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Bill Barr shows up for Epstein deposition

Former Attorney General Bill Barr, who convicted felon President Trump has threatened with prosecution for whatever the fuck it was, who even remembers anymore, showed up in DC Monday for his deposition the House Oversight investigators in the Jeffrey Epstein probe, CNN reports.

Though himself an extremely unlikely candidate for the “client list,” Barr is situated in the arc of Epstein in the most epic of ways: That his own father hired Dirty Jeff to teach math to girls at an elite private high school in Manhattan in 1970 – not just the obvious of having let the wolf in the henhouse but likely having opened doors to building his operation and building his own luxury henhouse – and then not having done shit to prevent Epstein from dying in a jailhouse under his jurisdiction in 2019, no matter which way it happened. Very full circle, kind of like Barr’s shape.

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Mike Collins lands key endorsement in Georgia GOP primary

After being ignored for about nine months, the mom and stepfather of murder victim Laken Riley are seeking political relevance again, and have endorsed antisemitic MAGA Congressman Mike Collins in the 2026 Senate primary to take on incumbent Dem Jon Ossoff, the New York Post reports.

“A lot of people go to Washington and it changes them. However, in the short time that we have known him, Mike Collins went to Washington and changed it,” said Allyson Riley and John Phillips said of the Congressman whose campaign spelled “Georgia” wrong in the launch ad. “There is simply no one else in this race who deserves to be in the US Senate more than Mike Collins. He is someone who says what he means, means what he says, and actually delivers results that matter.”

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Ride to frontline costs Russian general and arm and a leg

A Russian general is out a pound of flesh – well actually probably more like 60 or 70 pounds – after a Ukrainian strike on a column in the Kursk region left him minus one arm and leg, Reuters reports.

General Esedulla Abachev, deputy commander of the Kremlin’s Northern group of forces, was traveling in a convoy toward the front in the western Russian region Kursk, where the Ukrainians have captured and held onto a good amount of Russian soil -though a pittance relative to the square mileage of Ukrainian territory under Russian occupation – when he was very badly WIA at some point in the last few days. Abachev is a native of Russia’s Dagestan region, whose leader Sergei Melikov posted on Telegram that the general was in a serious but stable condition in “one of the best military medical centres in the country.” Key word there being “in the country” which means they fed him 100 proof vodka – and poured plenty of it on the bonesaw to disinfect it – instead of the lower-quality grog the enlisted guys get before they undergo their amputations.

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Insecure baby continues caterwauling over coverage of his failures

“I am totally convinced that if Russia raised their hands and said, ‘We give up, we concede, we surrender, we will GIVE Ukraine and the great United States of America, the most revered, respected, and powerful of all countries, EVER, Moscow and St. Petersburg, and everything surrounding them for a thousand miles, the Fake News Media and their Democrat Partners would say that this was a bad and humiliating day for Donald J Trump, one of the worst days in the history of our Country.’ But that’s why they are the FAKE NEWS, and the badly failing Radical Left Democrats. Thank you for your attention to this matter!!!” posted a deeply upset convicted felon President Trump on Monday as he continued his lengthy shitposting binge.

“DC gave Fake Crime numbers in order to create a false illusion of safety. This is a very bad and dangerous thing to do, and they are under serious investigation for so doing! Until 4 days ago, Washington, DC, was the most unsafe ‘city’ in the United States, and perhaps the World. Now, in just a short period of time, it is perhaps the safest, and getting better every single hour! People are flocking to DC again, and soon, the beautification will begin!” Trump also posted and again this was about three and a half months after the DOJ issued a press release headlined “US Attorney Ed Martin Jr Credits President Trump’s First 100 Days with 25 percent Drop in DC Violent Crime.”

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Campbell’s Soup x Pabst Blue Ribbon coming to Walmart

“Campbell’s Chunky, known for its hearty, flavor-packed soups, is teaming up with Pabst Blue Ribbon, the American beer brand known for its iconic look and taste. Together, the brands are serving up a new collaboration: two soups that bring together the crave-ability of Chunky and the smooth taste of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Just in time for soup season, the two new varieties will be available exclusively at Walmart starting this month: Campbell’s Chunky x Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer Cheese with Potatoes & Chorizo Soup is packed with savory chorizo sausage and hearty potatoes simmered in creamy cheese infused with Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer flavor. Pair it with a soft pretzel, serve it in a bread bowl, or top it with extra shredded cheese. Campbell’s Chunky x Pabst Blue Ribbon Beef, Bacon & Beer Chili with Beans is the perfect addition to brisk fall days and features seasoned beef, hearty beans and smoky bacon, all infused with Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer flavor. Enjoy it straight from the can, load up a hot dog or drizzle it on top of nachos,” says a press release from Campbell’s after they were evidently turned down by Rolling Rock for a collab.

