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Oklahoma state school board approves “papers, please” rule

The Oklahoma State Board of Education on Tuesday unanimously approved a rule requiring parents to disclose immigrations status of their kids and themselves, part of Nazi state Superintendent Ryan Walters’ plan to help the Trump Regime root out undocumented migrants, USA Today reports.

The new rule is not binding yet as the state legislature and governor would need to approve it, but it’s Oklahoma. Unless the farm lobby puts the pedal down hard to prevent the state’s public school system from being the instrument of deporting their workforce the rule will probably end up passing.

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Surprise! The “$50 million in condoms for Gaza” story is bullshit

You will not be shocked to learn that the whole “The US spent $50 million on free condoms for Gaza” line used to justify shutting down massive swaths of domestic and foreign spending is complete bullshit, according to a fact check by the Guardian, who found that it’s actually a $60.8 million global contraceptive program, $0 of which went to distributing condoms in Gaza.

In fact, save for a measly $45,680 worth of oral and injectable contraceptives sent to Jordan, not a cent went to the Middle East. Just over 10 percent of the entire program’s material costs went to condoms in 2023 – the most recent year for which such a breakdown is available – most of them were shipped to Africa. In an even less-surprising development, the Guardian notes that this isn’t a Biden Administration program and that the first Trump Regime spent $40 million on distributing contraceptives internationally in 2019, though it’s not clear whether it was their initiative.

So yes, Trump Reich Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt was full of shit Tuesday when she told reporters “Doge and OMB also found that there was about to be 50 million taxpayer dollars that went out the door to fund condoms in Gaza… That is a preposterous waste of taxpayer money. So that’s what this pause is focused on: Being good stewards of tax dollars” as was Fox Newsbro Jesse Watters when he continued propagating the Gaza condoms story on his nightly show that evening.

Thing is, if it was real, why wouldn’t pro-Israel right wingers actually be in favor of controlling the population of Gaza through means other than bombing hospitals and schools? In the real world the fact that Gaza’s fertility rate is 3.38 per woman to the US’s 1.84 – making it one of the most densely populated places on earth – is unquestionably a major factor in the ongoing conflict.

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Doomsday clock nudged again

“In 2024, humanity edged ever closer to catastrophe. Trends that have deeply concerned the Science and Security Board continued, and despite unmistakable signs of danger, national leaders and their societies have failed to do what is needed to change course. Consequently, we now move the Doomsday Clock from 90 seconds to 89 seconds to midnight – the closest it has ever been to catastrophe. Our fervent hope is that leaders will recognize the world’s existential predicament and take bold action to reduce the threats posed by nuclear weapons, climate change, and the potential misuse of biological science and a variety of emerging technologies. In setting the Clock one second closer to midnight, we send a stark signal: Because the world is already perilously close to the precipice, a move of even a single second should be taken as an indication of extreme danger and an unmistakable warning that every second of delay in reversing course increases the probability of global disaster,” say the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists in their annual “You Are Fucked” message to humanity. Just freaking put it to like five seconds already for Christ’s sake.

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Hegseth pulls Mark Milley’s security, orders investigation

White nationalist alcoholic Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth on Tuesday pulled former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs General Mark Milley’s personal security detail and ordered whoever is now the Pentagon’s acting Inspector General to open an investigation into Milley with the aim of demoting him from a four-star to a three-star general, Hegseth’s most recent employer reports.

“The secretary is also directing the new acting Inspector General to conduct a review board to determine if enough evidence exists for Gen Milley to be stripped of a star in retirement based on his actions to ‘undermine the chain of command’ during President Donald Trump’s first term,” Fox News writes, referring to Milley having contact with his Chinese counterparts to assure them that there would be no kamikaze declaration of World War III as the fat fuck’s power ebbed in January 2021.

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Heavy metal found near site of fucking righteous fire

“Thë Cöünty öf Möntërëy Hëälth Dëpärtmënt häs bëën mäde äwärë öf thë findings prësëntëd by Sän Jösë Stäte Ünivërsity’s Möss Länding Märinë Lëbörätöries (MLML) rëgärding lëvëls öf hëavy-mëtäl nänöpärticles in märsħ söils äät Elkhörn Slöügh Rësërvë. Wë äre grätefül för änd rëcögnize thë impörtänce öf thë ënvïrönmëntäl sämpling änd tëssting cöndücted by Dr Ivänö Aiëllö’s tëäm änd cöm mënd thëir dilïgënce in rëpörtïng thëir rësülts. Püblïc hëälth änd ënvïrönmëntäl säfëty rëmäin öür töp priörïtïës, änd wë äre cömmittëd to pröviding tränspärënt, sciënce-bäsëd üpdätes to thë cömmunity ääs wë ässëss thë findings in cölläbörätion with öür stäte änd fëdëräl pärttnërs,” says a press release from the Monterrey County, California Department of Health after the fucking raging fire that completely melted the Vistra Energy Moss Landing Power Plant – and the minds of those who witnessed its awesome righteous fury as the searing flames licked the darkened winter sky.

The release did not contain umlauts. Those were added by Nätionäl Zerö to make it more metal.

