Categories
Uncategorized

Trump commands businesses to stop reporting earnings quarterly

“Subject to SEC Approval, Companies and Corporations should no longer be forced to ‘Report’ on a quarterly basis (Quarterly Reporting!), but rather to Report on a ‘Six (6) Month Basis.’ This will save money, and allow managers to focus on properly running their companies. Did you ever hear the statement that, ‘China has a 50 to 100 year view on management of a company, whereas we run our companies on a quarterly basis???’ Not good!!!” posted the president whose legendary mastery of capitalism has imbued him with the wisdom to concoct a strategy to lower the frequency with which publicly traded corporations inform investors of the value of their holdings in said corporations and to also extoll the values of the Chinese communist state’s tightly-controlled command economy.

As if to further underscore the validity of that charge, the fat bastard then posted “‘Too Late’ MUST CUT INTEREST RATES, NOW, AND BIGGER THAN HE HAD IN MIND. HOUSING WILL SOAR!!!”

Categories
Uncategorized

Villages MAGA Club co-president brutally assaulted at Charlie Kirk vigil and take a wild guess why it isn’t all over national news

The co-leader of The Villages, Florida “MAGA Club” has been hospitalized and possibly suffered a brain injury after she was shoved to the ground during a Saturday night candlelight vigil for Charlie Kirk by – wait for it – a fellow registered Republican Villager, Villages-News.com reports on a story not exactly tailor-made to fit a “BREAKING: EVEN MORE LEFTIST VIOLENCE” narrative.

Valerie and Tommy Jamieson are the leaders of the Villages MAGA Club and while Tommy was on the stage speaking to the crowd 56 year-old Courtney Beth Anderson approached and shoved Valerie to the pavement, apparently hitting her head. There aren’t any specifics on what, if anything, led up to the assault. Villages-News articles aren’t exactly known for exhaustive detail but it’s also quite likely that it was nothing as Anderson’s prior arrest record in the vast retirement community contains two unspecified public disturbances and more recently leading cops on a car chase that reached speeds of 112 miles an hour. When she was finally stopped she told a state trooper “Actors are allowed to drive like that for a movie and don’t get in trouble because they are rich.”

Actually come to think of it that’s a pretty surefire sign she’s MAGA and this was personal.

Categories
Uncategorized

FBI director tries to save his job the only way he knows how

To be fair, going on Fox and Friends is actually the smart move to try to appeal to the audience of one to not fire him less than 12 hours after the network reported that is pretty much already a done deal. There are worse ways to go about this extremely urgent attempt at damage control.

Categories
Uncategorized

“‘Sissy’ football is bad for America, and bad for the NFL!”

“The NFL has to get rid of that ridiculous looking new Kickoff Rule. How can they make such a big and sweeping change so easily and quickly. It’s at least as dangerous as the ‘normal’ kickoff, and looks like hell. The ball is moving, and the players are not, the exact opposite of what football is all about. ‘Sissy’ football is bad for America, and bad for the NFL! Who comes up with these ridiculous ideas? It’s like wanting to ‘roll back’ the golf ball so it doesn’t go (nearly!) as far. Fortunately, college football will remain the same, hopefully forever!!” posted really manly President Trump on Monday.

Categories
Uncategorized

Orange Slob taking a beating on Latino approval: poll

“Trump’s personal popularity continues to trend downward (from -12 in February, -17 in May, to -20 today). His job approval has followed a similar trajectory (from -11 in February, -18 in May, to -23 today), as has his approval on handling the economy (from -13 in February, -20 in May, to -26 today). Independents, women, and younger voters (ages 18–29) are among the most disapproving blocs – but importantly, men, who were more mixed in February and May, are now clearly souring on Trump as well – most distinctly so on Trump’s economic approval (-10 today)” says a new survey of Latino voters from Somos Votantes. Huh, probably not great for the GOP in 2026.

