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Comer still dumber than the sow he lost his virginity to in 1989

You haven’t heard much from House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer in a while and if you ever considered his relative silence in the media as possibly a period of introspection and self-improvement to stop saying dumb shit well here he is to prove you wrong as he’s calling for every one of former President Joe Biden’s pardons to be voided. Lucky for him and his party that’s not going to happen since, well, that’d be an incredibly fucking stupid precedent for them to set – and just to merely see 86 year-old Dr Anthony Fauci prosecuted for some not-vert-well-defined offenses that would still have to get past a jury. That sure would suck for Trump’s cronies.

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Dem leads Iowa Senate race 47 to 45 percent: poll

“Josh Turek leads Iowa’s Senate race despite the state’s strong Republican advantage. Today, Turek leads Hinson by 2 points (47 percent to 45 percent) in a highly competitive Senate race despite Iowa’s heavily Republican electorate. Republicans hold a 10-point advantage in voter registration (42 percent Rep to 32 percent Dem), a 9-point advantage on partisan self-ID (37 percent Rep to 28 percent Dem), and this electorate voted for Trump by 9 points (50 percent Trump to 41 percent Harris). However, a generic Republican for Senate leads a generic Democrat by just 2 points (47 percent to 45 percent), and Turek is outperforming both the partisan dynamics and a generic Democrat in his lead over Hinson,” says a Politico/Global Strategy Group poll of the Corn-filled state.

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Fox News reports they got her now

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Heard and McDonald Island’s baby seals clubbed hard by bird flu

“The team has submitted its findings about mortality levels and the virus’s likely pathway to Heard Island to a scientific journal for consideration. Heard Island and McDonald Islands are an Australian external territory located in the Southern Ocean, about 4,000 km SW of mainland Australia. Samples from nine vertebrate species were tested at CSIRO’s Australian Centre for Disease Preparedness, with six species testing positive for the viral strain that has been spreading globally. These included southern elephant seal, king penguin, gentoo penguin, Antarctic fur seal and South Georgia diving petrel. Analysis of drone surveys taken on two voyages in October 2025 and January 2026 reveal very high mortality in southern elephant seal pups and elevated mortality in king and gentoo penguins. Analysis of data collected in October estimated average pup mortality was 76 per cent in the final surveys and as high as 97 per cent in one area. Total pup production was estimated at around 17,000 and island-wide mortality was estimated at around 13,000 pups on Heard Island.”

“By January 2026, widespread elephant seal pup mortality was detected in all surveyed breeding areas, including evidence of mortality at McDonald Island (by drone survey). However, due to the remoteness and protected status, no on-ground sampling was undertaken, meaning laboratory confirmation was not possible,” says a press release from the Australian Antarctic Program.

Definitely the worst thing to happen to the remote and unihabited rocks since convicted felon President Trump imposed a 10 percent tariff on their completely non-existent exports last year.

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President to sue treasonous criminals

“The way the Corrupt and Failing New York Times is covering stories on a very battered and beat up Iran, through FAKE AND MADE UP ‘FACTS’ is, in my opinion, ‘TREASONOUS.’ I will be adding all of their false and ridiculous reporting to my multi Billion Dollar lawsuit against them. They are Criminals!” posted the President of the United States on Sunday. Shouldn’t treason be prosecuted?

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Baby duckling found dead in National Mall reflecting pool

Convicted felon President Trump’s incompetence is now responsible for the death of one of nature’s cutest animals, as a baby duckling was found lifeless in the National Mall reflecting pool Sunday following weeks of counterproductive work in a failed attempt to ensure the pool remains free of algae. Per an expert asked by freelancer Rob Crilly, the fowl may have been killed by cyanobacteria.

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Fat toddler all but admits he’s ordering “Reflecting Poll” arrests

“The US Park Police have arrested multiple individuals for vandalizing our Nations magnificent Reflecting Poll. Who would do such a thing? These are very serious crimes having to do with the destruction of National Monuments. Years in jail! Work will begin immediately on its repair,” posted the Orange God Emperor on Saturday. He’s just hours away from nicknaming one “the Algae-ist.”

