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Venezuela Fury thinks wedding will be in May or June

Venezuela Fury, 16, daughter of famous UK Traveler boxer Tyson Fury, told fans during an Instagram live AMA on Sunday that she expects her wedding with her boyfriend, 17 year-old Noah Price, also a boxer and a Traveler, to be in May or June, People Magazine reports on the latest Venezuela news.

“I’m trying to get everything booked for may/june time but I’m not sure when it will be,” said Venezuela, whose dad Tyson 37, got married to her mom, Paris, 35, in 2008. They have seven children together and it’s not clear if Venezuela is the oldest but holy shit these people are weird.

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Regime rages over regular expression of capitalist free speech

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Maduro pleads not guilty to aggravated Venezuelanism

Former Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro on Monday pleaded not guilty to the multicount federal indictment charging him with aggravated Venezuelanism, conspiracy to commit Venezuelanism, Venezuelaing in a restricted area, and Venezuelation of justice, all serious federal offenses, CNN reports and they probably have the real charges against Maduro in their article on the proceedings in New York. It was about drug trafficking or Tren de Aragua something.

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Mark Kelly tells Hegseth to go fuck himself, vows to fight demotion

“Over twenty-five years in the US Navy, thirty-nine combat missions, and four missions to space, I risked my life for this country and to defend our Constitution including the First Amendment rights of every American to speak out. I never expected that the President of the United States and the Secretary of Defense would attack me for doing exactly that. My rank and retirement are things that I earned through my service and sacrifice for this country. I got shot at. I missed holidays and birthdays. I commanded a space shuttle mission while my wife Gabby recovered from a gunshot wound to the head – all while proudly wearing the American flag on my shoulder. Generations of service members have made these same patriotic sacrifices for this country, earning the respect, appreciation, and rank they deserve,” says Arizona Dem Senator Mark Kelly in a statement responding to binge-drinking date rapist Secretary of “War” Pete Hegseth’s stupid demotion order.

“Pete Hegseth wants to send the message to every single retired service member that if they say something he or Donald Trump doesn’t like, they will come after them the same way. It’s outrageous and it is wrong. There is nothing more un-American than that. If Pete Hegseth, the most unqualified Secretary of Defense in our country’s history, thinks he can intimidate me with a censure or threats to demote me or prosecute me, he still doesn’t get it. I will fight this with everything I’ve got – not for myself, but to send a message back that Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump don’t get to decide what Americans in this country get to say about their government,” Kelly continued ripping the fallback option that came probably after Pentagon lawyers advised Pete that they had no chance of convicting Kelly in a case the Suckretary had already wrecked even if the charges were actually real.

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Hardcore MAGA incel Colton Moore running to replace QAdulteress

Among the eight – or maybe 15, depending on the source – Republican candidates running in the not-yet-scheduled Georgia 14th Congressional District GOP primary to replace now-former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene is creepy incel state Senator Colton Moore, famous for living in his mom’s basement and getting the shit kicked out of him by state police last year for attempting to disrupt Governor Brian Kemp’s State of the State address, Atlanta News First reports.

Moore, who in 2023 was expelled from the state Senate’s GOP conference thus making him technically an “independent” as far as legislative order is concerned, touts himself as “A Fearless Fighter for Northwest Georgia. A Proven Warrior for President Trump,” on his campaign website and you know he originally had those sentences reversed until some consultant strongly advised him to put the part about the district first. The “About” page is long on shit like “In 2024, I exposed a secret room at Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson Airport packed with illegal aliens, guarded by US military personnel,” and “I serve as President Trump’s floor leader in the Georgia Senate. I’ve battled bloated budgets that pile on debt… and took on Big Pharma to make ivermectin accessible. I even exposed state funds possibly propping up illegal immigration schemes at places like the Hyundai plant” and short on “I enjoy spending weekends with my lovely wife Sarah and our sons, Jefferson and Davis.”

