Exploding electric vehicle company Tesla's sales dropped 13 percent in Q1 2025 compared to Q1 2024, delivering 336,000 vehicles down from a Wall Street estimate of between 360,000 and 370,000 deliveries and the company's own investor relations team put at 377,000, CNBC reports.

Oh and Electrek.co reports they're sitting on $200 million worth of the hideous shitbox Cybertrucks which, put together, should be the real apocalyptic harbinger for the company's founder, not a fucking state Supreme Court election in goddamned Wisconsin. "Western civilization," lol.

"Trump Tariff Plans Still in Limbo Ahead of Rose Garden Event" says the headline of a Tuesday night Bloomberg story first printed at 7:44 PM EDT and then updated at 6:44 AM EDT on Wednesday, which was 9 hours and 16 minutes before the 4:00 PM EDT announcement at which the President of the United States will purportedly declare economic warfare against the entire rest of the world.

They've now, as of this printing, got 7 hours and 9 minutes left to figure out the precise contours of the plan and as most people who have worked in pressure situations know, there's nothing like crunch time to spark a little bit of creative magic. These are those golden hours in which they'll be bouncing a rubber ball off the walls of their conference room littered with fast wrappers and empty coffee cups and then, before you know it, the spark of an idea will burst into a brilliant flame of a plan that will save the American economy, commence a thriving era of domestic manufacturing, leave allies and foes alike begrudging with respect for the Administration and renew a commitment in them to partner with the president on building a fair and equitable global economy.

It could absolutely go like that. It really could. It's only at like roughly the 2:17 PM mark that if they don't have anything yet they'll really have to start to panic and then just frantically slap what little they have together and go out there with a straight face to act like this is a well-considered plan.

Yes, Democrats may have won the big Wisconsin state Supreme Court race on Tuesday, but they actually lost their most sacred values because they're now pro-violence and anti-electric cars, said Jonathan Turley on Fox News Wednesday morning, plugging a new column he has out on the supposed mass betrayal. Apparently this means that Turley understands how badly he sucked at being a legal commentator he's now trying to refashion himself as a political expert, lol.

That was the second half of the clip, which just barely won out over the first half, which was the not-as-MAGA Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy laying the blame on Elon Musk for the defeat, pretty much throwing him under the bus and reassuring viewers that Wisconsin voters were taking their anger out on him, not Trump. This of course ignores the fact that, had former Vice President Kamala Harris won in November, Musk would be at home playing Diablo IV and eating shrooms instead of at the White House annex office building playing Diablo IV and eating shrooms in between ordering his squad of incels to fuck over regular people in the name of specious "government efficiency."

"South Carolina Forestry Commission law enforcement officials have arrested three individuals on charges related to the origin of the now-13,000+ acre Table Rock Fire near Pickens, SC. This morning officers arrested Nyzaire Jah-Neiz Marsh, 19, of Taylors, Tristan Tyler, 18, of Greenville and Isaac Wilson, 18, of Greenville, charging them with one count each of negligently allowing fire to spread to lands or property of another. While involved in the search for a missing hiker in Table Rock State Park March 21, Pickens County sheriff's deputies, state park personnel and other first responders discovered a rapidly growing wildfire. As part of their response, the search group located and evacuated seven hikers, several of whom were questioned about the origins of the fire."

"During preliminary interviews, four subjects, three adults and one minor, were relocated to the C David Stone Law Enforcement Center in Pickens for follow-up questioning. SCFC investigators along with Pickens County Sheriff's Office detectives obtained evidence that they allege identified these subjects as suspects in the origin of the Table Rock State Park fire. According to the arrest warrant affidavits, the suspects took part in smoking activities on a hiking trail at the state park and did not extinguish their cigarettes in a proper and safe manner, which officials allege led to the ignition of the Table Rock Fire," says the South Carolina Forestry Commission in a news release on the arrests of the three cool teenagers who ignored and mocked all those lame-ass anti-smoking PSAs.

In all seriousness those ads were fucking lame and likely made more smokers than they prevented.

Republicans on the Florida state House Government Operations subcommittee on Tuesday advanced a new bill requiring voters in the Sunshine State to verify US citizenship with one of seven forms of identification, including a passport, birth certificate, or driver's license – with the bill also mandating the DMV update state licenses to indicate US citizenship – when registering to vote or making any changes to their registration, the Palm Beach Post reports.

