street Journal, NBC, etc’s previous reporting on the situation, all seemingly sourced from inmates’ spouses or lawyers or maybe rank and file prison staff.

WOW, new signage! pic.twitter.com/W9qEDsjQBe

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) November 13, 2025

Militant Israeli settlers rampaged into a mosque in a West Bank village overnight, gutting it with fire and spraypainting hostile messages on the side of the house of worship, the AP reports.

Since convicted felon President Trump’s ex-bestie Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking ring is back in the headlines here’s another depraved leisure activity that 1990s elites allegedly engaged in: The New York Post reports that prosecutors in Italy are investigating reports that, during the 1992-1996 siege of Bosnia’s capital of Sarajevo, the Serbian militias surrounding the city offered a $90,000 “sniper tourism” package in which the British, French, German, and other foreign patrons could murder the desperate, starving citizens of the ruined city from a safe and comfortable distance, ammo included.

Killing children was prohibited – unless the tourists paid extra – according to investigative reporter Ezio Gavazzeni, who brought the evidence he’s gathered so far to Italian law enforcement. “There were no political or religious motivations. They were rich people who went there for fun and personal satisfaction. We are talking about people who love guns who perhaps go to shooting ranges or on safari in Africa,” said Gavazzeni, adding that he’d already uncovered the identities of some of the Italians involved and that prosecutors in Milan are going to be inviting them in to chat soon.

In totally unrelated news, Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner’s Saudi-funded “investment group” is working on a deal with the government of Serbian President Aleksandar Vucic to build a $500 million luxury hotel and residential complex in the capital city of Belgrade at the site of the former Yugoslav Defense Ministry headquarters – which had been destroyed by a NATO airstrike in 1999. Vucic served as information minister under war criminal dictator Slobodan Milosevic, whose regime had supported the Bosnian Serb militias’ inhuman savagery in Sarajevo and elsewhere in the Balkans.

Sure sounds more lucrative for Vucic than selling and conducting $90,000+ murder safari packages.

A far right PR firm called “Renegade DC” held a “Toast to the Troops” event headlined by disgraced Republican former Congressman George Santos and other famous con artist Anna Delvey – who was supposed to have been deported a few years ago but who the hell knows – at an Irish pub in the District on Tuesday, the Washington Post reports because why the hell not remake VH1’s The Surreal Life. Hell that’s basically what DC is nowadays anyway with former reality show stars, TV personalities, and washed-up celebs like Donald Trump, Sean Duffy, Dr Oz, Robert F Kennedy Jr, and Pete Hegseth running the government of the United States of America.

Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson on Wednesday told reporters the bill to compel the DOJ to release all the Epstein files will hit the floor next week, something Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman observed “could wait until after Thanksgiving but the leadership seems to want to move past this.”

Again, this could’ve been over with months ago and NOW they want it over and done with.

At some point this is becoming less of a “Hahaha Japanese bears are rising up against humans” and more like a “seriously what the fuck is going on over there” kind of thing as during a nationwide rampage that has left at least 12 dead and roughly 100 injured this year that has now required the military to be deployed, an airport in Iwate Prefecture halted all flights an hour and half on Wednesday as a bear entered the grounds and was spotted near the tarmac, NHK reports.

Arizona Dem Congresswoman Adelita Grijalva has been officially sworn in. Discharge petition incoming.

Asked by CNN’s Manu Raju on Wednesday if she’s going to cave to convicted felon President Trump’s pressure and pull her name from the Epstein files discharge petition, 37 year-old grandma Congresswoman Lauren Boebert said simply “No” as the precious few minutes left ticked away.

Meanwhile Nebraska Republican Don Bacon told MSNBC’s Katy Tur he’s going to be a yes on the vote after the discharge petition is effected, but it was not clear if that also meant he would sign the discharge petition because if he could just go ahead and do that now this can all be over with…

Also he’s a fucking asshole because this all could’ve been over with two months ago if he’d signed.

“Due to ongoing global urbanization, some animals have settled in urban environments and rely increasingly on anthropogenic resources. One such urban adapter is the European herring gull, Larus argentatus, whose presence in towns has led to conflict with humans. Previous research has found gulls perceive men’s shouting as a threat. We conducted a playback experiment on wild urban herring gulls in a foraging context to determine whether gulls perceive the difference between men shouting versus speaking the same words at the same volume, and whether those stimuli represented the same level of threat. Gulls reacted similarly to men shouting and speaking, as they flinched at the playback, exhibited vigilance, pecked less at the human food source and left the apparatus sooner than when exposed to robin song,” says the abstract to groundbreaking new research helmed by Dr Neeltje Boogert of the University of Exeter’s Cornwall, England campus.

“However, gulls differentiated between the acoustic properties of men’s vocalizations, as they flew away from men shouting but walked away from men speaking. When attempting to deter gulls from exploiting anthropogenic resources, talking might stop them from foraging, but shouting is more effective at making them flee,” the abstract continued. It’s not clear if the team is planning a follow-up study to see if a 9mm round to the seagull’s head is more effective than yelling at them.

“The Democrats are trying to bring up the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax again because they’ll do anything at all to deflect on how badly they’ve done on the Shutdown, and so many other subjects. Only a very bad, or stupid, Republican would fall into that trap. The Democrats cost our Country $1.5 Trillion Dollars with their recent antics of viciously closing our Country, while at the same time putting many at risk — and they should pay a fair price. There should be no deflections to Epstein or anything else, and any Republicans involved should be focused only on opening up our Country, and fixing the massive damage caused by the Democrats!” posted Jeff’s buddy on Wednesday. Donald uber alles.

“In other words, the Democrats are using the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax to try and deflect from their massive failures, in particular, their most recent one — THE SHUTDOWN!” the fat bastard later added.