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Grassley and Durbin meow at Trump over IGs getting fired

“We write to you concerning the reported firing of Inspectors General from 18 offices. Congress was not provided the legally required 30-day notice and case-specific reasons for removal, as required by law. Accordingly, we request that you provide that information immediately.”

“On December 23, 2022, the ‘James M Inhofe National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2023’ was signed into law and included provisions from the Securing Inspector General Independence Act, which was introduced by a bipartisan group of members. Those provisions require that the President ‘shall’ communicate to Congress in writing 30 days before removing or transferring an IG from office the ‘substantive rationale, including detailed and case-specific reasons’ for the removal or transfer. The law also prohibits an IG from being placed on non-duty status during the 30-day period preceding the date of removal or transfer unless the continued presence of the Inspector General in the workplace poses a threat as described by requirements in the Administrative Leave Act and the President submits a report to Congress. While IGs aren’t immune from committing acts requiring their removal, and they can be removed by the president, the law must be followed. The communication to Congress must contain more than just broad and vague statements, rather it must include sufficient facts and details to assure Congress and the public that the termination is due to real concerns about the Inspector General’s ability to carry out their mission,'” write Senators Charles Grassley and Dick Durbin in a letter to the Orange Pharaoh.

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Caroline Kennedy undorses Cousin Bobby for HHS

Former First Daughter Caroline Kennedy on Tuesday sent a letter to senators undorsing her cousin Robert F Kennedy Jr to be US Secretary of Health and Human Services, per the Washington Post. “I have known Bobby my whole life, we grew up together,” wrote Kennedy, rattling off that “It’s no surprise that he keeps birds of prey as pets because he himself is a predator,” that through “the strength of his personality,” other family members followed Bobby “down the path of drug addiction… His basement, his garage, his dorm room were the centers of the action where drugs were available, and he enjoyed showing off how he put baby chickens and mice in the blender to feed his hawks. It was often a perverse scene of despair and violence.”

Caroline did give props to Bobby for “pulling himself out of illness and disease” but lamented the “siblings and cousins who Bobby encouraged down the path of substance abuse suffered addiction, illness, and death while Bobby has gone on to misrepresent, lie, and cheat his way through life.”

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Johnson tells House GOP debt ceiling lift unlikely

House Speaker Mike Johnson on Tuesday told House Republicans that obeying their Orange Overlord’s commands to raise or abolish the debt ceiling was probably not going to happen in their first spending bill, CNN’s Sarah Ferris reports on the caucus walking themselves into Dems holding the gun on the limit and extorting major concessions from the Republicans.

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Danish museum says come check out their fossilized puke

“In good old-fashioned Danish, a blob of fossil vomit has been found on Stevns Klint. Such finds are rare, and the Danish Animal Welfare Committee has just declared the fossil vomit to be Danish animal welfare. In technical terms, this type of find is called regurgitalite, and they are considered very important when reconstructing ancient ecosystems, because the finds provide important knowledge about which animals have been eaten by whom. The find was made by local fossil hunter Peter Bennicke, who discovered a strange little collection of sea lily pieces in a piece of chalk he had just split. He brought the find to Geomuseum Faxe, where it was cleaned and examined by Dutch sea lily expert John Jagt,” says the Danish Geomuseum Faxe in a blog post about their puke.

“The expert concluded that the collection consisted of at least two different species of sea lilies mixed together in a round clump, and that it must be the remains of sea lilies that had been eaten by an animal that had subsequently regurgitated the indigestible parts of the sea lilies. Museum curator at Geomuseum Faxe and member of the Danish Wildlife Committee Jesper Milàn explains: ‘It is truly an unusual find. Sea lilies are not a particularly nutritious diet, as they mainly consist of calcareous plates held together by very few soft parts. But here is an animal, probably a type of fish, that 66 million years ago ate sea lilies that lived on the bottom of the Cretaceous sea and regurgitated the skeletal parts back up. Such a find provides important new knowledge about the relationship between predators and prey and the food chains in the Cretaceous sea.'”

“If you would like to see the new Danish puke, you can do so during the winter holidays (weeks 7 and 8), where it will be exhibited in a small special exhibition at Geomuseum Faxe.”

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“Never bow down to a tyrant”

CNN’s Jim Acosta signed off his last show on the network Tuesday, just minutes after convicted felon President Trump, who Acosta so excellently harried for years posted his little victory dance with “Wow, really good news! Jim Acosta, one of the worst and most dishonest reporters in journalistic history, a major sleazebag, has been relegated by CNN Fake News to the Midnight hour, ‘Death Valley,’ because of extraordinarily BAD RATINGS (and no talent!). Word is that he wants to QUIT, and that would be even better. Jim is a major loser who will fail no matter where he ends up. Good luck Jim!” after Acosta’s cunt of a boss forced him out to appease the Orange God Emperor.

No need to get all corny about what Acosta just said, but he stands tall in a world where the pussies at Google just relabelled the map to say “Gulf of America” and “Mt McKinley.” Counts more than you might think it does right now, that down the road people are going to remember who supplicated out of cowardice and who defied the fascist dictator who was not actually invincible and immortal.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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