Categories
Uncategorized

Zulu king challenges woke South African professor to ritual combat

South African Zulu King Misuzulu kaZwelithini on Saturday publicly announced he’s had enough of the fake news from his subject, University of Zuuland Professor Musa Xulu, and challenged the radical left academic to a ritual nonlethal combat to settle the score, the BBC reports.

“We are angry and we will do anything to protect and preserve our cultures,” Misuzulu said to a crowd of thousands gathered in front of the newly-built eMashobeni palace during the opening of the Zulu community’s annual Reed Dance. “It pains me to see another man telling me how to do my job… It is okay if he is against me, but when he insults me, he insults the Zulu nation as well. If his friends are here, go and tell him that there is a fighting ring – if he wants a stick fight because I can take him up,” Misuzulu continued in his tirade against Xulu without specifying the insult.

Xulu tells the BBC he’s pretty sure this is about an interview he gave to local media recently in which he criticized the king for pissing away millions to build a new palace just a few years after $9 million had been spent renovating the Enyokeni palace – where the Reed Dance had been held since 1984.

Categories
Uncategorized

Orange Fuhrer muses about seizing unlimited power again

“The Federal Government, under my auspices as President of the United States of America, has stepped into the complete criminal mess that was Washington, DC, our Nation’s Capital. Because of this, DC has gone from one of the most dangerous and murder ridden cities in the USA, and even around the World, to one of the safest – In just a few weeks. The ‘place’ is absolutely booming, with restaurants, stores, and businesses packed and, for the first time in decades, virtually NO CRIME.”

“It has been a beautiful thing to watch but, now, under pressure from the Radical Left Democrats, Mayor Muriel Bowser, who has presided over this violent criminal takeover of our Capital for years, has informed the Federal Government that the Metropolitan Police Department will no longer cooperate with ICE in removing and relocating dangerous illegal aliens. If I allowed this to happen, CRIME would come roaring back. To the people and businesses of Washington, DC, DON’T WORRY, I AM WITH YOU, AND WON’T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN. I’ll call a National Emergency, and Federalize, if necessary!!! Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 1:08 AM EDT on Monday, neglecting to explain why he would need to declare a national emergency if it’s only a problem in DC. Or why he didn’t show up for the mega-MAGA candlelight vigil for Charlie Kirk at the Kennedy Center on Sunday night.

Categories
Uncategorized

Dem Congressman wants DHS to invent anti-assassination drones

Bronx Dem Congressman Ritchie Torres tells Axios he plans this week to intro a bill directing the Department of Homeland Security to study the feasibility of using drones to prevent assassinations.

“Common sense dictates that drone technology should be harnessed to scan every elevated structure with a line of sight to a target. If drones can enable the early detection and prevention of assassination attempts, why not use them? Better to have vigilant eyes in the sky than to remain blind to would-be assassins,” said Torres, willingly handing the Trump Regime a blueprint for putting lethally-armed UAVs in the sky above public events ready to blast anyone they think is a threat.

Categories
Uncategorized

Utah men arrested for placing bomb under Fox affiliate van

Two Salt Lake City-area men, Adeeb Nasir, 58, and Adil Justice Ahmed Nasir, 31, were arrested Friday and face charges including attempted aggravated arson, threat of terrorism, and possession of weapons of mass destruction, after they for some goddamned reason decided to place an “incendiary device” under the a news van owned by local affiliate Fox 13, CBS News reports.

It’s not clear what, if any, connection there is between the Nasirs’ attempt to blow up a news van and the aftermath of Charlie Kirk’s assassination at Utah Valley University last week.

Categories
Uncategorized

Free speech patriot soars to majestic new heights

Categories
Uncategorized

K$H and Bongino hanging on by a thread at the FBI: Fox News

Even though the headline says “Fox News” this report comes from Jacqui Heinrich, one of the small handful of serious and credible journalists at the 98 percent otherwise bullshit propaganda content mill. Heinrich reports that dipshit FBI Director Kash Patel and his top deputy Dan Bongino fear that their doom is very much imminent as on Monday extremist MAGA asshole former Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey is set to be sworn in to the newly-made-up position of co-Deputy FBI director, which to K$H and Bongino like Bailey being pre-positioned to take over for them.