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DHS accidentally admits Trump has blood on his hands too

They probably should’ve picked a tweet that didn’t say upfront which year this truck driver entered the United States to quote for this rant about Gavin Newsom issuing the guy a commercial driver’s license… A lot of this is pretty fishy and there’s no independent sourcing on how this Collin Rugg wiener knows the guy entered in 2018 or when the CDL was issued, but either way both the first and second Trump Regimes had very ample time to track him down and deport him. They failed.

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Orange Hitler completely loses his shit over 2026 midterms

“I am going to lead a movement to get rid of MAIL-IN BALLOTS, and also, while we’re at it, Highly ‘Inaccurate,’ Very Expensive, and Seriously Controversial VOTING MACHINES, which cost Ten Times more than accurate and sophisticated Watermark Paper, which is faster, and leaves NO DOUBT, at the end of the evening, as to who WON, and who LOST, the Election. We are now the only Country in the World that uses Mail-In Voting. All others gave it up because of the MASSIVE VOTER FRAUD ENCOUNTERED. WE WILL BEGIN THIS EFFORT, WHICH WILL BE STRONGLY OPPOSED BY THE DEMOCRATS BECAUSE THEY CHEAT AT LEVELS NEVER SEEN BEFORE, by signing an EXECUTIVE ORDER to help bring HONESTY to the 2026 Midterm Elections,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, getting a head start on Stop the Steal 3.0 for the big 2026 midterms.

“Remember, the States are merely an ‘agent’ for the Federal Government in counting and tabulating the votes. They must do what the Federal Government, as represented by the President of the United States, tells them, FOR THE GOOD OF OUR COUNTRY, to do,” Trump continued, just making this up as he goes along after his party’s long-held opposition to the federalization of elections.

“With their HORRIBLE Radical Left policies, like Open Borders, Men Playing in Women’s Sports, Transgender and ‘WOKE’ for everyone, and so much more, Democrats are virtually Unelectable without using this completely disproven Mail-In SCAM. ELECTIONS CAN NEVER BE HONEST WITH MAIL IN BALLOTS/VOTING, and everybody, IN PARTICULAR THE DEMOCRATS, KNOWS THIS. I, AND THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, WILL FIGHT LIKE HELL TO BRING HONESTY AND INTEGRITY BACK TO OUR ELECTIONS. THE MAIL-IN BALLOT HOAX, USING VOTING MACHINES THAT ARE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL DISASTER, MUST END, NOW!!! REMEMBER, WITHOUT FAIR AND HONEST ELECTIONS, AND STRONG AND POWERFUL BORDERS, YOU DON’T HAVE EVEN A SEMBLANCE OF A COUNTRY.”

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Sherrod Brown officially launches comeback bid

Reported multiple times already but now it’s officially official for Dem former Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown who tells the AP he’s in it to take on Jaydee’s replacement Senator Jon Husted in next year’s special election as he “just couldn’t stay on the sideline. And I know I can fight back. Nobody in the Senate is speaking out for Ohio workers, nobody. And that’s my job to do. It’s what I’ve done my whole life, and it’s what I’m going to continue to do,” with a campaign focused very heavily on the Big Beautiful piece of shit bill that Husted voted for to fuck over Medicaid recipients.

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Regime ordered LVMPD to release pedo Netanyahu minion: report

Qualifying this upfront: Black Lives Matter activist Shaun King may not be the most reliable of narrators given his record of being squirrely on an array of matters, specifically relating to how he handled the finances of organizations he’s led and been involved with – irrespective of the usual MAGA propaganda depicting him as a terrorist trying to start a race war, etc. So grain of salt here.

