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You know how New York City Dem mayoral nominee Zohran Mamdani is a “radical Islamist. He’s a Jew hater. He’s an antisemite” in the words of angry little gnome Mark Levin, for example?

Some Jews disagree. And, as you can tell by the headline, they’re not the liberal, secular-ish types either. The faction of the very clannish Satmar sect loyal to Grand Rebbe Aaron Teitelbaum (and not his brother Zalmen Leib Teitelbaum… it’s a long story) is arguably the largest organized Jewish voting bloc in Gotham. They are VERY reliable and turn out for who they’re told to turn out for.

And their leadership endorsed Zohran Mamdani, Forward reports on another L for disgraced former Governor Andrew Cuomo, who had lobbied the chieftains for the nod. It’s difficult to quantify how many ballots this is worth because while the number of Satmar in New York City is about 80,000, nobody’s really sure how many are on Team Aaron. The national Jewish political news outlet doesn’t fixate too much on the mathematical significance, possibly because it doesn’t really matter at this point. And that they’re 2-for-2 in picking the winners of the last two open mayoral elections.

Good ol’ Jesus Dork on Sunday told that Fox News blonde the GOP has something BIG in the works for healthcare but that it’s so super secret that he can’t even tell his own members what it is because it would leak right away… Remember this guy’s supposed to be excited to revolutionize American healthcare and should WANT voters to know that they have this fucking AWESOME new plan to fix everything. In fact most people who run for Congress outline these kinds of ambitions in their campaigns and then when they’re already elected they tend to intro aspirational “messaging bills” to check this or that box politically. Johnson doesn’t even want to do that, lol.

Former children’s book author/conspiracy podcaster-turned-FBI Director Kash Patel on Friday fired Steven Palmer, a 27 year-FBI veteran who headed up the Bureau’s aviation unit after it was publicly reported that K$H had used the Bureau’s plane to trvael to Pennsylvania to watch his 26 year-old country musician girlfriend perform at a pro wrestling event, Bloomberg Law reports.

“Palmer’s position included supervising the FBI’s aviation units, but Patel’s flight schedule was readily traceable through online tracking services and he reposted photos of himself with Wilkins at the event on his personal X account,” the legal-focused outlet wrote in the article.

Already the 44th president crushed it with “It is not as if we didn’t see some of this coming. I will admit it is worse than even I expected, but I did warn you all. I did. You can run the tape.”

“And by the way, he warned you too, because he said what he would do. But the fact is there were plenty of people who voted for Trump and Republicans anyway. And it wasn’t because they wanted to give up the right to free speech or see public health systems torn down, but because they were understandably frustrated with inflation and gas prices and the difficulty of affording a home and worries about their children’s future. Now, nine months later, you have got to ask yourself, has any of that gotten better? It sure has gotten better for Trump and his family,” Barry continued.

Quite literally thanking convicted felon President Trump for his Friday Truth Social post saying “I do not want Americans to go hungry… I have instructed our lawyers to ask the Court to clarify how we can legally fund SNAP as soon as possible… If we are given the appropriate legal direction by the Court, it will BE MY HONOR to provide the funding,” Rhode Island federal Judge John J McConnell on Saturday clarified the legality of it and ordered the regime to ensure SNAP goes out.

A Republican Congressman tells Politico how he’s feeling about convicted felon president Trump refusing to lift a finger to raise money for the anti-Prop 50 campaign in California that will wipe out four or five Golden State GOP members. Per usual he’s anonymous for fear of Donald’s wrath.

“They’re at risk in the first place because the White House started this with Texas, and now we’re going to lose some really good members. I’m mystified. I guess we’re kind of an afterthought right now. But we won’t be if we lose the majority because it’ll be all hands on deck to stop his impeachment,” the member said, starkly realistic about how little they matter to their Holy Overlord.

And panglossian only about “stopping” impeachment. They ain’t stopping it if they’re in the minority.

EPIC FAIL! The AP reports Guinea-Bissau President Umaro Sissoco Embalo did the old stiff-arm to a cadre of military officers who attempted to depose him in a coup d’etat this week.

“This sad episode, which involves some general and senior officers of our Armed Forces, jeopardizes the peace and stability so desired for socio-economic development and the attraction of foreign investment,” a statement from the armed forces General Staff reads, memorializing the suckery.

