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This week’s Economist/YouGov national survey finds that, on the question of “Before investigations into Jeffrey Epstein began, how much do you think Donald Trump knew about sex crimes committed by Epstein against underage girls?” 17 percent of Trump 2024 voters said “A lot” and 39 percent said “Some,” meaning 56 percent of the Orange Slob’s fans admitted that their president knew that a good friend of his was sex trafficking teenage girls before then-US Attorney Alex Acosta, Trump’s future Secretary of Labor, dropped 60 federal felonies against Epstein, letting him plead guilty to some chickenshit state charges in Florida and do about 13 months in a minimum security prison.

🚨 The Minnesota Vikings have replaced two female cheerleaders with two male cheerleaders for the 2025–26 season. pic.twitter.com/lruBvMPYht

— Daily Caller (@DailyCaller) August 12, 2025

A train carrying hazardous materials derailed in Texas on Tuesday, per ABC News, therefore Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy needs to resign immediately. It doesn’t matter what the details are, this is his fault because the railroad, Norfolk Pacific or whatever, was not properly made more competent through meritocracy. The DEI wasn’t purged out and it’s his fault. Fuck Sean Duffy.

“ABC13 has confirmed with multiple sources that House Democrats will return to Texas. Eyewitness News has not confirmed the date, but we do know that Democrats believe they’ve accomplished their mission by killing the first special session and by raising national awareness about the mid-decade redistricting effort,” says the lede to ABC13’s story, copied verbatim to underscore that apparently they’re simply capitulating at this point and not trying to drag this out into December.

Vice President JD Vance’s really SUPER hard hitting interview with stupid Katie Miller got into last month’s trip to Disneyland where he didn’t really sound that sorry for ruining the experience for the families of the regular schmucks of America by getting the rides shut down.

“For the first time in two decades, Taco Bell is expanding the MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST legacy with a bold new flavor: MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA MIDNIGHT. An unexpected purple twist on the iconic tropical lime flavor fans know and love, Taco Bell’s exclusive, first-ever MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST flavor drops nationwide on August 14. As a permanent menu addition, MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA MIDNIGHT is set to unleash the next wave of MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST fandom, driven by the same passion that has defined the phenomenon since 2004,” says a new press release from the Lords of Mexican fast food headlined “THE EPIC MOUNTAIN DEW® BAJA BLAST® LEGACY EXPANDS WITH NEW MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA MIDNIGHT™, ONLY AT TACO BELL.” So epic.

In what looks like a rare correction prepended to their usual bullshit, Fox Business News on Tuesday seemed to try to at least partially walk back the framing of what creepy incel EJ Antoni, Trump’s new Bureau of Labor Statistics chief, said after real economists freaked out in response to Antoni saying that “until it is corrected, the BLS should suspend issuing the monthly job reports but keep publishing the more accurate, though less timely, quarterly data,” as though he said that this week.

“Editor’s Note: This article was updated to clarify that the interview with EJ Antoni was conducted by Fox News Digital on Monday, August 4, 2025, and not during an on-air appearance on Fox Business Network. The story has been corrected to reflect this distinction,” the top of the article now says at the top, emphasis theirs, trying to make it clear this happened before the Orange God Emperor nominated Antoni to pretend to lead the bureau even though they presented it as new on Tuesday. It’s not clear whether “this distinction” actually matters and whether Antoni still wants to do it – hell this might’ve been exactly why Trump hired the rapey-looking skell three days later – but obviously Fox Business felt like they should at least make said dispositive difference clear.

It was already kind of official but now it’s even more official as the Cleveland Plain-Dealer reports that Dem former Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown directly told labor leaders in the Buckeye State that he’s running to take on Jaydee’s replacement Jon Husted in 2026.

If nothing else about the Senate map in 2026 look at the lineup: Dems got Brown in Ohio, Roy Cooper in North Carolina, and a very solid bench in the Michigan D primary. Hopefully Texas shakes out. Meanwhile on Team MAGA Lara Trump, Brian Kemp, and Chris Sununu all passed on empty seats. If nothing else what does that say about how confident they are about winning?

“Jerome ‘Too Late’ Powell must NOW lower the rate. Steve ‘Manouychin’ really gave me a ‘beauty’ when he pushed this loser. The damage he has done by always being Too Late is incalculable. Fortunately, the economy is sooo good that we’ve blown through Powell and the complacent Board.”

“I am, though, considering allowing a major lawsuit against Powell to proceed because of the horrible, and grossly incompetent, job he has done in managing the construction of the Fed Buildings. Three Billion Dollars for a job that should have been a $50 Million Dollar fix up. Not good!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, fat and miserable as his usual state of mind.

Quick question for Trump fans here: If your Lord and Savior is so smart and omniscient then why is he blaming friggin Steve Mnuchin for Jerome Powell? Mnuchin didn’t hire him, Trump did.

Donald then turned his contempt on another member of The Tribe, posting a bunch of lies about the effects of tariffs on the US economy and then “But David Solomon and Goldman Sachs refuse to give credit where credit is due. They made a bad prediction a long time ago on both the Market repercussion and the Tariffs themselves, and they were wrong, just like they are wrong about so much else. I think that David should go out and get himself a new Economist or, maybe, he ought to just focus on being a DJ, and not bother running a major Financial Institution.”