This is because, as mentioned, Moore’s an incel who hasn’t yet found a woman willing to date him, let alone marry him and bear his two sons that he definitely would name Jefferson and Davis.

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Hegseth pussies out of court-martialing Mark Kelly

“Therefore, in response to Senator Mark Kelly’s seditious statements — and his pattern of reckless misconduct — the Department of War is taking administrative action against Captain Mark E Kelly, USN (Ret). The department has initiated retirement grade determination proceedings under 10 USC § 1370(f), with reduction in his retired grade resulting in a corresponding reduction in retired pay.”

“To ensure this action, the Secretary of War has also issued a formal Letter of Censure, which outlines the totality of Captain (for now) Kelly’s reckless misconduct. This Censure is a necessary process step, and will be placed in Captain Kelly’s official and permanent military personnel file,” and blah blah blah Secretary Drunken Date Rape continued announcing his chickenshit off-ramp.

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Cranky slob screaming at MSM for insufficient supplication again

“We have taken in, and will soon be receiving, more than 600 Billion Dollars in Tariffs, but the Fake News Media refuses to talk about it because they hate and disrespect our Country, and want to interfere with the upcoming Tariff decision, one of the most important ever, of the United States Supreme Court. Because of Tariffs, our Country is financially, AND FROM A NATIONAL SECURITY STANDPOINT, FAR STRONGER AND MORE RESPECTED THAN EVER BEFORE,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, set off by God knows what the “Fake News Media” actually said that set him off, but hopefully it was some segment in which the $600 billion was correctly described as the revenue from a tax unlawfully imposed upon American consumers by fiat.

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Tim Walz drops reelection bid

The MAGA propaganda-industrial complex on Monday got the scalp they sought with their Somalian fraud circlejerk as Dem Minnesota Gov Tim Walz announced he’s dropping his bid for a third term.

“I came to the conclusion that I can’t give a political campaign my all. Every minute I spend defending my own political interests would be a minute I can’t spend defending the people of Minnesota against the criminals who prey on our generosity and the cynics who prey on our differences,” said Walz, per the Huffington Post’s Igor Bobic. Walz’s most recent approval rating was dead even at 48 to 48 approve/disapprove in a SurveyUSA test last month which is not even close to the danger zone, especially if “former” crackhead Mike Lindell wins the GOP nomination.

Seems like Tim’s simply tired of this shit and wants to put in a good final year.

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Cuba says at least 32 military officers killed in Caracas raid

At least 32 Cuban military officers were killed in the Saturday US raid on Caracas that ended in the capture of Venezuelan dictator Nicolas Maduro, the AP reports citing a statement from Havana.

“Faithful to their responsibilities for security and defense, our compatriots fulfilled their duty with dignity and heroism and fell after fierce resistance in direct combat against the attackers or as a result of the bombings of the facilities,” the commie regime said in their announcement.

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Seriously and literally shut the hell up, Politico Playbook

“The obvious question is how seriously to take all this talk. The received wisdom during the bluster of Trump 1.0 was to take the president seriously, but not literally – but things have changed somewhat this past year. The bombing strikes on Iran’s nuclear sites in the summer followed by the audacious capture of Maduro on Saturday has confirmed Trump as the most aggressively interventionist US president since George W Bush. And in case you hadn’t noticed, he appears unencumbered by legal and diplomatic norms,” writes Politico Playbook in the Monday morning edition of their all-too-often downright insufferable round-up. They wanted Trump back, they got him, now they can dust off that trusty bromide to make it look like they’re better at scrutinizing a madman’s ravings than you are. “OOOOH LOOK AT HOW PLUGGED IN WE R, U PLEBETARDS.”

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Surprise! Orange Warlord snubbed Machado because she kept Nobel Peace Prize instead of giving it to him: Washington Post

You will not be surprised to learn that White House sources tell the Washington Post that convicted felon President Trump over the weekend publicly declined to back Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado’s nascent bid to hold and run in a new US-backed election in her home country because she did not give her Nobel Peace Prize to him following her win in early October.

