Because of the coronavirus pandemic, the Mardi Gras celebrations in New Orleans have been canceled. But fear not, Zeros! Here are ten ways you can have the exact same experience safely in your own home.
- 10. Eat a stick of butter, straight.
- 9. Spray cat urine around the house and soak in the aroma.
- 8. Flash yourself in the mirror.
- 7. Wake up from a nap and wonder where your underwear is.
- 6. Hit yourself in the face with beads.
- 5. Search for a bathroom for 45 minutes.
- 4. Move yourself and your entire family to the smallest closet in the house and try to dance.
- 3. Lean out a window of your house and yell to strangers passing by to “show us your boobs!”
- 2. Make a slushie. Add sugar and rum to it. Burn a $20 bill.
And the Number One way to celebrate a virtual Mardi Gras is…
- 1. Throw up on your shoes, but make sure to take your mask off.