Notice how he didn’t actually say the emails are fake or were generated by AI or something.

Full explainer on the situation: All 213 currently-serving House Democrats have signed onto rogue Kentucky Republican Congressman Thomas Massie’s discharge petition to force a vote to compel the Justice Department to release everything they have on Jeffrey Epstein. Four Republicans signed on: Massie, Crazy Nancy Mace, QAdulteress Marjorie Taylor Greene, and high school dropout Lauren Boebert, which makes 217. Arizona Dem Congresswoman-Elect Adelita Grijalva, who won a special election to succeed her late father Raul back in fucking September, will at 4PM be officially sworn in.

Within an hour she’ll sign the petition and it’ll be submitted to the clerk, Rubicon crossed. Then there’s no backing out from forcing every member of the House on the record of whether the Justice Department should release the Epstein files. Assuming every member who signed the discharge petition votes yes it will pass and then nothing will happen because the Senate won’t take it up. If they somehow do and it gets 60 votes then it still has to be signed into law by convicted felon President Trump, which it won’t be, requiring a veto-proof majority in both chambers.

Maybe don’t bet too much against that, who knows. Just having the vote at all will still be a massive coup for Democrats. Some schoolteacher in rural Missouri with a $13,000 war chest can campaign on saying incumbent Congressman Chester Roy McKlansman voted against releasing the Epstein files if they vote no, risk the wrath of the Orange God Emperor if they vote yes. Which makes it very important for the regime to stop this discharge petition from hitting 218 votes in less than five hours from now and the only way to do that is to put pressure on the four Republicans. Massie’s going to be a no since he literally fucking started the petition. Forget Greene. Mace earlier told CNN’s Manu Raju she’s not backing out but she’s gravely mentally ill and can’t be trusted by either side of this.

The House Oversight Dems “cherrypicked” more emails sent and received by dead sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein on Wednesday, this exchange between Jeff and former Obama White House counsel Kathy Reummler on August 23, 2018 around the time now-former enforcer Michael Cohen pleaded guilty to federal charges related to the Stormy Daniels coverup. First Ruemmler emailed with: “Here’s a story from The New York Times that I thought you’d find interesting: The principled case for impeachment is clear. What’s missing is the courage,” linking to a Bret Stephens column apparently sent when you click on the “Share this story via email” button on the Times website.

“I think [Cohen] makes the argument that it was his, trumps money, making it not illegal. though he also said he only found out afterwards? and the fact according to the indictment was billed as services rendered and grossed up. im sure his [accountant] has flipped anyway. I did talk in detail to [Epstein’s former lawyer Ken] starr yesterday re indictments how trump can make a deal (special counsel). clintons trash can yes starr gave me more. YECHHHH!” Epstein wrote in reply.

“It makes no difference whether it was his money. Issue is failure to disclose. Plus, fact that he has lied his ass off about it makes clear that he knew it was illegal,” Reummler wrote.

“you see i know how dirty donald is. my guess is that non lawyers [New York] biz people have no idea. what it means to have your fixer flip,” Epstein wrote cryptically in the end of the exchange.

Well at least the MAGA kids get something out of this with Reummler evidently being all palsy with this sick fuck just four years after she left the White House on good terms with her boss.

“The Democrats selectively leaked emails to the liberal media to create a fake narrative to smear President Trump. The ‘unnamed victim’ referenced in these emails is the late Virginia Giuffre, who repeatedly said President Trump was not involved in any wrongdoing whatsoever and ‘couldn’t have been friendlier’ to her in their limited interactions. The fact remains that President Trump kicked Jeffrey Epstein out of his club decades ago for being a creep to his female employees, including Giuffre. These stories are nothing more than bad-faith efforts to distract from President Trump’s historic accomplishments, and any American with common sense sees right through this hoax and clear distraction from the government opening back up again,” said White House Press Secretary Krazy Karoline in a statement Wednesday reacting to House Oversight Dems’ release of some pretty freaking damning emails indicating that convicted felon President Trump knew that his best bud was sex trafficking teenage girls. She’s taking the podium in just under two hours so this’ll be fun.

Meanwhile on CNN this morning MAGA Congressman Rob Stutzman lied and said that House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer “has done a very good job handling” the Epstein files shitshow “methodically.” If that were true then Slutzman would be doing a little victory dance to Wolf Blizter like he wanted to (and tried to) instead of being blindsided by these goddamned emails that Comer’s tormentor Ranking Dem Robert Garcia obtained. Comer has fucking sucked at this and if anything Republicans should be screaming at him to resign from the chair over his utter fecklessness in preventing these kinds of massively damaging releases they have to get asked about.

Panamanian officials on Wednesday announced they had seized 13 tons of cocaine bound for the United States that was on a boat they had not exploded prior to the interdiction, CBS News reports.

“A total of 11,562 packages with suspected illegal substance were confiscated in diligence developed by the Drug Prosecutor’s Office with @aeronavalpanama, units to the southwest of San Jose Island, where 10 people of different nationalities were apprehended [rather than summarily executed by a munition fired from a Navy aircraft],” the canal country’s top prosecutor posted.

The Bongos – as in former Gabon First Lady Sylvia Bongo and her son Noureddin Bongo – got 20 years in the clink following their conviction on charges of concealment and embezzlement of public funds, money laundering, criminal association and forgery, which was a W for the Gabonese justice system but an L for the actual justice part since that’s almost certainly 20 years more than they’ll actually spend inside of a prison cell since they fled to the UK in 2023, the AP reports.

During the trial, prosecutors had released pics of two private jets bought with laundered money and listed land holdings including a mansion in London and Morocco. Patriarch and deposed ex-president Ali Bongo for some reason was permitted to leave the country too and now lives in Angola.