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Yeah, this is “Over the target”

Remember that old “Over the target” trope mentioned earlier today? This is “Over the target.” When MAGAlyn Manson is complaining and acting offended – this racist freak said the White House would smell like curry if Kamala Harris had been elected – and she’s offended. That’s great.

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Former Zambian lawmaker’s associates arrested in total witch hunt

IT’S A TOTAL WITCH HUNT! Zambian President Hakainde Hichilema’s regime have arrested two men allegedly hired by Nelson Banda, the younger brother of fugitive lawmaker Jay Banda, on charges practicing witchcraft, possession of charms, and cruelty to animals in rituals meant to cast a dark spell over Hichilema, the Associated Press reports on a third world politically biased investigation.

Suspects Jasten Mabulesse Candunde, 42, and Leonard Phiri, 43, “were found in possession of assorted charms, including a live chameleon, and are alleged to be practicing witch doctors,” said Zambian Federal Police spokesman Rae Hamoonga, adding that their purported mission “was to use charms to harm the Head of State, His Excellency President Hakainde Hichilema.”

In all seriousness Hichilema has put up with a lot of bullshit since taking office in 2021, mostly led by his corrupt predecessor, Edgar Lungu. Not saying the Hichilema’s definitely a saint, he could be just as corrupt and/or despotic, but if you judge him solely by his enemies – and the fact that these clowns were resorting to fucking witchcraft to take him down – well maybe he is a good leader.

Though if he wants to take the country forward then maybe he should order prosecutors to drop the witchcraft charges and stick solely to the cruelty to animals rap. Don’t take that shit seriously.

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Team Incel getting fired up again

The same spending bill that collapsed on Thursday – minus the debt limit increase – will be coming up for a vote on Friday evening, just hours before the government will shut down. Naturally all the fanboys – and their non-celibate, drug addicted god – are fucking pissed. Let’s see if they have enough time to tank it. Took them the better part of a day last time, but they’re ready now.

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Scores injured in vehicular attack on German Christmas market

At least one person is dead – reliable-ish Eastern European Twitter newsfeed Visegrad 24 puts it at 11 dead – and 60 to 80 people have been injured when a car by all appearances purposely sped into the crowd at a Christmas market in the German city of Magdeburg on Friday, Sky News reports

“The police have put out a statement saying there’s an extensive police operation that’s going on and they haven’t officially said yet whether this is terror,” said Sky Euro correspondent Siobhan Robbins, adding “That of course will be something that a lot of people will be asking. There has been a warning for Christmas markets across Europe to be on high alert for possible terror attacks.”

A man was arrested at the scene. That the deadly attack – which bears a lot of similarities to past Islamic terrorist attacks in Europe – comes just days after Germany’s governing coalition collapsed amid an ongoing surge by the Fourth Reich AfD party and hours after shithead Elon Musk said the anti-immigrant extremists were destined to save Germany is not a good sign for democracy there.

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Party City closing down, recently canceled vendor confab out of worry that suppliers owed money were safety threat to team

Buried down in CNN’s reporting on the immediate demise of Party City – like all 800 stores nationwide, which may or may not have their doors open as of this very moment – is a slightly ambiguous but pretty damning detail about the end which we’ll just copy verbatim from the article:

“The news of the company’s impending collapse began to trickle out among the company’s corporate staff over the past couple weeks. Party City’s product development team was recalled two weeks ago from its yearly trip with vendors and told to return home immediately, according to a former Party City corporate office employee, who wished to remain anonymous because they were not authorized to speak to the media. The team was told the company believed the trip posed a safety risk, because Party City had stopped paying its suppliers,” CNN writes, emphasis ours.

It’s fairly but not 100 percent clear given the flow of the story that the leaks were the main reason for the pullback, that the vendor reps, knowing that Party City was about to shutter and would never pay them whatever was owed, were a safety risk. Or they didn’t know it and were still fucking pissed enough to be a safety risk. Either way that’s a pretty stark sign of how bad it must’ve gotten.

Still, were they buying piñatas from a front for the Sinaloa Cartel? Paper plates and cups from the Chinese Communist Party? More seriously, what rep from a normal manufacturer of retail party goods and Halloween costumes would assault a product development rep from freaking Party City over the company failing to pay invoices? Someone’s gotta pin the tail on the donkey here, fill in some more details about this oddly tantalizing angle to a larger, more tragic story.

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MAGA Land confident haters just jealous

“They are saying that because they have never managed anything. A good Manager surrounds himself with capable people gives them an assignment and let’s them do their job. Musk analyzed Twitter and fired 80 percent of the workforce and it’s still up and running. The Federal Government is about to get smaller and more efficient” – Top comment on the Fox News article “Democrats, media allies push talking point that Elon Musk is truly incoming president instead of Trump,” posted Friday.