An investigation by a Dallas-area outlet “into Senator John Cornyn’s legislative record and his daughter Haley Cornyn’s lobbying career reveals a pattern of overlap: as Haley’s employers and clients benefit from key federal decisions, her father’s Senate actions often align to advance their interests. The overlap between the two has raised mounting questions about influence peddling, conflicts of interest, allegations of pay-to-play influence peddling, and whether public office is being quietly used to enrich the Cornyn family. Senator John Cornyn has long portrayed himself as a crusader for integrity in Washington, most notably in 2022, when he called for full accountability in the Hunter Biden corruption scandal,” the very plugged-in Texas outlet writes in the lede to their story, provocatively headlined “Does John Cornyn Have His Own ‘Hunter Biden’ Problem?”

“‘There is no way of knowing the entire scope of the investigation, but evidence seems to be mounting that Hunter Biden committed numerous federal crimes, including, but not limited to, tax fraud, money laundering, and foreign-lobbying violations,’ Cornyn said at the time, joining 32 other Senate Republicans. Yet even as Cornyn was publicly demanding accountability for alleged influence-peddling in the Biden family, his own daughter was quietly engaged in a career that raises strikingly similar ethical questions,” the story continues, weaponizing Cornyn’s own words in the tried-and-true “rules for thee, not for me” gold standard of accountability journalism.

Now which dogged, independent, left-coded “.org” site largely by and for Subaru-driving lesbians cranked out this article while Cornyn runs for his fifth term you ask? Funny that because it’s actually the Dallas Express, described by lefty Texas journo Steve Monacelli as “right-wing propaganda under the guise of being non-partisan and objective.” No lesbians, no Subarus, no independence.

“Democrats are no longer pretending. Today, Holder, Obama, and the entire national Democrat apparatus are openly embracing aggressive gerrymandering in blue strongholds like California, Illinois, Maryland and New York using state courts and commissions to push the envelope and tip the balance of power in the US House ahead of 2026. This willingness to redraw maps outside the traditional, census-driven process reveals the Left’s new playbook: permanent redistricting, every cycle, by any means necessary. And unless Republicans are prepared to match their focus and intensity, we risk allowing Democrats to gerrymander their way to a majority – not just once a decade, but year after year. Winning state legislative elections has always been critical to advancing the conservative movement. But this new era imposes an even greater responsibility on our committee. The fight for the future of the US House now hinges on our ability to hold and expand our state legislative majorities every single cycle,” says a memo from the Republican State Leadership Committee, basically the NRCC for state senates and houses, slamming the panic button over the redistricting war their party fucking started because irony’s still dead and will never return.

“US Senator Maria Cantwell (D-Wash), Ranking Member of the Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation, joined Sen Tammy Duckworth (D-Ill), author of the bipartisan Martha Wright-Reed Just and Reasonable Communications Act, in denouncing Federal Communications Commission Chair Brendan Carr’s decision to undermine the 2023 law which would crack down on egregious prison phone rates and make it easier for family members to regularly communicate with incarcerated loved ones, reducing recidivism,” says Cantwell’s office in a press release.

“In a letter to Carr, the senators pointed to his previous vote in favor of adopting the legally-required implementation rules last year—the very rules he is now gutting, writing: ‘As a Commissioner, you voted for the FCC’s 2024 final rule that was adopted on a bipartisan basis, 5-0. Consistent with Congressional intent, the 2024 final rule cut prison phone rates by more than half and banned junk fees charged by providers. As you said at the time, you ‘support[ed] the decision in this proceeding to address the worst abuses and ensure that [incarcerated people’s communications services] rates are just and reasonable… Your claim that the 2024 final rule created ‘unintended consequences’ lacks any support in the record or fact,’ their letter continued. ‘Worse, by repealing the rule and delaying enforcement, your arbitrary and capricious action will inflict irreparable harm on millions of Americans who simply seek to remain in contact with incarcerated loved ones—critical connections that benefit us all by helping to reduce recidivism in a country where approximately 95 percent of all Americans sentenced to Federal and State prison will eventually reenter society.'”

Louisiana State University on Thursday announced Athletic Director Scott Woodward was out, just a day after far right Governor Tom Landry told reporters “Hell, I’ll let Donald Trump select” the next head football coach “before I let” Woodward do it when asked about the $54 million bill to fire coach Brian Kelly after the team went 5-3 in what was supposed to be a big year, CBS reports.

Woodward, it should be noted, had been hired from Texas A&M, where he cost that school $77 million to fire head football coach Jimbo Fisher. LSU will pay $6 million to Woodward to buy him out.

