National Zero’s twitter feed revealed that two pathologically unhappy people – notorious whiner who channels his misanthropy into what he calls “media criticism” Joe Concha and frigid virago Harris Faulkner – were bemoaning some perceived semantic transgression by the Associated Press on Wednesday. The still image was otherwise devoid of context, however the expressions on each of their faces betrayed nothing less than a deep and immutable dissatisfaction with literally all of creation. There is nothing to indicate that either’s condition would improve until their inevitable deaths – likely some time in the 2060s or 2070s or sooner.