Trolling SO hilariously on Tuesday, convicted felon President Trump posted “GREAT Nominees for the TRUMP/KENNEDY CENTER, whoops, I mean, KENNEDY CENTER, AWARDS. They will be announced Wednesday. Tremendous work is being done, and money being spent, on bringing it back to the absolute TOP LEVEL of luxury, glamour, and entertainment. It had fallen on hard times, physically, BUT WILL SOON BE MAKING A MAJOR COMEBACK!!! President DJT”

“The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) increased 0.2 percent on a seasonally adjusted basis in July, after rising 0.3 percent in June, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 2.7 percent before seasonal adjustment,” says the monthly CPI report a day after convicted felon President Trump nominated some Heritage Foundation fanboy to run the Bureau of Labor statistics.

The Senate Leadership Fund, the top PAC for the establishment wing of the GOP in Congress’s upper chamber, estimates that rescuing Texas “RINO” John Cornhole Cornyn from corrupt Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton, who leads Cornyn by an average of 17 percent in polls of Lone Star State Republican primary voters, would cost them $25 to $70 million and if that doesn’t work then putting Pax over the finish line in the 2026 general election would run from $200 up to $250 million, according to an internal PowerPoint presentation obtained by Punchbowl News.

Yup, they will spend a quarter of a billion to make sure that piece of shit wins. Punchbowl says the establishment GOP have found some hopium in the fact that their aggregate of the polling ran only through the end of June, before shitty country musician state Senator Angela Paxton announced she was divorcing her long-unfaithful husband as if the 2015 indictment, 2023 impeachment, and allegations of all sorts of other crimes, plus the publicly-known fucking around on the side weren’t enough but it’s the divorce that will FINALLY put the nail in the coffin for Kenny Side-Eye.

In a nod to reality the slides acknowledged that 58 percent of Texas “primary voters don’t view Cornyn as conservative,” and thus the “most pressing problem” in the race. “The not great news: this is an expensive state with an early timeline. Resources will need to be committed starting this August,” the presentation continued, emphasis theirs. If they want to hang onto the seat then their focus should be on talking Corny into retiring, not what Punchbowl identifies as “throwing money at the problem.” They’re just going to end up throwing more at it if this primary race keeps going.

Was tempted to just embed the entire 91 minute video of this because even just skimming it you can find lowlight after lowlight after lowlight of California MAGA Congressman Doug LaMalfa’s very bad time at a Monday town hall in his R+22 district. Per Cal Matters, this was the first town hall LaMalfa held in eight years, and he got a voter telling him “If you need help pulling away from everything that’s going on, please, we want to help you,” as in whether he needed help getting out of the MAGA cult and escaping violent Trump fanboys. Another reminded him that “You all left… The Speaker of the House released you guys so you didn’t have to deal with releasing the Epstein files.”

So naturally LaMalfa acted like a condescending, pussy-ass bitch to them back. Of course the explanation’s always going to be “paid agitators getting bussed in, not representative of the majority of the district” blah blah blah which, okay, sure. Say the hecklers were bussed in from San Francisco or Oakland or wherever. Why didn’t LaMalfa’s team make sure at least some seats were filled with reliable supporters? These town hall shitshows have been going on for six months. If the libs were there to make him look bad then why at this point isn’t LaMalfa’s team or the NRCC or whoever taking steps to make sure at least some people are there to help make him look good?

“The US Attorney for the District of Columbia is marking President Donald J Trump’s first 100 days by highlighting a 25 percent drop year-to-date in violent crime across the District, credited in part to the ‘Make DC Safe Again’ initiative and the US Attorney’s partnership with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives and Metropolitan Police Department,” says a DOJ press release.

“According to data provided by the Metropolitan Police Department, total violent crime has declined by 25 percent year-to-date in 2025, with significant decreases in robberies, assaults with a dangerous weapon, and homicides. In March of 2025, US Attorney Edward R Martin Jr launched ‘Make DC Safe Again’, a law enforcement initiative in support of President Trump’s Executive Order to Make DC Safe and Beautiful. Make DC Safe Again aims to crack down on gun violence, prioritize federal firearms violations, pursue tougher penalties for offenses, and seek detention for federal firearms violators,” the press release continued and OH SHIT this is from April 28th back before the narrative changed and the National Guard needed to be deployed to extirpate the homeless.

And before Martin got replaced with Judge Box-o-Wine but that’s got fuck all to do with it.

A new Siena College survey of New York City voters finds socialist Dem mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani with less than majority support at 44 percent against disgraced former Governor Andrew Cuomo’s 25 percent with Republican loser Curtis Sliwa at 12 percent and incumbent idiot Eric Adams at an abysmal 7 percent. Which is funny because the natural answer is for Sliwa and Adams to drop out to consolidate the anti-Mamdani vote and there’s pretty much no way in hell they will.

Incumbent Governor Kathy Hochul leads ghoulish likely Republican nominee Congresswoman Elise Stefanik 45 to 31 percent in the 2026 election. Hochul is lame but looks like Jesus Christ herself on a golden unicorn in comparison to the shrill, hateful monster that is her opponent.

Convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell is permitted to leave the Club Fed in Bryan, Texas for “work assignments” of an unspecified nature, Mueller She Wrote reports on the Epstein accomplice being granted a privilege for well-behaved inmates who aren’t sex offenders.

https://t.co/RRa7N6vAse

— FBI Director Kash Patel (@FBIDirectorKash) August 12, 2025

A swarm of jellyfish, a marine invertebrate literally dumber than a lot of plants, has forced a shutdown of the Gravelines nuclear power plant in northern France after they floated into a canal that draws water from the North Sea to cool the plutonium rods, the Guardian reports.

It’s not the first time this has happened at a nuke plant and probably won’t be the last unless jellyfish are exterminated from the earth’s oceans by an engineered virus or something.