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Water conservation expert strongly urges Governor “Newscum” to “immediately go to Northern California and open up the water main”

“Governor Gavin Newscum should immediately go to Northern California and open up the water main, and let the water flow into his dry, starving, burning State, instead of having it go out into the Pacific Ocean. It ought to be done right now, NO MORE EXCUSES FROM THIS INCOMPETENT GOVERNOR. IT’S ALREADY FAR TOO LATE!” posted a top water conservation expert on Thursday.

Ughhhh, this fucking moron giving away the game – again. You can tell this is Donald’s attempt at making himself sound like he actually knew what he was talking about on Wednesday when he had a meltdown over some shit about a protected fish whose ecosystem is nowhere near Los Angeles and more importantly its watershed. As explained by mentally competent public officials, hydrants ran dry in upper altitudes of the hills around the city because the cisterns that store the water for those areas and the pressure comes from gravity were depleted by overusage faster than pumps could fill them up – a problem that has fuck all to do with “water mains” in Northern California this fucking subtard thinks sounds smart when he’s trying to retcon his earlier blatant dumbassery on this topic.

“Subtard” is okay, right? If “dotard” is fine then subtard should be on the okay list too.

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Greenland MP says Don Jr’s visit was all stagecraft and bullshit

Senior Greenlandic MP Pipaluk Lynge tells Politico EU that Don Trump Jr’s Tuesday visit to the island was “staged,” and warned the Trump Regime not to “invade us” as the inhabitants want their “own independence and democracy” apart from both the Danish and the Americans.

“No journalists were allowed to interview him. It was all staged to make it seem like we – the Greenlandic people – were MAGA and love to be a part of the USA,” Lynge, chair of the icy island territory’s parliamentary foreign and security policy committee, said. “People were curious, but some took pictures giving him [the] finger at the airport… Some wrote on Facebook: yankee go home,” she said, adding that Don Jr was full of shit about locals welcoming US dominion over their land. Don Jr’s spokesworm denied that the visit was staged and called the criticism “ridiculous.”

“We know how they treat the Inuit in Alaska. Make that great before trying to invade us,” Lynge said.

Separately Meidas Touch reports that Don Jr’s team literally pulled homeless guys off the streets of Nuuk to pose in pics as MAGA Greenlanders and gave them a free meal in exchange for pretending.

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Fetterman to visit Orange God Emperor at Mar-a-Lago

Dem Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman tells CBS News he’s planning to take up convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s invite for a meeting at Donald’s gilded imperial palace at Mar-a-Lago.

“That is the plan. Yes, we are going to have a conversation,” Fetterman told CBS News about the first known time a sitting Dem senator is meeting with Trump at his Palm Beach residence since the November election. “I think that one, he’s the president, or he will be officially. And I think it’s pretty reasonable that if the president would like to have a conversation — or invite someone to have a conversation — to have it. And no one is my gatekeeper,” Fetterman continued.

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Bobby Jr’s California home “still standing”

Asked by CNN’s Manu Raju if his home in Los Angeles burned down – the one he actually lives in and not the one in New York that he voted from in November – brainwormed Health and Human Services nominee Robert F Kennedy Jr said “So far, still standing.” Raju added that he also asked Bob if he was going to walk back his stance on vaccines to get confirmed. No response on that one.

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“They have a responsibility to elect competent leadership”

Never mind the non-irony of the statement “The people of California, they have a responsibility to elect competent leadership” while he can’t even identify what actually went wrong that can be attributed to incompetent leadership or that this morning Byron became at least the third Black MAGA Republican on Fox News in less than 12 hours to blame the voters in California for the state’s largest city getting torched, again, all based on complete bullshit they can’t even fully articulate.

It’s that they’re blaming the voters for this at all. Thaaaaat’s just not something you’re supposed to do in politics, tell people they were fucking stupid and they caused this mess. They don’t take it well.

And yeah, this site will be doing some of that when the fat fuck who just lied his way back into office unilaterally makes everyone’s lives more expensive, but that’s a pretty clear-cut boomeranging of cause-and-effect. Also the “price of eggs” voters aren’t reading National Zero anyway, thus nothing to lose by ragging on those fucking morons when they pay more for everything else instead. In a state where Adam Schiff won the Senate race by 17 percent it’s probably not going to help any Republicans win and it may in fact backfire in the longer run in those “swingy” Congressional districts if Donalds and his ilk are going to keep talking shit about Golden State voters like this.

Though it might help Donalds in his gubernatorial bid, with a whole “Florida is not California and we want to keep it that way” type song-and-dance. That was probably his actual point here anyway.

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New York Court of Appeals tosses Trump’s bid to delay sentencing

The New York Court of Appeals – the top court in the state which annoyingly is not called the state Supreme Court like in (probably) 49 others – on Thursday tossed convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s petition to get out of his sentencing on 34 felony convictions for lying about his pornstar sexing in Manhattan Judge Juan Merchan’s courtroom on Friday, ABC News reports.

