During an August edition of his podcast, complete asshole Joe Rogan indirectly pitched now infamous racist “comedian” Tony Hinchcliffe to write material for convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign rallies, thereby in all likelihood inadvertently setting in motion a chain of events in which a booker on Trump’s team heard it – or read this RealClearPolitics article agreeing with the idea – reached out to Hinchcliffe, and then got him for the opening set which completely marred what was supposed to be a triumphal and more dog-whistle-y Madison Square Garden rally.

Convicted felon former President Trump on Monday was pissed at Fox News for something about his ads, shitposting that the propaganda network “spends far too much time promoting Democrats, their surrogates, and their agenda. Today I watched, over and over again, an angry and totally out of control Michelle Obama trying to save the dying Campaign of Comrade Kamala Harris. I’m leading in Michigan, by a lot, because of great support from Autoworkers, Arab Americans, Jewish Americans, and all other Patriots – But Fox refuses to put up those Polls. Fox also plays more negative commercials and ads promoting the other side than is even imaginable – Our ads on Fox News are always a big deal to negotiate (They want us to change and weaken our content!), but we put them up on CNN and MSDNC with no problems or changes. It’s hard to believe I’m leading by so much!”

Asked by the New York Times’s Annie Karni on Monday about what the hell fat former President Trump was talking about on Sunday when Trump told fans at the MSG hate rally that the two have some secret plan to steal the election, Mike Johnson just dodged and listed off greivances.

“Speaking of secrets, Harris knew Biden was physically and mentally impaired and kept it a secret. The FBI knew the Hunter Biden laptop was real and kept it secret. They also knew Russia collusion was fake and kept that a secret too. It appears that all those secrets didn’t matter to the media because they all helped Democrats. But this one might help Donald Trump, and now they care? By definition, a secret is not to be shared – and I don’t intend to share this one,” Johnson told Karni.

A fountain of raw sewage at least 180 feet high erupted from under a street in Moscow on Monday, dousing nearby buildings with shit after a gas pipeline ruptured into a sewer line, Newsweek reports.

The explosion in the city’s Novaya Moskva district reportedly was the direct result of a fuckup by state-owned energy giant Gazprom’s mishandling of a routine “air fumigation” clean-out procedure of a nearby gas line. The article doesn’t say it but it would seem Gazprom overdid it and the gas pipeline ruptured into the sewer line, causing the explosion supporters of Vlad’s regime deserve.

Gaming news and culture site IGN.com reports that the Harriz-Walz campaign debuted a custom map in wildly popular but kind of stupid online shooter game Fortnite on Monday, writing the virtual space “can be found in Fortnite Creative starting today using code 733155366547, and can be observed in dedicated partner streams from Fortnite content creators such as Jordan ‘Huskerss’ Thomas, Morgan ‘MODELMORG’ Pope, Lyah ‘Himalyahs’ Barberan, and Khairi ‘Kdot’ Harris.” The article mentions that collecting a cat plays a custom audio cue of convicted felon former President Trump ranting “they’re eating the dogs, eating the cats,” from last month’s shitshow of a debate.

Even a lot of experienced gamers, present company included, would have trouble explaining Fortnite’s appeal given its utterly strange liminal overlap with platforming and shooter genres, let alone its content ecosystem. While this is almost certainly user-generated content – as in the Harris team hired Fortnite custom map pros crank it out for them and then published it – we don’t think the game’s publisher Epic would let this stay up in the marketplace without any sort of pre-clearance with their moderation team. Our understanding is that most game companies are very reluctant to engage in or even allow anything that even appears as if they’re taking a side (funny old Spartan Reddit post about that here) and we don’t blame anyone unfamiliar with Fortnite if they see this and immediately think this is some kind of a sponsorship. But as far as we can tell, there’s nothing stopping the Trump campaign from slapping together their own Fortnite map and publishing it.

President Joe Biden voted early in person at a precinct in Delaware on Monday, MSNBC reports. He probably voted for Vice President Harris given that he publicly endorsed her immediately after dropping out in July but it’s possible he decided to be a wiseass and write in his son Hunter.