Mildest of props to the commenter for not trotting out the old “Must be over the target” line, a lesser fanboy would’ve walked himself right into that one. If the headline said “Democrats, media allies warn Musk is a threat to the entire federal workforce,” then they would be bombs away with that tired line. Here it would’ve just looked like confirming that Musk outranks Trump. Instead this guy handles it more like a 12 year-old girl who didn’t make the middle school cheerleading squad, dismissing the coaches and those mean bitches who did make it as the actual losers here.

How else was he supposed to react when the entire Fox News article was just a lengthy compendium of tweets and quotes mocking Musk dogwalking their president? The only pushback the propaganda network printed in the story was some lame statement from psycho Karoline Leavitt saying “As soon as President Trump released his official stance on the CR, Republicans on Capitol Hill echoed his point of view. President Trump is the leader of the Republican Party. Full stop,” on Thursday before the mockery did not full stop but continued and escalated. There was no actual pushback or “debunking” just some impotent framing of it as being a “narrative” that’s inherently false because it’s the “Democrats, media allies” pushing it to score political points against Trump.

Worth asking why Fox News even printed this at all if they weren’t going to try to actually dismantle the “narrative” when propagating it. It’s like they’re not even trying to pretend the punch didn’t land.

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ISIS leader killed right before Christmas

“On Dec 19, US CENTCOM conducted a precision airstrike targeting ISIS leader Abu Yusif aka Mahmud in the Dayr az Zawr Province, Syria resulting in two ISIS operatives killed, including Abu Yusif. This airstrike is part of CENTCOM’s ongoing commitment, along with partners in the region, to disrupt and degrade efforts by terrorists to plan, organize, and conduct attacks against civilians and military personnel from the US, our allies, and our partners throughout the region and beyond. This strike was conducted in an area formerly controlled by the Syrian regime and Russians.”

“‘As stated before, the United States – working with allies and partners in the region – will not allow ISIS to take advantage of the current situation in Syria and reconstitute. ISIS has the intent to break out of detention the over 8,000 ISIS operatives currently being held in facilities in Syria. We will aggressively target these leaders and operatives, including those trying to conduct operations external to Syria,’ said Gen Michael Kurilla, CENTCOM commander,” says a US CENTCOM statement.

Right before Christmas too, in a season when there’s supposed to be joy and celebration, not getting blown to hell by a missile they didn’t see coming. Sure, Yusif wasn’t a Christmas-tian, but the holiday is inclusive and everyone is encouraged. For all we know Yusuf could have watched It’s A Wonderful Life with Arabic subtitles via satellite in his underground dungeon and felt the spirit of the season. Gradually, then suddenly, Yusuf’s ice cold heart would melt into warmth, and the terrorist leader would burst outside to dance merrily down the streets of his little goat village with a small crippled boy on his shoulder as fluffy snowflakes gently wafted down from the sky.

And if that didn’t happen then CENTCOM forces could’ve just vaporized him on the 26th.

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Rare calendar alignment deprives Jews of Chinese food Christmas

In a rare calendar alignment not seen since 2005, American Jews will be deprived of one of their most sacred Christmas traditions next week: Ordering Chinese food and going to a movie theater since most other establishments are closed on the Christian/hypercapitalist holiday, as USA Today reports the Tribe will instead celebrate the first night of Hanukkah on December 25th. Such a convergence of the Hebrew and Gregorian calendars will next occur in 2035 and then again in 2054.

What’s probably a loss in the tens of millions nationally for cinemas and purveyors of sodium-flavored carbohydrates mixed in with meat byproducts is a gain for those in mixed families whom would prefer to avoid gathering for two separate celebrations in a single month because hearing Aunt Mary-Catherine drunkenly calling Uncle Bernie a “Christ-killer” once a year is enough.

Also those chocolate gold shekels are freaking terrible and make gingerbread seem like a delicacy.

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Musk’s top assistant endorses shutdown

“If there is going to be a shutdown of government, let it begin now, under the Biden Administration, not after January 20th, under ‘TRUMP.’ This is a Biden problem to solve, but if Republicans can help solve it, they will!” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Friday, as if he didn’t earlier this week command Republicans in Congress to tank a funding bill they had negotiated.

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Team Orange considering just letting a shutdown happen

Convicted felon President-Elect Trump and Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson’s respective teams are considering simply letting a government shutdown happen and trying to blame the Democrats for it, even though Republicans have the majority and thus theoretically the votes to get a funding package through the House at least, and even though military members won’t be getting their end-of-month paycheck to cover credit card bills incurred over Christmas, and even though it’s going to fuck things up politically for Trump before he can even start further dismantling American democracy, they think it’s the right call at this juncture, Politico Playbook reports.

There’s a “fear that Democrats are so eager to trip up Trump, that when the debt ceiling next needs to be raised, they’ll demand the GOP make politically impossible concessions. Republicans will then either cave to Dems’ demands, or they’ll cause a breach of the debt ceiling, precipitating an economic catastrophe in Trump’s first year back in office. Under this logic, these Trump world figures argue, it’s better to face a shutdown now to try to resolve the issue,” the Beltway newsletter team writes, explaining the thinking behind this self-sabotage from a team led by a supposed practitioner of the “Art of the Deal,” who can play 12D chess blindfolded against multiple opponents.

