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Regime to send “election observers” to California, New Jersey

Scumbag US Attorney General Pam Bondi is expected on Friday to announce that the Trump Regime is deploying federal “election observers” to California and New Jersey to do something something as voters turn out for a key redistricting referendum and gubernatorial election in the two blue states, respectively, the AP reports on what sure as shit sounds like a trial run for 2026 and 2028.

“Transparency at the polls translates into faith in the electoral process, and this Department of Justice is committed to upholding the highest standards of election integrity,” said Bondi.

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New York City to empty out if Mamdani elected: New York Post

A very SHOCKING new survey from “Victory Insights” finds that 26.5 percent of New Yorkers will consider fleeing the city if leftist Dem mayoral nominee Zohran Mamdani’s glide path to Gracie Mansion is not miraculously interrupted somehow, the New York Post reports.

Just to play along, the resultant crash in housing prices would lower the overall cost of living, thereby wildly outstripping Mamdani’s campaign promises. The doom loop would be immediately arrested by a massive influx of newcomers with more modest means which would then re-escalate costs, but not fast enough for Bill Ackman to mount a successful challenge to Mamdani in 2029.

And bagel shops in Sarasota, Florida will still have even more customers complaining that the bagels suck, it’s too hot, flood insurance is too expens… Marty, we should’ve moved to the Poconos! My sistah Rachelle showed us that house but you said you didn’t wanna have to shovel the driveway!

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Mike Johnson apparently cancels daily press conference

National Zero had planned to carry Speaker Mike Johnson’s 10:00 AM EDT press conference buuuuuuuuuut maybe he just really doesn’t want to answer any questions about the $230 million payout convicted felon President Trump wants from the DOJ or something so there will be none.

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Inflation hit 3 percent in September

“The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) increased 0.3 percent on a seasonally adjusted basis in September, after rising 0.4 percent in August, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 3.0 percent before seasonal adjustment. Note that September CPI data collection was completed before the lapse in appropriations. The index for gasoline rose 4.1 percent in September and was the largest factor in the all items monthly increase, as the index for energy rose 1.5 percent over the month.”

“The food index increased 0.2 percent over the month as the food at home index rose 0.3 percent and the food away from home index increased 0.1 percent. The index for all items less food and energy rose 0.2 percent in September, after rising 0.3 percent in each of the 2 preceding months.”

“Indexes that increased over the month include shelter, airline fares, recreation, household furnishings and operations, and apparel. The indexes for motor vehicle insurance, used cars and trucks, and communication were among the few major indexes that decreased in September. The all items index rose 3.0 percent for the 12 months ending September, after rising 2.9 percent over the 12 months ending August. The all items less food and energy index also rose 3.0 percent over the last 12 months. The energy index increased 2.8 percent for the 12 months ending September. The food index increased 3.1 percent over the last year,” says the BLS’s monthly CPI report.

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Fat Hitler continues raving like a fucking lunatic over Canada tariffs

“CANADA CHEATED AND GOT CAUGHT!!!They fraudulently took a big buy ad saying that Ronald Reagan did not like Tariffs, when actually he LOVED TARIFFS FOR OUR COUNTRY, AND ITS NATIONAL SECURITY. Canada is trying to illegally influence the United States Supreme Court in one of the most important rulings in the history of our Country. Canada has long cheated on Tariffs, charging our farmers as much as 400 percent. Now they, and other countries, can’t take advantage of the US any longer. Thank you to the Ronald Reagan Foundation for exposing this FRAUD. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” Orange Grandpa posted on his social media site Friday.

It’s so stupid yet requires some explanation.

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Bear breaks into Northern California zoo

In a Facebook post last week, the Sequoia Park Zoo in Eureka, California admitted that their facility isn’t all that secure from bears penetrating the fencing and roaming freely around the facility, though to be fair – and as already spoiled in the headline – the bear was an outside infiltrator.

“Staff conducting the Redwood Sky Walk daily inspection spotted a wild American black bear within the Zoo facility. Emergency procedures were implemented immediately, and the facility deployed a rapid response to assess and resolve the situation. We are grateful to Eureka Police Department and California Department of Fish and Wildlife for their swift response and assistance in creating a calm and safe resolution. This was an exemplary execution of our emergency systems which resulted in the best outcome for everyone involved – including the bear!” Sequoia Park Zoo wrote in the post.