But a very, very small one given the rest of the picture around Israeli cyberwarfare chief Tom Artiom Alexandrovich’s August 13th arrest and subsequent return home. On one end the Las Vegas Metro Police Department states very clearly in a press release that Alexandrovich, 38, was among eight arrested on “felony charges of Luring a Child with Computer for Sex Act and were booked into the Henderson Detention Center” in a sting operation conducted jointly with the FBI and Homeland Security Investigations – meaning there was federal involvement even though it was done in the Nevada justice system. On the other, Ynet reports that Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu’s office just straight up lied about what happened, claiming that “A state employee who travelled to the US for professional matters was questioned by American authorities during his stay. The employee, who does not hold a diplomatic visa, was not arrested and returned to Israel as scheduled.” Naturally there was no mention whatsoever of the actual matter the “state employee” was questioned over.

King on his Substack claims Las Vegas area officials “told him the Trump administration personally intervened, at Israel’s request, to override US law enforcement, including their own federal agents involved in the sting, to make sure that Alexandrovich got back to Israel quickly and safely,” and still struggling to find what part of that is not believable given the record of how the Reich has handled other politically-sensitive matters surrounding certain foreign-born child sex predators.

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Florida GOP pulls “Deport Depot” merch

The Florida Republican Party on Saturday pulled from its merch site a new line of gear bearing a logo for “The Deport Depot” and issued a statement apologizing for “mocking the unfortunate plight of undocumented migrants in the United States. We agree with all the criticism this has generated – we have this wrong and we agree that passive or casual cruelty toward migrants needs to be eradicated wherever it exists. We have a responsibility to be aware of and attuned to all racial and cultural sensitivities – and we have not lived up to this responsibility this time. We have taken down the images and we have removed the items in question from sale. They will be recycled.”

Pffftttttt – lol. The Washington Post reports the real reason the merch was taken down was that the Home Depot reached out and asked them to do it. Any legal threat would’ve in all likelihood been toothless given the Florida GOP would’ve had a strong enough claim to the merch being satirical in nature. Instead this was almost definitely about money, like the approximately $1.2 million the hardware retailer gave to Republicans last cycle. Anyone questioning whether the Florida GOP cares about offending people over the internment of migrants should look no further than the “FAFO Alligator Alcatraz” shirts, trucker hats, and other shit currently at the top of the store site’s page.

(Fake statement plagiarized/mad-libbed from 2018 H&M corporate press release apologizing for and announcing they pulled a definitely questionable hoodie saying “Coolest monkey in the jungle.”)

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Nationwide strike erupts in Israel

Israelis demanding the Netanyahu Regime reach a deal with Hamas to free hostages in Gaza attempted completely to shut down the country Sunday in one of the largest and fiercest protests in 22 months of war, the AP reports. The organizers, representing the families of hostages, claimed hundreds of thousands of people took part in the marches.

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You hear that, Chris Murphy? Trump called you UNATTRACTIVE

“The very unattractive (both inside and out!) Senator from Connecticut, Chris Murphy, said ‘Putin got everything that he wanted.’ Actually, ‘nobody got anything,’ too soon, but getting close. Murphy is a lightweight who thinks it made the Russian President look good in coming to America. Actually, it was very hard for President Putin to do so. This war can be ended, NOW, but stupid people like Chris Murphy, John Bolton, and others, make it much harder to do so,” posted a man who wears hundreds of dollars’ worth of Sephora products every single day out of deep insecurity for his appearance.

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Texas oil and gas jobs fell by 1,400 in July

The Texas Oil and Gas Association on Friday released a statement announcing that “data from the Texas Workforce Commission show upstream oil and natural gas employment fell by 1,400 in July compared to June. June’s job loss has been revised to 1,500 – less severe than the previously estimated 2,700. Despite declines over the past two months, year-to-date growth remains positive at 4,300 upstream jobs,” and quoting the trade group’s president Todd Staples spin of the weak 2025 employment growth with “Forecasts for lower prices can slow industry growth plans. With approximately 8 bcf/d of new LNG export capacity under development in Texas and multiple infrastructure projects announced, we are optimistic stable global market conditions will strengthen short-term demand and reinforce our energy workforce.” It’s not clear how much Staples resembles deceased actor Larry Hagman or whether the oil lobby executive wears a ten-gallon hat and drives around in a comically gaudy mid-1980s Cadillac with steer horns affixed to the front of the grille.

Less ambiguous is how it signifies yet another failure by convicted felon President Trump to make good on his campaign promises to supercharge what had already been since 2023 an effectively maximally-optimized fossil fuel industry in the United States. It’s as if he and his fans expected simply saying “DRILL, BABY, DRILL” would lead to both $1.84/gallon gas AND a vast wealth of opportunities for work on extraction projects without the messy reality of producers needing to maintain the current circa $60-$70/barrel price range to remain profitable enough to re-invest.

