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Orange Overlord wusses out of San Francisco occupation

“The Federal Government was preparing to ‘surge’ San Francisco, California, on Saturday, but friends of mine who live in the area called last night to ask me not to go forward with the surge in that the Mayor, Daniel Lurie, was making substantial progress. I spoke to Mayor Lurie last night and he asked, very nicely, that I give him a chance to see if he can turn it around. I told him I think he is making a mistake, because we can do it much faster, and remove the criminals that the Law does not permit him to remove. I told him, ‘It’s an easier process if we do it, faster, stronger, and safer but, let’s see how you do?’ The people of San Francisco have come together on fighting Crime, especially since we began to take charge of that very nasty subject. Great people like Jensen Huang, Marc Benioff, and others have called saying that the future of San Francisco is great. They want to give it a ‘shot.'”

“Therefore, we will not surge San Francisco on Saturday. Stay tuned!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, minutes after Reuters reported that he had backed down.

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Media banned from view of White House demolition

Camera crews documenting the destruction of the White House’s East Wing were kicked out of the Ellipse on Thursday by Secret Service, CNN’s Jim Sciutto reports on some barn door closing.

Seriously. People already know it’s being completely torn down so what the hell does blocking cameras from recording it do now besides look like an incompetent flex from the regime?

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Virginia Dems moving to kill up to three R congressional districts

Democrats in the Virginia state legislature are beginning a very narrow and complex path to redraw the Old Dominion’s congressional maps to nuke two or three Republican-held congressional districts to retaliate against the already done gerrymandering fuckery in Texas and North Carolina to net Republicans another six seats and another handful in the works, the New York Times reports.

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Orange God Emperor pardons corrupt crypto exec in quid pro quo

Convicted felon President Trump on Thursday pardoned former Changpeng Zhao, founder and former CEO of corrupt crypto trading platform Binance, who had served a four month bid in prison last year, the Wall Street Journal reports. Despite Zhao having already done his time, this is not a harmless post-facto amnesty as there’s absolutely a very corrupt quid pro quo involved.

Zhao, who worked with the Trump family on their crypto scam operation World Liberty Financial and the $TRUMP shitcoin, will per the Journal likely be allowed to bring Binance back to the US market two years after the Biden Administration’s SEC had banned it from operating here for said crimes.

Krazy Korline confirmed the pardon to the Journal, saying that her fat orange boss had “exercised his constitutional authority by issuing a pardon for Mr. Zhao, who was prosecuted by the Biden Administration in their war on cryptocurrency. The Biden Administration’s war on crypto is over.”

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Zohran Mamdani loses out on big endorsement

New York City Dem mayoral nominee Zohran Mamdani is set lose out on a big endorsement from a political powerhouse in Gotham as WNYW reports that none other than Mayor Eric Adams will endorse former Governor Andrew Cuomo in the race to succeed Adams at Gracie Mansion.

The soon-to-be-former-mayor’s double snub of Mamdani and Republican Curtis Sliwa comes months after Adams called Cuomo a “snake” amid what had been a heated four-way until Adams dropped his reelection bid while polling at around 7 percent as an independent candidate.

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White House responds to outrage from cattle ranchers

A White House official on Thursday responded to the ongoing outrage from cattle ranchers over convicted felon President Trump’s stated ambition to reduce prices by importing Argentinian beef, with the official telling Reuters that the US Department of Agriculture is quadrupling the tariff rate quota on Argentinian beef to 80,000 metric tons, which will reduce ranchers’ income.

Thus the administration has addressed their concerns. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

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Report: Trump lawyers may not understand how civil law works

A stunning new report by Bloomberg reveals several troubling indications that, despite ostensibly possessing the credentials and licensing necessary to practice law on behalf of their client, convicted felon President Trump’s legal team may not actually understand how civil litigation works.

In fact saying “new report” may even be underselling the accessibility of the implication as the headline upfront states “Trump Says Murdoch Can’t Prove Epstein Birthday Note Is Real” with the lede making it clear that this was in the context of a court filing in the $10 billion lawsuit the president filed against the nonagenarian media tycoon and his companies after the Wall Street Journal in July reported that Donald had written now-dead sex-trafficker Jeffrey Epstein a birthday card framed by a crude sketch of a young teen girl’s body, later printed in full by the Journal.

Such an assertion made in court speaks to difficulty maintaining the tedious sarcasm here because holy fucking shit even a college dropout understands that the burden of proof is not on the defendant in ANY courtroom ESPECIALLY when it’s unfalsifiable. And even if it was the “can’t prove that it’s real” would still be meaningless because the lawsuit isn’t about the authenticity of the letter but whether the reporters and editors at the Journal had knowingly and maliciously propagated falsehoods about its provenance in their initial story that said the information was secondhand.

And yet Trump lawyer Michael Brito on Monday seriously told the court “On the contrary, the defendants’ reliance on a purported letter released over a month after the complaint was filed proves that defendants did not actually possess, or even review, any purported letter before publishing the false and defamatory article,” in response to Team Murdoch’s motion to dismiss.

It’s not clear when Michael Brito will be appointed US Attorney for the District of Delaware. Or what other district he might be appointed to. There is no “if” in that. He’s got the right stuff for the job.

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MAGA farmer and nonpartisan farmer sound different

Two farmers quoted in separate stories about the outcry in response to convicted felon President Trump’s recent comments about importing cattle from Argentina sound kind of different, indicating some differences in how their political leanings influence the level of emotion in their responses.