“The wild bear did not appear aggressive and was observed interacting with Tule, Ishŭng, and Kunabulilh through their habitat fencing. At no point did the wild bear enter any animal habitats and, after a brief exploration of the enrichment items around the night house, the bear was safely coaxed back into the woods through a service gate. Overall, he was a very polite visitor. He stayed on the boardwalk path, kept two feet on the ground and didn’t try to climb over the railings! (But seriously, when we say ‘wildlife welcome,’ this isn’t exactly what we have in mind. 😅) The perimeter fencing separating the Zoo from Sequoia Park is intact and secure, and it is currently unknown how the animal gained access to the Zoo. We will continue to monitor the situation,” the post continued.

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“Mr President, we don’t have the time”

New Jersey MAGA Congressman Jeff Van Drew, a traitor who switched from a Democrat to a Republican after convicted felon President Trump’s first impeachment trial, tells Politico he recently warned the fat fuck that the Obamacare situation needs to be fixed immediately and with a clean extension of the subsidies before the next enrollment period begins on November 1st – but the imperative simply wasn’t getting through with the legendarily stubborn and stupid “leader.”

“Can’t we do something better?” Trump asked, per Van Drew, who replied “Mr President, we don’t have the time,” speaking to how long it takes to craft legislation that would actually pass.

A “person familiar with the administration’s thinking” said they “don’t think the president cares to save Obama’s legacy legislation that has proved to be a failure and an ongoing headache for everyone involved,” as if that’s the fucking point. “I do see a scenario where the president sees a pathway for a health care policy bill that could receive some bipartisan support,” the person added, again in a panglossian fugue where there’s a “concept of a plan” let alone an actual, you know, plan.

“Democrats have to be really careful, because they’re going to get exposed on one, how expensive Obamacare is. And two, they were the ones that put that in the Inflation Reduction Act, where the subsidies sunset,” the source continued, as though their Orange God Emperor won last year on voters’ ability to see nuance and complexities of economic policy rather than vinyl campaign signs that said “TRUMP: LOW PRICES – KAMALA: HIGH PRICES” and other gratingly reductive pablum.

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Trump offended by misrepresentation, ends Canada trade talks

“The Ronald Reagan Foundation has just announced that Canada has fraudulently used an advertisement, which is FAKE, featuring Ronald Reagan speaking negatively about Tariffs. The ad was for $75,000,000. They only did this to interfere with the decision of the US Supreme Court, and other courts. TARIFFS ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO THE NATIONAL SECURITY, AND ECONOMY, OF THE USA. Based on their egregious behavior, ALL TRADE NEGOTIATIONS WITH CANADA ARE HEREBY TERMINATED,” posted convicted felon President Trump late Thursday.

It wasn’t even “Canada” that aired the ad, but the government of Ontario.

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Los Supremos reject death row inmate’s plea for firing squad

The US Supreme Court on Thursday rejected an Alabama death row inmate’s plea to be spared the nitrogen gas chamber and be shot to death by a firing squad instead, SCOTUSblog reports.

Anthony Boyd, sentenced to death for his role in the 1993 kidnapping and murder of Gregory Huguley, had pleaded for non-clemency by arguing that executing him by nitrogen hypoxia would violate the Eighth Amendment’s ban on cruel and unusual punishment, something that kind of didn’t work with the court for the previous six condemned inmates who got NITROed. Boyd’s gambit mixed things up by saying he was cool with being killed but only if it was with bullets. Still didn’t work.

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Texas MAGA judge spikes Dr Feelgood’s case vs California redistrict

Not even Texas MAGA federal Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk could make this one work for drug-abusing Congressman Ronny “Dr Feelgood” Jackson: The judge on Thursday tossed Jackson’s lawsuit against California Gov Gavin Newsom over the Prop 50 redistricting plan “failed to show that California’s approval of the [Election Rigging Response Act] will likely cause him to suffer a legally cognizable injury,” and he could not and would not enjoin next month’s special election.

Yes, the far right extremist judge who overturned the FDA’s approval of abortion drug mifepristone, the one who every right wing plaintiff in the country shops for to get a favorable ruling, told Ronny to take a hike and he would not halt California’s retaliatory gerrymandering scheme. He did not however do another proper thing and sentence Jackson to 90 days in an outpatient rehab facility.

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Jack Smith cordially invites himself to testify to Congress publicly

“We have received Chairman Jordan’s October 14, 2025, letter and are aware of Chairman Grassley’s interest in testimony from our client, Jack Smith. Given the many mischaracterizations of Mr Smith’s investigation into President Trump’s alleged mishandling of classified documents and role in attempting to overturn the results of the 2020 election, Mr Smith respectfully requests the opportunity to testify in open hearings before the House and Senate Judiciary Committees.”