The rejection leaves only the America Supreme Court standing in the way of the fat fuck (probably) not going to be sentenced to prison on Friday. The Manhattan DA’s office is due to respond to Trump’s “emergency” petition there this morning before a decision on certiorari is reached.

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Byron Donalds staffs up for gubernatorial run

Florida MAGA Congressman Byron Donalds has hired convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s former campaign pollster Tony Fabrizio in what Florida Politics editor Peter Schorsch sees as a sure sign the non-caucasian Freedom Caucasians member is in preparations for a long-rumored gubernatorial run in 2026 when heels-wearing incumbent Ron DeSantis is term-limited out of the office.

Fabrizio’s hiring – Schorsch notes that the pollster was on the team for creepy white collar criminal Rick Scott’s 2010 gubernatorial bid – comes just after potential primary rival and credibly suspected statutory rapist OAN host Matt Gaetz told Fox News he’s “reviewing the opportunity” to run for the bath salts-and-reptile-infested state’s top office. Meanwhile Donalds is doing the actual hiring for a campaign rather than just talking shit about it to Fox News. Donalds has other shit to talk to them.

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Notice how he doesn’t say it’s a lie

On some level large-headed Trump spokesman Steven Cheung had to know that the lib watchdog group Accountable.us has convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s HHS nominee Robert F Kennedy Jr dead to rights on voter fraud – assuming that New York state residence standards for eligibility as to run as a candidate for public office are the same to cast a ballot as a voter. If yes, then this isn’t a close call at all, with the added damnation that a freaking court already ruled last year that Bobby Brainworms was not primarily living in the Empire State, but in California, and was disqualified from running for the false assertion – a fight he kept going even after dropping out and endorsing Trump, taking it all the way to the US Supreme Court before they declined to hear his petition.

So yeah, assuming that and depending on how hard a prosecutor wants to pursue this, Bobby might really be legitimately fucked. That the group filing the complaint is “run by Obama / Biden / Kamala / Hillary staffers and Democrat donors” doesn’t mean they’re making this up and it just looks kind of really cunty to act like that somehow matters when Brainworms dug this (possible) hole himself.

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Orange Warlord not even bothering with alt-narrative

“One of the best and most beautiful parts of the United States of America is burning down to the ground. It’s ashes, and Gavin Newscum should resign. This is all his fault!!!” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump late Wednesday, not even bothering to pack in some bullshit alt-narrative about why Newsom is to blame for wide swaths of the Los Angeles area getting torched.

At this point it might as well be the Proud Boys deliberately set the fires and Newsom didn’t deploy the National Guard to protect the tinder-dry hills in and around the nation’s second-largest city from MAGA arson. It doesn’t fucking matter what happened, it’s just that it happened – in a blue state led by a liberal Democratic governor. It’s choose your own adventure for the fanboys: DEI firefighters, a fish whose habitat is hundreds of miles north in a different watershed, lack of “raking” on land that the state has no jurisdiction over, Mormon space lasers being fired from orbit to do the job a fucking Bic lighter could do. It’s whatever you want, as long as Newsom didn’t prevent it and/or it’s the wage of sins like diversity, socialism, cultural decadence, woke Hollywood Jews, sanctuary city policy, etc.

Meanwhile a CNN analysis titled “Trump seizes on Los Angeles infernos to reopen his feud with Newsom,” totally nails it with “Walls of fire devoured neighborhoods, forcing tens of thousands of residents to flee for their lives. But as a cataclysm fueled by windstorms charred swathes of Los Angeles, Donald Trump spotted an opportunity. The president-elect responded to six massive blazes by reopening his long-term feud with California Gov Gavin Newsom, landing an early jab on a Democratic governor and a state likely to emerge as a major opponent to his second term plans.”

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Smirnov gets six years for false Biden “bribery” horseshit

A federal judge on Wednesday sentenced Alexander Smirnov, the former FBI source that fed the agency a load of bullshit about President Joe Biden accepting bribes from who the fuck knows what Eastern European scumbag, the Republicans couldn’t even get their story straight, and who MAGA Congressman Brad Wenstrup claimed was the victim of a “two tiered justice system,” to six years in the joint after pleading guilty to causing the creation of a false and fictitious record in a federal investigation – as in that FD-1023 form the dipshits hailed as a “smoking gun” of the “Biden Crime Family” atrocities last year – as well as three counts of tax evasion later added, the AP reports.

Smirnov’s lawyers had informed US District Judge Otis Wright that both Hunter Biden and convicted felon President-Elect Trump “have walked free and clear of any meaningful punishment,” as part of his argument that the lying piece of shit should get no more than four years in the clink, lol.

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Yakuza boss pleads guilty to trafficking drugs, missiles, plutonium

“Takeshi Ebisawa, 60, of Japan, pleaded guilty in Manhattan, New York, today to conspiring with a network of associates to traffic nuclear materials, including uranium and weapons-grade plutonium, from Burma to other countries, as well as to international narcotics trafficking and weapons charges,” says a Justice Department press release that sounds like a friggin comic book.