The bill does not however go all the way and require voters to actually present proof of citizenship at the polls and current law allows Floridians to show something as far afield from real government-issued IDs as a neighborhood association card as long as it has a photo on it. Otherwise, since the state's required driver's license renewal interval period is every eight years – or 6 years if you're over 80 years old – it'll take until 2034 for the state to verify the citizenship of every voter who uses a driver's license as ID at the polls… which is almost certainly the vast majority of them.

All this is to say these are some sneaky, weasely sons of bitches, not forcing everyone to present citizenship proof at the polls from the get-go or at least demand everyone on the state's voter rolls update their registration with said proof before the 2026 elections. So in one sense they're being smarter about it by tip-toeing around disenfranchising Republican voters – in fact if you still live in the same home 10 years from now and use any of the non-governmental IDs to vote then it appears you'll be exempted from having to prove your citizenship indefinitely – but if this is as urgent as the MAGA assclowns say it is then they should be walking the walk on "election integrity," instead of fucking around and gradually bringing the vast majority of the state's electorate in over a decade.

The long con of the left is corruption of the judiciary

- Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 2, 2025

It's "Liberation Day" in the United States, according to Reuters and a bunch of other news outlets that say Americans are about to be liberated from a shit ton of their money.

A Trump regime adviser on Tuesday reacted to the defeat of wienery former Wisconsin Attorney General Brad Schimel to liberal Judge Susan Crawford in the big state Supreme Court race by telling NBC News that "The results are what they are. It's an off-year race, and predictive of nothing. I don't think you can read too much into it, including Elon's role," even though, again, Musk said the race would "decide the future" of "Western Civilization" and the "destiny of humanity." So yeah this adviser's a twat doing a bad job of coping with a defeat in a race they should've stayed away from.

There's also that Trump himself commanded his fans to vote for Schimel because a Crawford win would be "a DISASTER for Wisconsin and, the United States of America. SO IMPORTANT" and last week said "Wisconsin is a big state politically, and the Supreme Court has a lot to do with elections in Wisconsin. Winning Wisconsin is a big deal, therefore the Supreme Court choice. It's a big race."

"Elon was a happy warrior this entire race, knowing full well it was an uphill battle. The only reason Schimel was able to make this a race was because Elon got involved," a "source familiar with Musk's thinking" said. "He put the Democrats on defense and made them empty their coffers in a race that should've never been competitive." What the fuck, lol. Crawford won by 9 percent. Still, the source vowed that Ketamine Brain's "going to continue to be active and isn't ceding anything to Democrats."

Musk has not tweeted anything whatsoever in the more than two hours since the race was called.

Western civilization ended Tuesday in Wisconsin as liberal Judge Susan Crawford defeated former Attorney General Brad Schimel for a seat on the state Supreme Court, maintaining the 4-3 left majority on the bench, Cook Political Report's Dave Wasserman projects in the moment that dooms all of society to darkness, according to drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk, who on Sunday warned fans that "the future of Western civilization is very much in the balance right now," during a rally at which he handed out $2 million in bribes to them on top of like $20 million dumped into the race, lol.

More immediately, drunken asshole MAGA Congressman Derrick Van Orden and his fellow Wisconsinite Bryan Steil had warned they would probably lose their seats in the 2026 midterms due to an anticipated un-gerrymandering of the state's maps in an upcoming case. "We both lose," Van Orden told CNN's Manu Raju. "So that's why everyone's paying attention to this on a national level"

Convicted felon President Trump's regime are preparing estimates of what it would cost to conquer and maintain control of Greenland as a US territory, the Washington Post reports, citing "three people with knowledge of the matter," who are really acting on "the most concrete effort yet to turn President Donald Trump's desire to acquire the Danish island into actionable policy."

An option being floated is simply buying out the Danes and offering the Greenlanders considerably more in subsidies than the estimated $600 million Denmark's government forks over per year. "This is a lot higher than that," said a Trump regime official familiar with the plans. "The point is, 'We'll pay you more than Denmark does.'" Why Greenland should trust their word was not elaborated upon.