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Texas woman killed when self-driving Tesla plows into home

“On June 19, 2026, at approximately 20:03 hours, Michael Butler was traveling eastbound in the 21300 block of Rose Hollow Lane in a Tesla Model 3. Butler stated he was operating with an automated driving assistance system engaged at the time of the crash. Butler failed to drive in a single lane, left the roadway, and struck the residence of 1907 Blooming Park Lane. Butler’s Tesla entered through the brick residence, at a high rate of speed, and struck M Avila who was inside the residence. Avila was transported via Life Flight to a local hospital, where she was later pronounced deceased due to the injures she sustained from the crash. There were no signs of intoxication on Butler and he was corporative during the investigation. This case is under the investigation of the Harris County Sheriff’s Office Vehicular Crimes Division,” says a report by the Harris County, Texas Sheriff’s Office about the really fucking shitty way for this woman to die through no fault of her own.

“The advancement of human progress and indeed Western Civilization as a whole sometimes requires unfortunate sacrifices to be borne by those who benefitted from the fruits of past industrialists, ergo Ms Avila and her family should actually be thankful to those of us on the cutting edge of those advancements,” Elon Musk probably said to Tesla’s public relations team.

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Regime arresting people for taking National Mall pool paint chips

On a day that Iran re-closed the Strait of Hormuz two people were arrested by National Park Service police for taking paint chips from the National Mall reflecting pool, a contrast necessary to mention only because there can be zero doubt whatsoever that the orders to effect those arrests came from convicted felon President Trump himself for making a mockery of his failed restoration effort.

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Orange mental patient doubles down on Italy lie

“Italian Prime Minister Gigiorgia Meloni asked, over and over, for a picture with me during the G-7 meeting in France. She is doing poorly in Italy with her level of popularity, possibly because she turned down the United States of America, a Country that truly loves and protects Italy, when it came to denying Iran from obtaining or developing a Nuclear Weapon (But so did NATO, for that matter!). She wouldn’t even let us use Italy’s landing strips or runways, a great logistical inconvenience, and this despite the fact the US contributes hundreds of Billions of Dollars a year to protect Italy, and other ‘so-called’ NATO Allies. Now, after the United States defeated Iran militarily, she wants to be friends again in order to get her ‘numbers up.’ No thanks!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday morning, for some reason thinking it advisable to continue this shit.

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Scientology seizes control of public street

In a win for “religious liberty,” the Church of Scientology this week successfully got the Clearwater, Florice city council to hand the weird sci-fi cultists control of a block of a public street that had stood in the way of their plans to build a massive new auditorium, the Independent reports.

“For many of us, this isn’t just another building project. It’s something we’ve worked toward for years,” one member of the “Church” told the city council prior to the vote on authorizing them to seize and then bulldoze the stretch of South Garden Avenue for the new L Ron Hubbard auditorium.

L Ron Hubbard, who died in 1986, accidentally bombed Mexico during World War II. He was relieved of command of his ship and then went on to found his own “religion” during the 1950s.

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Hegseth minion tells Congress $80 billion needed to cover Iran war

Deputy Defense Secretary Stephen Feinberg this week told members of Congress they need $80 billion to cover ongoing operating costs for the Pentagon after pissing that much away on convicted felon President Trump’s failed war in Iran, the Wall Street Journal reports on money that could’ve gone to Medicaid, Medicare, education, or literally anything else actually useful to Americans.

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Trump threatens Americans with a good time

“Anybody who doesn’t want to Terminate the Filibuster is a FOOL, a very stupid one, at that! The Dumocrats will end it within minutes of taking office, and then rapidly proceed to destroy our Country, adding 2 Radical Left States, 4 Dumocrat Senators, many Congressmen/women, their dream of 21 Supreme Court Justices (Not just 13, an unlucky number!), an impossible to beat number of Electoral College Votes (and that’s the Ballgame!), ‘Popular’ Vote Landslides, and so much else. The Republican Party will never win another Election. I will, sadly, be the last Republican President. Senate Majority Leader John Thune, and the Republican Senate, must not let this ‘carnage’ happen. They will go down on the wrong side of History, as will all Republicans who just stood by and watched. The Republican Party isn’t at stake, our Country is. TERMINATE THE FILIBUSTER, AND IMMEDIATELY APPROVE THE SAVE AMERICA ACT” posted the Orange God Emperor on Thursday, emphasis added on the best part of his panicked meltdown.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Desperate times call for…

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