“According to the court documents and evidence presented at court, since at least in 2019, the DEA investigated Ebisawa in connection with large-scale narcotics and weapons trafficking. During the investigation, Ebisawa unwittingly introduced an undercover DEA agent (UC-1), posing as a narcotics and weapons trafficker, to Ebisawa’s international network of criminal associates, which spanned Japan, Thailand, Burma, Sri Lanka, and the United States, among other places, for the purpose of arranging large-scale narcotics and weapons transactions. Ebisawa and his network, including his co-defendants, negotiated multiple narcotics and weapons transactions with UC-1.”

“Ebisawa conspired to broker the purchase, from UC-1, of US-made surface-to-air missiles, as well as other heavy-duty weaponry, intended for multiple ethnic armed groups in Burma (including the leader of an ethnic insurgent group in Burma (CC-1)), and to accept large quantities of heroin and methamphetamine for distribution as partial payment for the weapons. Ebisawa understood the weapons to have been manufactured in the US and taken from US military bases in Afghanistan. Ebisawa planned for the heroin and methamphetamine to be distributed in the New York market.”

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West Virginia psychopath delegate resigns, handing seat to Dems

“In response to the vacancy by the incumbent in the 91st House District, the Berkeley County Democratic Executive Committee will be overseeing the nomination of three highly qualified candidates for the unexpired term. These individuals will be forwarded to the Governor for consideration within the 15 day timeframe per WV Code 3-10-5. An emergency meeting of the BCDEC will be announced in the coming days for potential appointee interviews and selection,” said the Berkeley County, West Virginia Democratic Party in a statement on Wednesday, the end result of the meltdown by now-former state Delegate Joe DeSoto who threatened to murder state House Speaker Roger Hanshaw and other Republicans after he “had a vision to destroy them from the angel of Moroni” within days after the freshman lawmaker was sworn-in following his election win.

DeSoto ran and won as a Republican but in what was possibly some terroristic fuck-the-world move, switch his registration to Democratic just before cops arrested him over threats. West Virginia has no special elections and replacements are appointed by the governor – who can select only from a choice of one out of three candidates submitted by the local party, thus handing the seat to a Democrat. A real one and not a criminally insane freak. Now the state House of Delegates will, until at least 2027, have a 90-10 Republican-to-Democratic super-duper-majority instead of 89-11. Yay?

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Firefighting expert continues with analysis

“As of this moment, Gavin Newscum and his Los Angeles crew have contained exactly ZERO percent of the fire. It is burning at levels that even surpass last night. This is not Government. I can’t wait till January 20th!” posted convicted felon fireighting expert Trump on Wednesday.

Later the renowned expert further continued his in-depth analysis with “NO WATER IN THE FIRE HYDRANTS, NO MONEY IN FEMA. THIS IS WHAT JOE BIDEN IS LEAVING ME. THANKS JOE!” and then “The fires in Los Angeles may go down, in dollar amount, as the worst in the History of our Country. In many circles, they’re doubting whether insurance companies will even have enough money to pay for this catastrophe. Let this serve, and be emblematic, of the gross incompetence and mismanagement of the Biden/Newscum Duo. January 20th cannot come fast enough!”

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“They don’t seem honored, just to be clear”

Dinesh D’Souza’s son-in-law Brandon Gill, now five days into pretending to represent the 26th District of Texas, brought some real always-online incel energy to his first CNN hit on Wednesday, cheerfully reciting some lines he had road tested in a Patriots.win post even as anchor Brianna Keilar was more about speaking like adults actual discussing politics on a nationally televised newscast.

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Hydrology expert knows what went wrong in Los Angeles

“Governor Gavin Newscum refused to sign the water restoration declaration put before him that would have allowed millions of gallons of water, from excess rain and snow melt from the North, to flow daily into many parts of California, including the areas that are currently burning in a virtually apocalyptic way. He wanted to protect an essentially worthless fish called a smelt, by giving it less water (it didn’t work!), but didn’t care about the people of California. Now the ultimate price is being paid. I will demand that this incompetent governor allow beautiful, clean, fresh water to FLOW INTO CALIFORNIA! He is the blame for this. On top of it all, no water for fire hydrants, not firefighting planes. A true disaster!” posted a noted hydrology expert on Wednesday.

The polymathic expert previously demonstrated his masterful command of forestry management in 2018 after a massive, fast-moving wildfire killed 85 people in the town of Paradise, California.

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Justice Department to release January 6th side of Smith report

Attorney General Merrick Garland on Wednesday informed the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals that the Justice Department will release the half of special counsel Jack Smith’s final report concerning convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s failed post-2020 election coup attempt but not the theft of classified documents pending a decision from the appellate bench after shitbag MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon enjoined them from releasing it. Will be funny if Cannon comes back and orders them to withhold the whole thing, even from the case that was completely outside of her jurisdiction.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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