“If Trump goes through with what he outlined, I do believe it’s a betrayal of the American rancher. It’s a feeling that you’re selling us out to a foreign competitor,” Illinois cattle farmer and the senior director of programs at nonpartisan organization Farm Action Christian Lovell told CNN. Of course he could’ve been more profane and angry, but the punch wasn’t pulled very much.

Especially in comparison to fourth-generation Nebraska rancher Scott Thomsen, who told ABC News he’s a Trump fan. “We need to reduce imports. We need to grow our herd. We need to grow domestic beef in this country. We have the means to do it, and I think we should not be looking for new markets to bring beef in here,” said Thomsen, evidently afraid of being designated a woke homosexual communist Muslim by his neighbors if he were to express his feelings more honestly.

The bottom line is that the social pressures of political tribalism are an impediment to candor.

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Miami Heat guard, Trailblazers coach arrested in gambling sweep

FBI Director K$H Patel will on Thursday hold a press conference announcing the arrest of Miani Heat guard Terry Rozier, ESPN’s Shams Charania reports and who the hell knows what the opportunity cost for the Bureau was here if this is who they’re going after with what little remains of the manpower and resources that are not already committed to immigration enforcement.

Charania later posted that Portland Trailblazers head coach and former NBA star Chauncey Billips was also arrested, indicating a wide scope of the investigation that may not end with the two.

Legendary gambler Michael Jordan remains at large though it’s unclear if he was implicated.

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Illinois GOP gov candidate’s son, grandkids killed in helicopter crash

Republican Illinois gubernatorial candidate Darren Bailey’s campaign on Thursday announced that his son Zachary, daughter-in-law Kelsey, granddaughter Vada, 12, and grandson Samuel, 7, had been killed in a helicopter crash in Montana on Wednesday evening, KDSK reports. Middle child Finn, 10, was not on board the helicopter for whatever reason, and is safe, per Bailey’s campaign.

All of which is fucking horrible for a kid that age to have to go through, and for Bailey himself, despite being kind of a piece of shit whose previous campaign in 2022 featured some less-than-sensitive comments in the immediate aftermath of a tragedy that left at least one child orphaned and another a paraplegic for life. Nobody deserves this, especially not his grandson.

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Fox News hypes former employee’s new war crimes gig

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Large majority back redistricting plan in California: CBS/YouGov poll

A new CBS News/YouGov survey of California voters finds 62 percent planning to vote yes on Proposition 50, the Golden State’s response to Texas erasing five Democratic congressional districts by wiping out about five Republican districts, to 38 percent of respondents opposed.

Governor Gavin Newsom scored a 53 percent approval rating to 47 percent disapprove, while convicted felon President Trump’s approval stands at 34 percent in the state.

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Cut your energy bills in half with this one weird trick! BIG SAVINGS!

“For all of those people voting in New Jersey and Virginia for Governor, Attorney General, or any other position, please remember this: A REPUBLICAN VOTE MEANS A DRASTIC DROP IN ENERGY PRICES AND ENERGY COSTS, A DROP LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! — A DEMOCRAT VOTE MEANS A DOUBLING, AND EVEN TRIPLING, OF YOUR ENERGY BILLS AND PRICES, TRADITIONALLY THE HIGHEST COST OF AN AMERICAN CITIZEN! So, if you vote Republican, your Energy Costs are going to go down, tremendously! If you vote Democrat, your Energy Costs are going to go ‘through the roof,’ making Energy virtually unaffordable for you and your family to pay. Also, remember, that if you don’t go to the Polls and VOTE, it’s the same thing as voting for a Democrat. SO, GO TO THE POLLS AND CUT YOUR ENERGY COSTS IN HALF!” posted an energy bills expert on Wednesday.

The energy expert shared the secret just over a year after he said “I will cut your energy prices in half within 12 months… Cut them in half within 12 months of taking office. That’s going to bring everything down,” demonstrating his ability to deliver this pitch perfectly to audiences.

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Roger Goodell makes blatantly false statement about Bad Bunny

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell on Wednesday propagated a blatant falsehood in remarks about the league’s choice of Puerto Rican rapper Bad Bunny as the act for the Super Bowl LX halftime show in February. According to Deadline, in defending the league’s pick that caused MAGA weenies to freak out and petition to have some 70-something year-old country star with a racist fanbase replace him – while also planning their own “halftime show” starring Lara Trump, Kid Rock, and probably Nickelback or Limp Bizkit – Goodell said “I’m not sure we’ve ever selected an artist where we didn’t have some blowback or criticism. That’s hard to do when you have literally hundreds of millions of people that are watching. But I feel confident that it’s going to be a great show. He understands the platform that he’s on, and I think it’s going to be an exciting and uniting moment.”

The falsehood was that the NFL never “selected an artist where we didn’t have some “blowback or criticism” for the halftime show. That is a lie, because Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers were the halftime act during Super Bowl XLII. Everyone loves Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. There will never be a more perfect choice for a musical act to perform in the middle of America’s game.

Thus there was no controversy about the choice, two years into Goodell’s commissionership. Now 17 years later there is no real “blowback or criticism” either because the only people complaining about Bad Bunny are complete chodes who are free to watch Lara defile Tom Petty’s legacy and spirit.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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