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Orange Fuhrer threatens Europe for no particular reason

“I told the European Union that they must make up their tremendous deficit with the United States by the large scale purchase of our oil and gas. Otherwise, it is TARIFFS all the way!!!” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump early Friday, possibly egged on by Putin.

The fat fuck also called again for the debt ceiling to be vaporized, writing “Congress must get rid of, or extend out to, perhaps, 2029, the ridiculous Debt Ceiling. Without this, we should never make a deal. Remember, the pressure is on whoever is President,” without understanding that that gives Dems leverage to extract major concessions from him on a shit ton of priorities.

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Josh Duggar pissing away family money in prison: report

Sources tell celebrity “news” site In Touch Weekly that former reality show star-turned-now-imprisoned convicted pedophile Josh Duggar has been pissing away his family’s money on designer sneakers and sunglasses via a special service federal inmates are permitted to order from.

“Truth is, Josh has been rescued by his folks so many times and he probably thinks he deserves the finer things,” the one source says of the Evangelical child pornography addict while he’s locked up on a 151-month bid. “[Dad] Jim Bob and [Mom] Michelle are sick with worry and Josh is guilting them even more into sending him cash so he can buy the luxuries that would otherwise be unavailable to him and live in style,” the source continued. Another said wait, there’s more, as Joshy is “shopping for bath supplies and expensive skin creams, books and magazines, candy, soda and other comforts,” through the regular prison commissary or the mail-order service.

“The other inmates don’t have what he has, and it just makes Josh look smug and entitled. It’s no secret he’s setting himself up for trouble from thieves and bullies who aren’t going to take his showing off lying down,” the second source continued, operating under the flawed assumption that Josh is in imminent danger of getting brutalized and all of his expensive shit taken from him.

Flawed because the fact that he’s walking around with this stuff in the first place should tell you at least several of the toughest, meanest sons of bitches inside haven’t already been taken care of from all the 19 Kids And Counting residuals and aren’t using the same fancy lotions and wearing the same footwear couture themselves. Hell those guys had to have been getting paid off from day one given the bullseyes painted on the backs of sick fucks like Duggar in the joint. Just ask Larry Nassar.

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First vote on government funding fails

The initial rules vote on the spending package President Elon Musk and his lowly supplicant Donald Trump forced upon the House failed Thursday night, falling short of the 2/3rds threshold required to advance. It’s not completely sunk yet, but it’s also a bad look for Republicans and the very zero votes of support from Dems does not bode well going forward. The vote is still ongoing but with more than 145 no votes at the current moment – 16 of them from Republicans – this round is over.

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Orange Warlord snaps at “Colonel Sanders”

“Chip Roy is just another ambitious guy, with no talent. By the way, how’s Bob Good doing? I hope some talented challengers are getting ready in the Great State of Texas to go after Chip in the Primary. He won’t have a chance!“ posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Thursday, apparently anticipating Roy would be an obstacle to abolishing the debt ceiling.

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FAA imposes no drone-zone over large areas of New Jersey

As if the dipshits who keep mistaking manned aircraft for Chinese or Venezuelan drones will be assuaged, the Federal Aviation Administration on Thursday announced a no-drone zone will be imposed over much of New Jersey on Tuesday for the next 30 days, ABC News reports.

“At the request of federal security partners, the FAA published 22 Temporary Flight Restrictions (TFRs) prohibiting drone flights over critical New Jersey infrastructure. The temporary flight restrictions, which are set to last until Jan 17, have been implemented beginning Wednesday in the following locations: Hamilton, Bridgewater, Cedar Grove, North Brunswick, Metuchen, Evesham, Camden, Gloucester City, Westampton, South Brunswick, Edison, Branchburg, Sewaren, Jersey City, Harrison, Elizabeth, Bayonne, Winslow, Burlington, Clifton, Hancocks Bridge and Kearny.”

“We continue to assess there is no public safety threat relating to the reported drone sightings. In coordination with the FAA and our critical infrastructure partners who requested temporary flight restrictions over their facilities, out of an abundance of caution, the FAA has issued temporary flight restrictions over some critical infrastructure facilities in New Jersey,” said the FAA in a statement, warning law enforcement have been authorized to use “deadly force” against the drones.

Yeah, that’s what the article said. Weird choice of words. Suppose it’s more succinct than saying they would use force “that would be deadly if applied to a human,” and would in practical terms render most common drones useless. Still weird. They did not warn deadly force would be used against drone operators if found, instead saying that persons found piloting anything other than a common retail recreational drone under 400 ft in the restricted areas would be “intercepted, detained, and interviewed by the law enforcement/security personnel.”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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