Then there's selling the American public on the completely unknown but theoretically sizable economic benefits to accessing the vast frozen island's resources. "There is a discussion about what would be the cost-benefit to the United States of America if we were to acquire Greenland," an official said. "What would it cost us to maintain Greenland as a United States territory?"

Republican Jimmy Patronis has defeated Dem Gay Vailmont to replace credibly suspected sex trafficker and OAN host Matt Gaetz in Florida's 1st District, convicted felon President Trump projects.

Scumbag Republican Randy Fine has defeated Dem Josh Weil in the Florida 6th special to replace Mike Waltz, elections geek John Couvillon projects. The only question now is how close Weil ran and how much he overperformed expectations in the Trump +30 district. It's definitely not Fine +30.

Should he make it another 20 minutes Dem New Jersey Senator Cory Booker will, as of 7:19 PM EDT on Tuesday, have broken the record for longest time speaking in the history of the US Senate.

Responding to Dem Senator Jon Ossoff's attempts to taunt her into taking him on next year, white nationalist psychopath Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene tells Punchbowl that Ossoff has "been lying to everyone and using my name to fundraise. He must be having a really hard time raising money," but apparently didn't actually deny that she might give it a go in the midterms.

Or maybe she did. It's in the paywalled article but not subscribing to goddamned Punchbowl.

California Senator Adam Schiff tells CBS News he's going to put a hold on Musk fanboy/MAGA cocksucker Acting DC US Attorney Ed Martin's nomination to the same post, saying in a statement that "For the past nine weeks, Ed Martin has consistently undermined the independence and abused the power of the US Attorney's office in DC, openly threatening and intimidating political opponents, dismissing charges against his own clients, firing public servants for their roles in legitimate investigations and using his office as a cudgel to chill dissent and free speech."

Now Schiff can't actually block Martin's ascent to confirmation so much as slow him down severely. The vast majority of Senate confirmations to lower and medium level posts are done by voice vote, meaning that as long as no one Senator objects to anything (not just confirmations but laws too) it's automatically clears the chamber. This is how that dumb inbred fucker Tommy Tuberville held up all those military promotions in that the Senate could have voted on them one-by-one but it would've taken way too much time and given him way too many opportunities to slow them down one-by-one.

Martin cannot be held up indefinitely but it will take quite a while for him to get a vote.

Ketamine-brained billionaire Elon Musk's drug addiction problem is considerably worse than any observers have estimated as on Tuesday he told resident Fox News "comedian" Greg Gutfeld that he would "be happy to do your show. I actually – I've seen pieces of your show. It's very funny. It's my style of humor." Musk also went on about how some libtards putting gum in the handles of Teslas are just as bad as the January 6th rioters, claimed he needed to find the "generals" directing the "terrorism," and, in response to questions about his proximity to what's left of federal regulatory agencies, that "I am under such an extreme spotlight, so much scrutiny, that it is literally impossible for me to get away with anything nefarious, obviously nor do I wish to," as if said scrutiny matters.

A New Jersey federal judge on Tuesday ruled that Columbia grad student Mahmoud Khalil's case will remain in the Garden State's US court district, shooting down the Trump regime's attempts to have it heard where he's currently detained in Louisiana and thus a more favorable jurisdiction for MAGA.

"REPUBLICANS MUST DEFUND AND TOTALLY DISASSOCIATE THEMSELVES FROM NPR AND PBS, THE RADICAL LEFT 'MONSTERS' THAT SO BADLY HURT OUR COUNTRY!" posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, the "MONSTERS" obviously referring to campy queer Grover and neurotic weirdo Telly, the muppets that have hurt the country badly by normalizing their behavior.

Questioning Oliver Stone is on Capitol Hill about John F Kennedy's assassination – who knows why the hell this is even happening – grandma Congresswoman Lauren Boebert couldn't even get her Stones right, confusing the director with unhinged traitor Roger Stone, who accused Lyndon B Johnson of ordering Kennedy's assassination. Oliver merely accused Johnson of covering it up, lol.

Fucking idiot National Security Advisor Mike Waltz used personal Gmail accounts to conduct government business during the two months he's served in his role, the Washington Post reports.