Category: Uncategorized

“Iran is doing a very poor job, dishonorable some would say, of allowing Oil to go through the Strait of Hormuz. That is not the agreement we have!” posted a saggy crone with awful hair on Thursday.

Mostly verbatim from MS Now’s Jacqueline Alemany: “Just got off a quick call with President Trump who said he didn’t ‘know anything about’ Third Lady Melania’s statement prior to her on camera appearance Thursday, but that he was in a meeting about the war and couldn’t speak further. ‘She didn’t know him,’ Trump added before hanging up, referring to Epstein.” Sounds pretty guilty.

National Zero will follow up on this story that of course fucking happened during the matinee of the Super Mario Galaxy Movie, which actually wasn’t awful if one keeps expectations low.

In an ongoing imposition estimated to cost the city’s economy at least $355 million in lost productivity – not to mention $44.36 for tickets to a matinee of the Super Mario Galaxy Movie, which reviewers say sucks – New York’s public school system remains closed on Thursday, will also be closed on Friday, and normal weekday output by the city’s homebound workers and bloggers will not resume until Monday, even though the rest of the world doesn’t just fucking stop irrespective of whether there’s a big presentation to win a contract to design a huge resort in Utah, which is SO much more important than cranking out sarcastic blog posts calling the president a criminal tyrant…

National Zero will resume a more typical volume production schedule next week. It’s not clear when there will be sufficient time and bandwidth to print the next article on Thursday afternoon.

There’s nothing like American steel: It has won world wars, bridged turbulent waterways, fed the bottomless appetites of the auto and railroad industries, and formed the backbones of the towers of commerce that loom over its great cities, all forged in the nation’s efficient and productive foundries.

Its proud workers are synonymous with the kind of toughness, grit, and resilience that the loafers-wearing, Starbucks-sipping homos in the Democrat Party left behind with their gender studies DEI bullshit that prizes globalism and offshoring over the forgotten people of Trump country. Steelers fans don’t wear $38.99 bright yellow plastic non-OSHA-graded hard-hat-shaped cosplay gear to tailgates because there was a factory in China who fulfilled the order to make them and stamp the team’s logo on the side. The factory in China fulfilled the order from the franchise’s merchandising department because it’s a natural extension of the aesthetics of blue collar grit appropriated by the team’s fanbase which, when you think about it, are actually pretty much meaningless and the team might could just as easily been named the “Pythons” (Hell, it’d go with the Pirates and Penguins).

It’s in that background noise that those very steelworkers, Steelers fans who have a vague understanding of what a foundry looks like based on the climactic scenes of Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and every other demographic that did their part to spare convicted felon President Trump from dying in prison because eggs were too expensive, that the New York Times reports he’s returning the favor by accepting a donation of $37 million worth of European steel from ArcelorMittal, a Luxembourg-based conglomerate, to build his lavish new White House ballroom. If it gets built, of course, but that’s another story. There’s still an order of $37 million worth of non-Pittsburgh-made girders bound as a gift to him for his exceptional talent at occasionally wearing a hardhat while doing his YMCA circlejerk dance to whip up the nationalist fervor of steelworkers and people who like to think of themselves as kind of like steelworkers through cultural and geographic adjacency.

"The White House on Wednesday touted achieving a ceasefire and said the United States 'exceeded' all military objectives in Iran within the initially projected time frame."https://t.co/5Ti64Ftr6t

— Karoline Leavitt (@PressSec) April 9, 2026

Yup. This is how Karoline Leavitt earns your tax dollars: Posting Breitbart articles that, through careful wordsmithing, move the goalposts backward to a certain yard line so that a touchdown is scored when the team’s actually 4th and 21 and the quarterback is naked from the waist down and screaming at ESPN sideline reporters when he’s supposed to setting the offense up for a snap.

Complete piece of shit Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu must continue facing trial now that there’s a “ceasefire”-ish situation in the fight that he and convicted felon President Trump started with Iran but cannot finish, Reuters reports on something for “Bibi” to look forward to.