“The White House, Bondi, Blanche have no confidence in Kash. Pam in particular cannot stand him. Blanche either,” a source, maybe even Bailey himself, told Heinrich, who writes “But allies of President Trump and Patel’s harshest critics have begun to circulate word that contingency plans for Patel’s ouster are forming. They also claim his hopeful successor, Andrew Bailey, made clear that he would not leave his post as Missouri’s AG or abandon his aspirations to run for state governor only to serve as Patel’s number two.” Again, Bailey already left, sooo… Yeah, Kash and Bongino are toast.

Like this article might as well just be reporting that he’s done at the FBI. It even says the regime’s trying to find an “off-ramp” like some ambassadorship. “Sources close to Trump acknowledged the president was not thrilled with some past episodes of Patel’s performance – including a public feud with AG Bondi over the administration’s handling of the Jeffrey Epstein case,” Heinrich writes.

Patel’s performance in the aftermath of Charlie Kirk’s assassination has made things even worse, with one official going so far as to say that “letting Kash talk much could fuck up the prosecution” of leftist-ish assassin Tyler Robinson given the things the FBI director said to the press on Friday.

Categories
Uncategorized

Republican 2026 dropouts currently outpacing pre-2018 exodus

In their Sunday story linked here earlier about Texas Republican Michael McCaul calling it quits, ABC News wrote that the formerly powerful ex-committee chair “joins two other House Republicans who announced their retirement from public office this year: McCaul’s fellow Texan Rep Morgan Luttrell and Rep Don Bacon of Nebraska” which, strictly speaking, is a factually accurate statement.

It also kind of undersells the reality that quite a few more are still getting the eff out of DC – and actually at a slightly faster pace than in 2018. The right way to count this, based on Ballotpedia’s tracker, is to include the number who are running for office back in their home states – which is currently eight gubernatorial hopefuls plus Chip Roy who’s already declared his bid for Texas Attorney General – and exclude the five running for Senate. Then add that philanderer from Tennessee Mark Green who resigned in July and you have 13 who will not going to be showing up for work at the Capitol on January 3, 2027. Really should be 14 since shrill, barbaric monster Elise Stefanik is supposed to have already announced her bid for New York State governor.

At this same point in 2017 a total of 12 Republican House members had announced their intent not to seek reelection or run for the Senate – or had already resigned outright. This preceded an absolute dam burst between October 2017 and January 2018 – followed by a slower trickle that infamously included then-Speaker Paul Ryan, totaling 35 exits ahead of the 116th Congress.

Categories
Uncategorized

“Charlie said some very inflammatory things”: Live update Sunday

Trying to bridge the MAGA outrage over Charlie Kirk’s assassination and the empty paeans to peace, Utah Gov Spencer Cox on Sunday admitted to CNN’s Dana Bash that “Charlie said some very inflammatory things” but then add that “and in some corners of the web that’s all that people have heard.” Hitler’s secretaries also regarded him as a kind and warm boss. Even when they admitted and fully accepted the reality of the horrors of the Holocaust in interviews, his staffers would say that, to them, personally, Hitler was nothing but a sweet, caring uncle figure to them.

“OMG NATIONAL ZERO MUST BE SHUT DOWN AND SPARTAN EXECUTED FOR COMPARING CHARLIE KIRK TO HITLER!!!!111!!!” Fuck off, MAGA trolls. Repeatedly since Wednesday so many non-MAGA journalists and podcasters who had interacted with Kirk personally said he was an unfailingly polite and nice guy too – while being upfront about the very inflammatory shit that Kirk said publicly.