“If she had turned it down and said, ‘I can’t accept it because it’s Donald Trump’s,’ she’d be the president of Venezuela today,” said a person “close to the White House” on Machado’s “ultimate sin.”

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Delcy Rodriguez sold Maduro out to Trump regime: report

In secret meetings in freaking Qatar prior to Saturday’s swift US military raid on Caracas, convicted felon President Trump’s minions worked out a deal with Venezuelan officials disloyal to now-ex-dictator Nicolas Maduro – officials including then-VP Delcy Rodriguez and her brother Jorge – to allow the raid to happen and for the more pliant Rodriguez to take over, the Telegraph reports.

So yeah. All of Delcy’s shittalk is just kayfabe and this is why Trump was uninterested in helping Maria Corina Machado take over. Delcy’s just going to kiss Donald’s ass and do whatever he wants.

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Dan Bongino officially returns to civilian podcasting life

Right wing influencer Dan Bongino, a former NYPD officer and Secret Service agent who returned to public service last year as Deputy FBI Director and then found out that said right wing influence can go only so far when on the inside, has officially departed from his post as of Saturday, less than a year into his tenure as second-in-command of the US’s top federal law enforcement agency.

Bongino had reportedly come EXTREMELY close to quitting back in July right after the Justice Department leadership, acting on orders from convicted felon President Trump, had abruptly reversed on their previous pledges to release all the files on their previous investigations into Donald’s ex-bestie Jeffrey Epstein, yet was talked off the ledge and into a more orderly, gradual exit from the post. During that stretch the more pliant Trump ballsucker Andrew Bailey departed his job as Missouri Attorney General to take the completely made-up position of co-Deputy FBI Director.

Presumably Bailey will now serve as the sole Deputy FBI Director going forward. Whether he finds his current job more professionally fulfilling and rewarding than his previous elected leadership position – in which he sued the state of New York at the Supreme Court for interfering in the 2024 election by prosecuting then-former President Trump for interfering in the 2016 election and Starbucks for allegedly harming their customers through a decline in service quality wrought by hiring too many non-white baristas – is unclear, as is how Bongino will address the motivations behind his departure when (not if) he eventually returns to the MAGA propaganda grifter industry.

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Marco says libs too fixated on who runs Venezuela: Live updates

Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Sunday told NBC’s Kristen Welker that “people are fixated” on who’s actually running Venezuela and not enough on whatever the rest of the bullshit he spewed was about, making it plain he’s frustrated at having to answer for his Orange Overlord’s fucking insane rant claiming that the US has effectively colonized the now-leaderless South American state.

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Massive Hot Wheels heist investigated by Washington sheriff

The Grant County, Washington Sheriff’s Office Crime Reduction Team are asking for the public’s help in solving the massive heist of as many as 400 Hot Wheels cars stolen from a storage unit in Lakeview, the Columbia Basin Herald reports. Around half of the stolen miniature vehicles were still in their original packaging, raising the chilling possibility they could be trafficked to buyers on eBay.

The brazen December 27 heist was not the only storage unit collectible crime in the county last week, as on the 31st the renter of a unit in Cascade Valley reported that between 60 and 80 tiny little soldiers and “orcs” used to play the Warhammer tabletop strategy game had been stolen in a burglary. Unclear is if the miniatures were of the original, medieval fantasy-themed Warhammer or the Warhammer 40,000 variant – which is the same thing except it’s like an intergalactic space version where they have spaceships and laser guns – or a mix of miniatures from both sub-brands.

No connection between the heists has been established and it would be surprising if the burglaries were the work of the same individual or crew given the separate, disparate markets of adult collectors of the toy brands: dorks who think the Fast and Furious movies are good and dweebs with mounted magnifying glasses used to painstakingly stroke little dabs of acrylic paint onto tiny merch-armored soldiers using fine brushes made from the tail hairs of a species of weasel native to Siberia.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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