Republican Maine state Representative Lucas Lanigan’s wife interfered in his reelection campaign Monday as the freshman lawmaker was forced to turn himself in on a domestic assault warrant just over a week before he faces Dem challenger Patricia Kidder, the Portsmouth Herald reports.

We actually don’t know whether it was his wife or who filed the report that led to the warrant as the article had no further details but it’s still “election interference” by MAGA standards, especially because there’s essentially no chance of this getting resolved with the charges dropped or an acquittal at trial before the polls close next week. That’s always implicit when it’s a Republican defendant, that they theoretically could walk after the election, that mere possibility itself making the whole case a miscarriage of justice and therefore politically motivated and blah blah blah.

Vice President Kamala Harris was keen to remind CNN viewers that convicted felon former President Trump’s Nazi rally at Madison Square Garden was just more of the same shit that the American people grew tired of by the time they voted the fat orange fuck out of office four years ago.

A new Department of Homeland Security memo obtained by NBC News warns that lone wolf MAGA terrorists are the main threat to safety before and immediately after next week’s apocalyptic election, targeting candidates, elected officials, election workers, journalists, judges involved in election cases, polling places, ballot drop boxes, voter registration locations, and campaign events.

It’d probably be easier to just summarize with with “Trump and Republicans are counting on their unhinged freak fans to kill anyone who stands in their way of regaining power.”

Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost had such a raging hard-on to prosecute a grand total of six non-US citizen residents of the state for illegally voting in past elections going back to 2008 – and get it in the news before this election – he forgot to check if all of them were still actually alive and thus able to answer the charges, the Ohio Capital Journal reports. “The practice of indicting the deceased is draconian,” said Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Michael O’Malley, from whose office Yost had seized the “case” against the unnamed North Royalton man who died in 2022 after illegally voting in 2018.

Secretary of State Frank LaRose, the incompetent fucking idiot who had referred the case to Yost’s office, had a snappy comeback to O’Malley when asked why his staff hadn’t checked before sending it to Yost. “Well, you know, really – that’s a question for the county prosecutor because why did it take so long that he didn’t prosecute this case and we had to refer it over to the attorney general?”

When the FBI clams up, they're hiding information from Congress: Rep. Elise Stefanik https://t.co/5FQP5JAVSL @MorningsMaria @FoxBusiness pic.twitter.com/uo6TIIOqUF

— Maria Bartiromo (@MariaBartiromo) October 28, 2024

One ballot dropbox each in both Portland, Oregon and neighboring Vancouver, Washington were torched early Monday morning, KATU reports, with firefighters estimating that hundreds of votes had been lost on the Washington side and an indeterminate number burned on the Oregon side.

It’s not clear if the incidents were connected, but it’d probably be worse if they weren’t.

The US Supreme Court on Monday docketed Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin’s bid to purge of thousands of voters from the rolls in his state after the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals on Sunday tossed his bid to overturn a lower court ruling halting the effort and restoring some of the canceled registrations.

In a segment of her interview with CBS’s Norah O’Donnell aired Monday, Vice President Kamala Harris responded to convicted felon former President Donald Trump’s batshit rants about her acuity, saying she would take a cognitive test – and “would challenge him to take the same one.”

“This is what he has resorted to, and I think he actually is increasingly unstable and unhinged and has resorted to name calling because he actually has no plan for the American people,” Harris said.

“Democrats don’t know how to laugh” – The top comment on Breitbart’s article “Comedian Tony Hinchcliffe Endorses Trump at Madison Square Garden Rally,” posted at 4:40 PM, well after the news about Hinchcliffe’s racist “comedy” bit had percolated. Even though they embedded a video of Hinchcliffe’s whole set, Breitbart made zero mention of the jokes. Indeed a search of their site with the asshole’s last name turns up just a handful of articles, all of them referring to the controversial lines (which were on a teleprompter and thus definitely vetted by the Trump campaign) were outsourced to wire stories as Breitbart are wont to do when they want to avoid a story.