“With the lifting of the state of emergency and the return of the judicial system to work, hearings will resume as usual,” a statement from the ​Israeli ​courts said, adding that they would take place ​between Sundays and Wednesdays, just wait until Trump learns the judges’ names.

The California Supreme Court on Wednesday ordered loser MAGA gubernatorial candidate and Riverside County Sheriff Chad Bianco to halt his “investigation” into the November 2025 Prop 50 referendum and to preserve all the ballots the asshole seized in his lame attempt to gain convicted felon President Trump’s endorsement – which he ended up losing to douchebag Limey former Fox News host Steve Hilton anyway – the AP reports. Bianco is “hereby ordered to pause the investigation into the November 2025 special election and preserve all seized items,” the order reads.

It’s not clear why this Nazi hell witch seems all kinds of twisted over the Times report from earlier Wednesday, kind of feels like, well, she’s actually all kinds of twisted about it and that rather than ignoring it she needs to react and thus elevate the salience of an account portraying convicted felon President Trump as plainly worked by Israeli hucksters that everyone else in the room saw through.

“NATO WASN’T THERE WHEN WE NEEDED THEM, AND THEY WON’T BE THERE IF WE NEED THEM AGAIN. REMEMBER GREENLAND, THAT BIG, POORLY RUN, PIECE OF ICE!!!” posted the embodiment of American’s fighting spirit on Wednesday, Glory, glory, hallelujah! Glory, glory, hallelujah!

Back in the real world it appears the Orange God Emperor’s meeting with Mark Rutte went poorly.

“Nalpac is voluntarily recalling DTF Sexual Chocolate it purchased and resold. The products have been found to contain sildenafil and tadalafil. Nalpac is not the manufacturer of this product.”

“Sildenafil and tadalafil are the active ingredients in the FDA-approved prescription drugs Viagra and Cialis, respectively, used to treat erectile dysfunction. FDA approval of Viagra and Cialis is restricted to use under the supervision of a licensed health care professional. These undeclared ingredients could interact with nitrates found in some prescription drugs, such as nitroglycerin, and may lower blood pressure to dangerous levels for those individuals who use prescriptions drugs which contain nitrates. Nalpac has not received any reports of adverse events related to this recall,” says an FDA recall notice posted Tuesday that probably isn’t going to reach the guys who bought male sexual enhancement chocolates. So maybe they gotta just let this one go. Cards gotta fall, fellas.

Honduran-born Army wife Annie Ramos, 22, arrested last week just after she and her husband, 23 year-old Staff Sgt Matthew Blank, had moved into their quarters on Fort Polk in Louisiana, was released from the gulag Tuesday because the Trump Reich cannot take the sustained heat of public scrutiny. This was yet another particularly egregious case as Annie was fucking not even two years old when some shitbag judge had issued a “final order of removal” that obviously she’d had no idea about, they just gotten married last month, and Matthew is to deploy next month.

DHS told the New York Times that Annie had had been arrested “after she attempted to enter a military base. She has no legal status to be in this country and was issued a final order of removal by a judge. This administration is not going to ignore the rule of law,” that last part obviously being a troll of the libs (again). At the same time and just as obvious is that it was not actually that big of a deal if they fucking released her four days later. They pussied out because of the scrutiny.

Keep speaking up when you see someone who did nothing wrong getting interned. It’s that simple.

The Strait of Hormuz is currently about as open for business as the Kennedy Center in DC, which is to say it’s closed due to the fat fuck’s sheer incompetence at pretty much everything. CNN reports that the Iranians are still blockading the waterway because the Israelis have continued bombing Lebanon, a condition of the “two weeks” ceasefire the TACO man claimed in effect on Tuesday.

“Numerous Agreements, Lists, and Letters are being sent out by people that have absolutely nothing to do with the USA / Iran Negotiation, in many cases, they are total Fraudsters, Charlatans, and WORSE. They will be rapidly exposed after our Federal Investigation is completed. There is only one group of meaningful ‘POINTS’ that are acceptable to the United States, and we will be discussing them behind closed doors during these Negotiations. These are the POINTS that are the basis on which we agreed to a CEASEFIRE. It is something that is reasonable, and can easily be dispensed with. It’s very much like Fake News CNN last night, headlining a ‘source’ that had no power or authority to write a Letter claiming great authority,” posted the mental child on Wednesday.

