Trump signs Coronavirus relief bill

President Trump has signed the Coronavirus relief bill after dicking around pointlessly for a few days, per Politico’s Jake Sherman. Stimulus payments will be $600, not $2,000.

Mexico says Trump tariffs would mean adios to 400,000 US jobs

Orange Fuhrer declares victory over illegal immigration, drugs

The Saga Continues… There’s No Way Out

Experts tell CNN it’s okay to piss in the shower

California Republican Congresswoman concedes to Dem

Rodent needs 22 minutes to explain why MAGAflation will be good

Surprise! Feds tell NBC threats to Team Trump were “not credible”

MAGA Reich claims they received “violent, unAmerican threats”

Team Orange planning to invade Mexico

Judge tosses Ray Epps’s lawsuit vs Fox News

QAdulteress fails to understand basic properties of vote counting

ICC prosecutor applies for warrant on Myanmar dictator

ChiCom defense minister under investigation for corruption

Fox News San Francisco expert arrested on pimping charge

Dem takes lead in CA-13 count

Arizona man jumps off of moving roller coaster

Drake sues label alleging bots boosted Kendrick Lamar diss track

HUGE sale on Democrat swag! Hurry!

Rudy snaps at federal judge

Farm groups already begging Trump to back off deportations

Maladjusted nerd has big issue with one of two nominees in clip

Walmart drops all DEI initiatives

Sheinbaum threatens to retaliate with tariffs

Breitbart photo editors go full “Stubbornly won’t admit subscribing to niece’s OnlyFans page was wrong after wife found out” face

More than two-thirds understand tariffs will raise prices: poll

Chicoms quake before Fat Orange Dragon’s might

Ohio man sentenced after shooting guy in face over potato chips

Wienery former Trump spokesman says Donald saved Christmas

Judge Chutkan dismisses Trump DC case without prejudice

Team Orange investigating Ephsteyn for influence peddling: CNN

“MASSIVE WIN for the rule of law”

Jack Smith moves to dismiss DC Trump case without prejudice

Orange Lord showers his golden glory upon replacement for Gaetz

Surprise! Shen Yun a human trafficking operation, per lawsuit

Next Trump Reich’s FCC chair vows to defeat Soros

Far right scumbag leads in Romanian presidential election

Ashley Madison exec reveals top US adultery hotspots to Fox News

No surprises whatsover from Pizzagate Asshole’s taste in music

Lost penguin deported from Australia

New York Post reports Trump to completely defeat Tren de Aragua gang but then the daydream ended and a cold reality sank in

MAGA Senators still fine-tuning Hegseth defenses

NASA developing phone-sized aquatic probes to explore Europa

Venezuelan forces lay siege to Argentinian embassy in Caracas

Fox News reports wokeness ruining country music industry

Philippines Vice President Sara Duterte says she’s ordered assassin to kill President Ferdinand Marcos immediately if/when she is killed

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCI

Hungarian Nazi enthusiast named to National Security post

We’re gonna miss him when he’s gone

Hedge fund manager going to play with a lot more people’s money

Maine Republican declared winner of election for state seat by one vote after being arrested for choking wife in October