“Seems like Tony is a DNC plant. No other explanation” – Top comment on the Gateway Pundit’s Monday morning story titled “What a Coincidence? Kamala Announces Puerto Rico Policy on Sunday as Comedian at Trump Rally Slanders Puerto Rico ‘Land of Garbage’ and Cracks Crude Joke about Latinos Just Hours Later” in which founder Jim Hoft does a rundown of Hinchcliffe’s set before writing “So who was the brilliant Trump campaign member who invited Kill Tony on the stage in New York on Sunday? Do they still have a job? Are they that dense? And are we really supposed to believe this was just a coincidence after President Trump has made such amazing inroads with Latino voters? You can’t help but wonder what’s going on. For the record… I’ve been to Puerto Rico, loved it, and did not consider it a garbage island. So this ‘joke’ surprised me.” Meaning Hoft has no proof but thinks that this was an inside job somehow coordinated with the Harris campaign.

Obviously these were two completely different commenters on two completely different articles on two completely different websites, but damned if we aren’t used to a little more cohesion in the MAGA hive mind. Then again at least they’re being consistent on whether Democrats are to blame.

X-rated Dem campaign ad claims GOP wants to ‘ban porn nationwide’ https://t.co/hGDNJftrzh pic.twitter.com/96CWbrzvGN

— New York Post (@nypost) October 28, 2024

From remarks by NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte Monday: “Today, I can confirm that North Korean troops have been sent to Russia, and that North Korean military units have been deployed to the Kursk region… The deployment of North Korean troops represents: one, a significant escalation in the DPRK ongoing involvement in Russia’s illegal war. Two, yet another breach of UN Security Council resolutions. And three, a dangerous expansion of Russia’s war. The deepening military cooperation between Russia and North Korea is a threat to both the Indo-Pacific and Euro-Atlantic security. It undermines peace on the Korean Peninsula and fuels the Russian war against Ukraine.”

“This underlines the importance of democracies standing together to uphold our values and to face our shared security challenges, but the deployment of North Korean troops to Kursk is also a sign of [President] Putin’s growing desperation. Over 600,000 Russian soldiers have been killed or wounded in Putin’s war, and he is unable to sustain his assault to Ukraine without foreign support. This is because the Ukrainians are fighting back with courage, resilience and ingenuity.”

A Connecticut federal prison will finally be rid of the stinking filth of white nationalist alcoholic Steve Bannon on Tuesday, NOTUS reports on staff and fellow inmates not doubt excited after having to put up with him hogging all the pruno and refusing to shower for an interminable four months.

A new New York Times/Siena College survey of likely voters in Nebraska’s 2nd District finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 54 to 42 percent for the single “Blue Dot” electoral vote that Team MAGA tried to hand to Trump twice this year. Incumbent Republican Senator Deb Fischer leads independent challenger Dan Osborn 48 to 46 percent, in the Second District, where Osborn will absolutely need to run up the score by a very significant margin, he leads 57 to 39 percent. Statewide he’s taking 16 percent of Trump voters in the poll.

The Times/Siena also polled Texas, finding Trump up 51 to 40 percent over Harris, while punchably-faced Senator Ted Cruz leads challenger, Dem Congressman Colin Allred, 50 to 46 percent, with Allred taking a net 6 percent of Trump voters crossing over at 9 percent Trump/Allred to 3 percent Harris/Cruz. Separately an internal poll dropped by Allred’s campaign on Monday finds a tie at 46.

You don’t “love Puerto Rico.” You like drinking piña coladas. There’s a difference

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) October 28, 2024

It’s not clear yet how bad this is. All the Republicans – not to mention the Trump campaign themselves – trying to distance themselves from this Tony Hinchcliffe cocksucker calling Puerto Rico a floating island of garbage might be a good indication that they at least recognize it has the potential for becoming pretty bad for them, but we’re not totally sure how large the blast radius is going to be. Maybe that piece of shit could try apologizing if he’s that worried about it.