Nothing to see here, just the Vice President of the United States shit-talking our country from a foreign capital, something that was a mortal sin when Bruce Springsteen supposedly did it.

On Wednesday the House Oversight Committee announced that “the Department of Justice has stated Pam Bondi will not appear on April 14 for a deposition since she is no longer Attorney General and was subpoenaed in her capacity as Attorney General. The Committee will contact Pam Bondi’s personal counsel to discuss next steps regarding scheduling her deposition,” which sure sounds like Team Comer’s less than eager to fight her in court to compel her to show up.

It also ignores the fact that the subpoena did not literally say “in her capacity.” Yes, it addressed her as “The Honorable Pamela J Bondi, Attorney General, US Department of Justice,” but she sure as shit is not and never was “honorable” so that was a formality too. Nor did the DOJ offer now-Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche to sub in for Bondi since he’s in “capacity” now.

All this of course underlying the fact that they’re trying to avoid sharing what they know about the most horrific sex trafficking crime in recent if not all of US history. That’s really where we’re at.

A February 11th White House situation room meeting that featured – wait for it – a fucking video presentation by Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu and his team as their pitch on how easy it would be to effect regime change in Iran was all convicted felon President Trump needed to be sold on committing American lives and treasure to the rogue state’s campaign against a regional foe an ocean-plus away from Washington and cause a global-scale fuckup, the New York Times reports in a preview of their Maggie Haberman and Jonathan Swan’s upcoming book, “Regime Change.”

After the Israelis left, some of the president’s top minions were not as impressed. “Sir, this is, in my experience, standard operating procedure for the Israelis. They oversell, and their plans are not always well-developed. They know they need us, and that’s why they’re hard-selling,” said chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Dan Caine. CIA Director John Ratcliffe called the plan “farcical.”

Secretary of State Marco Rubio then jumped in and said the presentation was “bullshit,” the Times’s sequence of the exchange carrying the implication that Trump doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “farcical.” Further down in their recount of the internal deliberations, the Times provides another insight into presidential incapacity with “One person familiar with their interactions noted that Mr Trump had a habit of confusing tactical advice from General Caine with strategic counsel. In practice, that meant the general might warn in one breath about the difficulties of one aspect of the operation, then in the next note that the United States had an essentially unlimited supply of cheap, precision-guided bombs and could strike Iran for weeks once it achieved air superiority.”

Which is like Caine saying it would be very expensive to build a rollercoaster that goes from Miami to San Diego but we have a lot of steel manufacturing capacity, so it is technically possible, and then Trump thinking that Caine had advised him to build the roller Miami-to-San Diego rollercoaster.

In February of last year the CBC checked in on Trump-voting Quebecois-American Florida motelier Richard Clavet, finding him extra whiny over a that little thing called “consequences” being visited in the form of a drop in bookings at his eponymous mini-resort, Richard’s Motel. “They’re boycotting Trump,” Clavet had bitched over his Francophone brethren “way overreacting” to the Orange God Emperor’s unhinged “jokes” about annexing Canada and “Governor” Justin Trudeau, et cetera.

That was back when it was just Trump’s imperial shit-talk hurting him. Now Clavet tells CNN he’s REALLY upset over his actions continuing to have consequences even after he tried bargaining and denial. “Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of issues. And surprisingly, we were expecting the Trump administration to come in – more prosperity, everything will be going great,” the pouty poutine-eater moaned. A guest “cancelled and we called him back and said, ‘Sir, you’re leaving $1,000 on the table, the $1000 deposit.’ He was very firm. He said, ‘I’m not going there with that dictator of yours,'” said Clavet, adding spring 2025 was a “disaster” amid President Fecal Matter’s tariff crusade.

“The impact of Trump’s policies – or the perception of them – was enormous,” said Clavet, adding he’s “working really hard to overcome the effect, but it’s serious.” At no point does CNN quote Clavet as saying he regrets voting for that dictator of his, just complaining that he’s making less money.