By a mere 15,155 votes, Netherlands fuhrer Geert Wilders’s party came in second place to centrist Rob Jetten’s D66 in this week’s national elections, ending the Reich-y Dutch Freedom Party’s first dibs on forming a coalition in Tulip-Land and priming Jetten for the premiership, AFP reports.

Jetten still has a ways to go with actually forming the coalition – a job Wilders was unable to do so he never ascended to the premiership – but he’s probably got a better chance than Crazy Geert.

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Friday told Fox and Friends that he’s dead set on keeping the House closed until the government reopens one way or another.

Documents unsealed in a Manhattan federal court this week revealed that in 2019, following the indictment of convicted felon President Trump’s best bud Jeffrey Epstein, JP Morgan Chase officials had filed a suspicious activity report with the US Treasury Department flagging over 2,400 transactions between Dirty Jeff and a number of top Wall Street assholes, totaling over $1 billion wired back and forth, resulting in zero indictments for those plutocrats, the New York Times reports.

Among those named in the SAR were Leon Black, the co-founder of private equity firm Apollo Global Management, hedge fund manager Glenn Dubin, Alan “Dersh” Dershowitz, and trusts controlled by Victoria’s Secret founder Leslie Wexner. The activity report itself did not say what JP Morgan found so suspicious about the transactions, so it sure sounds like ass-covering from the House of Dimon.

An Indianapolis grand jury is investigating hardcore MAGA Evangelical Lt Governor Micah Beckwith’s office over allegations that staffers had shared among themselves or even created a deepfake porn video of Republican state Representative Craig Haggard’s wife and – possibly more seriously – that certain cronies had been given no-show patronage jobs in the office, Fox 59 reports.

The station viewed an official document confirming that a grand jury had heard testimony “in the original investigation into the distribution of an intimate image(s) and ghost employment in the office of the Indiana lieutenant governor” in August and then in September, but further specifics would not be available unless and until any indictments are handed down. In response to a request comment about the matter, Beckwith’s office said “Active grand juries are confidential, therefore, the office has no knowledge of any of this,” as though that was the intent of the affiliate’s question.

Of course they fucking know about the grand jury investigation’s existence, it was first reported on in August. Which leaves two possibilities: (1) Team Beckwith’s spokesperson knows that staffers testified and simply lied to the station about it (2) He doesn’t actually know if any staffers testified, which could itself be pretty freaking bad since that could mean some made deals with prosecutors.

Just like a Liberal, If you disagree with MTG now, she accuses you of being paid to do it. Then of course, she calls you sexist, just like a liberal would do too.

It's not that she went out with Democrats on the White House steps with them holding signs behind her calling… https://t.co/6p8QEpjiOr

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) October 31, 2025

“It’s not that she went out with Democrats on the White House steps with them holding signs behind her calling Trump a child rapist No that couldn’t be it. Or she’s constantly on CNN now giving Democrat’s [sic] talking points against Trump, Or completely changing her stance on deportations (it’s on video) and I can go on and on. It’s because you’re all sexist, paid pathetic men who just hate her because she’s a woman,” Señor Turd continued after the cutoff in the embed.

Huh. You know maybe he should’ve just left it alone instead of kind of validating her. It’s not even like she wrote “Catturd is a paid influencer.” She didn’t name anyone in the tweet.

A district attorney’s office in Tennessee on Thursday dropped a felony “Threats of Mass Violence on School Property” charge against 61 year-old retired cop Larry Bushart and released him from jail over a month after he was arrested for posting a verbatim Trump quote “We have to get over it” and “Seems relevant today” in reply to a vigil for then freshly-dead Charlie Kirk, the AP reports.

“Investigators believe Bushart was fully aware of the fear his post would cause and intentionally sought to create hysteria within the community,” Perry County Sheriff Nick Weems told The Tennessean last month justifying holding Bushart with bail set at $2 million. The fact they demanded Bushart delete the reply and then arrested him when he refused might be kind of problematic.

“Very happy to be going home,” Bushart told local station WOPC-FM after his release. “I didn’t seek to be a media sensation, but here we are.” This dude better sue the fuck out of the sheriff and DA.

“BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THE DEMOCRATS HAVE GONE STONE COLD ‘CRAZY,’ THE CHOICE IS CLEAR – INITIATE THE ‘NUCLEAR OPTION,’ GET RID OF THE FILIBUSTER AND, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” screamed convicted felon President Trump on Truth Social on Thursday, after apparently running out of space in his previous post which was just way, way, way too fucking long to paste here, let alone read at this hour when it’s already been a long day of MAGA bullshit.