And that Cox is futilely trying to square the circle on here. Who gives a fuck if Kirk occasionally brought positive energy to his roadshow to say shit like that MSNBC host Joy Reid, Michelle Obama, former Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, and Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson “do not have the brain processing power to be taken seriously. You have to go steal a white person’s slot… Very obvious you are not smart enough to be able to get it on your own.”

Categories
Uncategorized

Massachusetts town cancels Latino street festival because MAGA

“The City of Everett has made the difficult decision to cancel this year’s Fiesta Del Rio, originally planned for September 20th. We know how much this event means to our city. It’s a celebration of culture, music, food and togetherness. But with the recent ICE raids in our region, many of our friends and neighbors are feeling fear and uncertainty. We believe it would not be right to hold a celebration at a time when members of our community may not feel safe attending.”

“We remain committed to celebrating our city’s diversity in the future, and we will look for other ways to come together as one community. Thank you for your understanding, and please know our city stands with you,” says an Instagram post from the City of Everett, Massachusetts.

Categories
Uncategorized

Brian Kilmeade apologizes for homeless genocide comment

Complete worm Fox and Friends host Brian Kilmeade on Sunday apologized for his Wednesday morning comment calling for “involuntary lethal injection, or something” for homeless people, adding we should “just kill them” while ranting about urban crime to mostly rural/suburban Fox viewers.

What’s funny/fucked up about this is that the comment – the first half of the above clip – flew under the radar since it was just a few hours before Charlie Kirk was shot dead in Utah – an incident for which the violent rhetoric of the radical left was blamed – and only resurfaced in the news on Saturday thanks to an unknown party who brought it to the attention of clip guy Aaron Rupar. Or Rupar himself. Had that not happened Kilmeade would probably be at home this Sunday morning.

Categories
Uncategorized

Orange Overlord takes credit for secret crime drop in Memphis

“The only reason crime is somewhat down in Memphis is because the FBI, and others in the Federal Government, at my direction, have been working there for 5 months – on the absolutely terrible Crime numbers. Likewise, in Chicago and Los Angeles! But the real work by us has barely begun.”

“That happens after we make the official announcement that WE’RE COMING, and when we do that, as we did in now VERY SAFE WASHINGTON, DC, the no crime ‘miracle’ begins. ONLY I CAN SAVE THEM!!! Thank you for your attention to this matter” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday night, apparently self-justifying not sending the National Guard to Memphis.

Categories
Uncategorized

Louisiana judiciary panel recommends Stolen Valor judge removed

The quite possibly extremely significant sleeper saga of Louisiana Judge Tiffany Foxworth-Roberts and her Stolen Valor reckoning continued this month. Actually it was nine days ago but given that National Zero didn’t see it until Tuesday and then some other stuff happened delaying the properly thorough treatment of this update from WAFB: The Louisiana Judiciary Commission on September 4th recommended to the state Supreme Court that Foxworth-Roberts be removed from the bench for lying about her military record during her 2020 campaign. Foxworth-Roberts had sent out mailers saying shit like that served in Iraq during the first Gulf War while she was still in high school, had retired as a captain when she had never risen above lieutenant, and so on. In a May hearing the judge admitted to the commission she had indeed stole valor during her campaign and apologized.

There was some ambiguity going into the wait for the commission’s recommendation since Foxworth-Roberts was also accused of – though not criminally indicted for – having engaged in some insurance scam over a $19,000 ring she claimed had been stolen out of her car during a campaign stop. The accusation isn’t worth getting into the weeds on and the judge defended herself on it. The expectation in the previous stories on Foxworth-Roberts was that even though the Stolen Valor was the more attention-grabbing side of the investigation into her, that it was just really icing on the cake of more conventional misconduct in her statements to cops after the break-in.