“During the investigation of President Trump, Mr Smith steadfastly adhered to established legal standards and Department of Justice guidelines, consistent with his approach throughout his career as a dedicated public servant. He is prepared to answer questions about the Special Counsel’s investigation and prosecution, but requires assurance from the Department of Justice that he will not be punished for doing so. To that end, Mr Smith needs guidance from the Department of Justice regarding federal grand jury secrecy requirements and authorization on the matters he may speak to regarding, among other things, Volume II of the Final Report of the Special Counsel, which is not publicly available. In addition, to provide full and accurate answers to your questions, Mr Smith requires access to the Special Counsel files, which he no longer has the ability to access. With the guidance and access described above, Mr Smith is available to testify in an open hearing at your earliest convenience,” write former Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s lawyers in a letter to Old Man Grassley and spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan’s respective committees.

Watch those two dickheads short-circuit and start complaining that Smith’s trying to “create a media circus” or some horseshit excuse when the guy’s challenging them to man up for everyone to see.

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Comey, James, and Schiff “cases” hit speedbumps

The federal judge overseeing the prosecution of former FBI Director James Comey on Thursday set a November 13th hearing for the defense to argue the legality of idiot Eastern Virginia US Attorney Lindsey Halligan’s appointment, Politico’s Josh Gerstein reports on one speedbump for the regime.

Sources in that office tell ABC News of another, possibly even bigger speedbump in the case against New York Attorney General Letitia James: Prosecutors have gotten some of the basic facts wrong, like the amount of money James has collected in rent for the house she owns in Virginia: $0, except for one check from her tenant niece who sent $1,350 to cover utilities. They also overstated the amount she would have saved with her “mortgage fraud” in the indictment, which claimed it was $17,837 over the life of the loan. It was actually $800, so this “case” is even more doomed.

Then finally in Maryland the speedbump in the not yet an indictment against Dem California Senator Adam Schiff: NBC News reports the investigation “came to a standstill” in recent weeks, with US Attorney Kelly Hayes visiting the Justice Department and asking Trump Offense lawyer Todd Blanche how she should proceed when there’s no evidence that Schiff did anything wrong.

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Regime still not naming Haitian victims of August Florida crash

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“Wienerschnitzel” now offering Twinkie and Ding Dong shakes

A West Coast fast food hot dog chain called “Wienerschnitzel” has decided that the name wasn’t phallic enough on its own and decided to offer customers milkshakes blended with Hostess Twinkies and Ding Dongs, available for $6.19 each at Los Angeles locations Brand Eating reports.

The Wienerschnitzel “Wiener Wagon,” described by the company as a “full-service mobile restaurant serves up all our world-famous flavors. Not to mention enough Der-liciousness to keep any group happy and well fed,” is shaped like a normal food truck, evidently prioritizing function over form.

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White House movie theater room demolished

The White House’s movie theater room, a former cloakroom converted to screen films by the Roosevelt Administration in 1942, was among the historic spaces demolished by convicted felon President Trump to build his ballroom, Deadline reports. But eggs were expensive and Kamala Harris didn’t go on Joe Rogan or Theo Von’s podcast plus she laughed kind of weird.

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Bondi and Blanchey big mad at Newsom

“Anyone who places a bounty – figurative or real – on the head of a federal officer, whether directed by gang leaders or by California state or local officials, will be held accountable. The Department of Justice will not tolerate threats, intimidation, or interference with federal officers. Anyone who assaults, obstructs, or directs others to impede a federal officer carrying out the laws of the United States is committing a serious federal crime and will be investigated and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Federal law enforcement risk their lives every day to protect the American people and uphold statutes passed by Congress. The Department of Justice stands fully behind our officers and will use every lawful tool to protect their safety and ensure they can carry out their duties.”

“To California’s elected leaders: do not weaponize your police forces for politics. Ordering or directing state or local officers to act against federal agents risks violating federal law and endangering public safety. Focus your resources where they belong – on the violent crime, fentanyl, and gang activity plaguing California’s streets. Let there be no mistake: federal law will be enforced, federal authority will be upheld. This Department of Justice is committed to Making America Safe Again,” tweeted the Regime’s DOJ leaders crying about “figurative” bounties on ICE agents.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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