Happy Trump Reinstatement Month!

August 2021 is finally here! That means former President Donald Trump is going to be reinstated! Yes, sometime this month Joe Biden will be removed from the White House and thrown in prison or exiled to Antarctica or given a nightly show on MSNBC or something and Trump will return to the presidency! We’re not sure what’ll happen to the Vice Presidency. Maybe Kamala Harris will stick around or John F Kennedy Jr will be installed as VP since Mike Pence definitely isn’t coming back.

Trump has never been known to be loose with appointed dates and times. Everything he said that he would make happen in two weeks and by April of 2020 definitely happened, so he should be absolutely ready to be reinstated by the military at any time before 11:59:59 pm on August 31st.

Philippines president answers health questions with jumping jacks

Orange Jesus’s fanboys annoyed he got so literal with it

Why Orban’s defeat was actually bad for Democrats: Politico

Leo wouldn’t be Pope without me: Trump

George Santos not satisfied by Swalwell quitting guberbatorial bid

CENTCOM says blockade operation a go

Hungary liberated from Viktor Orban’s regime

RonAnon “not surprised” Jaydee failed: Sunday AM Live Coverage

Orange Fuhrer redeclares war on Iran

Screw you guys, I’m going home: Jaydee to Iranians

New York Times headline seems likely to cause a nasty rash

Judge Box-o-Wine off attorney general shortlist due to failures

Jaydee announces mission unaccomplished

The Promised Land

Miserable senior citizen watches too much TV, complains about it

Irish gas stations run dry amid protests over prices

Artemis II crew splashes down safely

Eric Swalwell needs to resign from Congress right fucking now

Orange Shitbag pledges to help Hungarians before Americans

BREAKING: Trump regime admits they lied

Raskin asks White House doc to conduct thorough mental eval

Fox News reports lib terrorist targeted pro-Trump patriot

Kamala Harris says she’s “thinking about” a 2028 run

Trump continues to whine about the consequences of his fuckup

Houston gentlemen’s club patron felled in dispute with rogues

Pete Buttigieg nearly causes MAGA CNBC host to stroke out

President promotes evil corporation run by eccentric supervillains

Consumer sentiment index sinks to lowest level ever

New York Times called out for its terrible polling numbers

Russian defense official gets 19 years for unsanctioned graft

MAGAflation skyrockets to 3.3 percent in March

Top Melania aide says Third Lady focused media on her Epstein ties because media isn’t focused on her performative “achievements”

Massie leads generic MAGA douche primary challenger: poll

Texas Lt Gov Dannie Goeb worried state House could flip to Dems

Fox Business reports bribery refusal investigation underway

Orange Karen complains about quality of Iranian oil transit service

Donald denies knowing what prompted Melania’s Epstein denial

You can find avant garde art in anything, really

BREAKING: New York City schools still closed for Spring break

When Marjorie Taylor Greene says you’re a mentally ill sociopath…

White House accepts $37 million in proudly non-American-made steel for ballroom to host majestic, blue-collar-excluding galas

This is why Karoline earns your big bucks

Netanyahu’s corruption trial resumes

California Supreme Court orders MAGA sheriff to halt ballot probe

Frau Ingraham could’ve just called the Times story fake news

“REMEMBER GREENLAND” now a heroic rallying cry for patriots

FDA recalls male enhancement chocolates

Soldier’s wife released as ICE melts under public heat once again

WATCH LIVE: Karoline Kringefest

Strait of Hormuz as open as the Kennedy Center