Well holy freaking shit that was wrong. That, per the Advocate, the commission led with “Foxworth-Roberts has gone beyond mere misrepresentations that misled the public: she created a campaign sign falsely stating she was a US Army Captain, she paid for multiple campaign ads that repeated this lie (which also led to endorsements that repeated this lie),” and then some inconsistency in her story about the car break-in seems to indicate that the Stolen Valor is in fact the cake. Legally.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Jon Husted’s wife or someone finally told him to man the fuck up

12 hours ago

Fat president still screaming about “fake news” and shit

14 hours ago

“How to Lose Friends and Antagonize Presidents” by Thom Tillis

15 hours ago

Beaver attacks prompt closure of Maryland state park waterways

19 hours ago

Bunnygate scandal continues to engulf Miller campaign

20 hours ago

Enraged Fuhrer vows “treasonous” leakers being “hunted down”

21 hours ago

Failed casino owner shares business wisdom in Vegas: Live

1 day ago

Jon Husted has no opinion on Max Miller

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Todd and K$H’s Excellent Press Conference

2 days ago

Fox News-brained senior citizen actually constitutionally empowered to follow through on his bullshit rants, doesn’t

2 days ago

Patriot arrested outside of Trump’s California golf course

2 days ago

DCCC adds another 12 seats to target list

2 days ago

Chuck Edwards throws in the towel after Ethics finding

2 days ago

Axios “reality checks” Trump’s “golden age”

2 days ago

Abdul El-Sayed wins Michigan Dem Senate nomination

2 days ago

Stuffed toy bunny hostage situation, other matters, unresolved

2 days ago

Minnesota MAGA Congressman hints Tom Emmer possibly dying

2 days ago

Box-o-Wine brought evidence to White House

3 days ago

Max Miller asks House Ethics to investigate him

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump defense lawyer confirmation hearing

3 days ago

David Ellison bitches about antitrust lawsuits in NYT op-ed

3 days ago

British Neo-Nazi running as Tory in local UK election

3 days ago

Fox News reports Nick Shirley staging dumbassery in Ceuta

3 days ago

“Things aren’t looking good”

3 days ago

Box-o-Wine arrives at White House

3 days ago

Trump considering firing Judge Box-o-Wine over pool case fail

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Pharaoh signs some lame executive order

4 days ago

Surprise! Jim Jordan getting in on New Jersey voter fuckup

4 days ago

Frailty, thy name is Donald

4 days ago

NYC-owned grocery stores might require “library card-esque thing” to enter, which is hypocritical because voter ID blah blah blah

4 days ago

Naoero is the new Nauru

4 days ago

Insecure old loser fails to provide his “REAL Polling Numbers”

4 days ago

Newsmax reports near-dead alcoholic agrees with abusive master

4 days ago

UK gas stations losing £194,000/day to theft since Iran war began

4 days ago

CENTCOM internally crowdsourcing ideas to defeat Iran

4 days ago

Missouri station’s “SHOOTING” placeholder not exciting enough

4 days ago

Blanche orders plug pulled on slush fund

4 days ago

Max Miller refuses to resign and/or drop reelection bid

4 days ago

Jim Jordan wrestles with basic consistency: Sunday AM live

5 days ago

Arkansas state House Republican arrested for domestic battery

5 days ago

Mentally ill president “100 percent disagrees” with crazed alcoholic

6 days ago

Houthi missile threat to critical Saudi oil processing hub “could upend Trump’s midterm message”: Politico on what really matters

6 days ago

Not-Movie Night Friday: The Shadow Over Innsmouth audiobook

6 days ago

Regime admits former Olympian didn’t damage Reflecting Pool

6 days ago

Surprise! President Blood and Soil thrilled by Ceuta rush

6 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Cabinet members deservingly suffer bleak meeting

7 days ago

Floridians advised to prevent leprosy by avoiding wild armadillos

7 days ago

Bernie Moreno taking familial frustrations out on Anthony Fauci

7 days ago

Spanish North African enclave overrun by 60,000 migrants

7 days ago

Orange Baby whines over his betrayal carrying consequences

7 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x