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First death caused by person identifying as feline recorded in US

A 79 year-old Pennsylvania man in poor health last week became the first known victim of a person identifying as a cat, the Pocono Record reports on an at least partial validation of the 2020s-era Republican assertions of schoolchildren transitioning into felines and clawing at each other.

According to the criminal complaint against 32 year-old Ashley Self, Pennsylvania State Police responded to a call at a home on Parker Mew (lol) in Penn Forest Township, Carbon County, shortly after 9 AM on August 10, finding Kenneth Greenfield on his bed, unresponsive, with a laceration on his left forearm, and his oxygen tank apparatus removed. Greenfield’s son told cops he had picked up Self and driven her to the home earlier that morning for a reason undisclosed in the article.

It does however say that Self was already being sought on a mental health warrant prior to that morning, though not whether the unnamed Junior Greenfield had been aware of her status. Self at some point fell asleep and when she woke up at 8:30 AM began meowing and rubbing up against Junior. At that point he asked her to leave and said he would call the cops if she didn’t, prompting her to strip completely nude and Junior to head to the garage to call a mutual friend to consult about Self’s behavior. It was then that Junior heard his dad yelling from his bedroom. Rushing in, Junior saw Self on top of the old man, attempting to push him down into the bed and “clawing at him like a cat,” according to the affidavit that also mentions Junior describing Self’s “superhuman strength.”

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Jeez, you’d think he was talking about Liza Minnelli here

The Sunday after convicted felon President Trump’s failed meeting with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin is so confusing and diffuse because his minions are just talking bullshit out of the both sides of their mouths, it’s hard to maintain the attention span to conclude anything about where they’re at, other than to say nowhere good. Doesn’t help that they don’t even really know where they’re at but are pretending it’s good. So instead just enjoy this clip of Lindsey Graham gushing over Melania Trump as though she were some fabulous camp icon from when he was first discovering himself.

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Orange Slob rages at media over his weakness against Putin

“It’s incredible how the Fake News violently distorts the TRUTH when it comes to me. There is NOTHING I can say or do that would lead them to write or report honestly about me. I had a great meeting in Alaska on Biden’s stupid War, a war that should have never happened!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday. Then it was “If I got Russia to give up Moscow as part of the Deal, the Fake News, and their PARTNER, the Radical Left Democrats, would say I made a terrible mistake and a very bad deal. That’s why they are the FAKE NEWS! Also, they should talk about the 6 WARS, etc, I JUST STOPPED!!! MAGA” and “BIG PROGRESS ON RUSSIA. STAY TUNED!”

So no, he’s not happy this morning. It may’ve had something to do with the Sunday shows so far.

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Ohio and South Carolina sending troops to Trump’s DC “mission”

MAGA Red States South Carolina and Ohio on Saturday announced they’ll be sending 200 and 150, respectively, of their National Guard troops to stand around in Washington, DC and help legitimize convicted felon President Trump’s moronic militarization of the nation’s capital, the AP reports.

The announcements came just hours after West Virginia Gov Patrick Morrisey sent 400 of the Mountain State’s troops to suffer through the August heat instead of working and living back home.

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Georgia judge forgets the “not” part when reading verdict

The ending of Atlanta man Alton Oliver’s murder trial was almost as fucked up and wacky as the beginning: According to 11Alive in December 2022 off-duty Fulton County Deputy James Thomas Jr was driving in his personal vehicle at 4:30 AM and saw Oliver walking home from work – and promptly propositioned him for sex. Three times. Oliver was not interested, things escalated, words were exchanged, then bullets, and Thomas ended up dead. Oliver was charged with three counts of murder (one for each bullet), aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, first-degree criminal damage to property, and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony.

The trial lasted all of three days and the jurors deliberated for one. Fox 5 Atlanta reports there was a bit of confusion as the verdict was was read by Judge Henry Newkirt, who pronounced the jurors had found Oliver guilty on all six counts. The jurors then politely pointed out to the jurist that he had made a mistake. “Didn’t I say not” Newkirt then said, realizing the mistake as Oliver and his team celebrated his acquittal in the death of the horny scumbag deputy and walked out a free man.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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