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Delta Airlines making it even easier to fly Delta around

Delta Airlines will not require its employees to be vaccinated against Coronavirus, CEO Ed Bastian told Fox 5 Good Day New York on Tuesday. So Delta is making it easier to fly Delta. The first occurrence of “Delta” in that sentence refers to “Delta Airlines”, the second being “Delta variant Coronavirus”, the implication being that by not requiring their flight crews to be inoculated against Coronavirus, Delta Airlines is facilitating the spread of Delta variant COVID-19 on its flights.

Adding a little wordplay to a headline about a dreary corporate bureaucratic decision, most likely made to prevent further losses among the company’s workforce, colors the news and makes it a little more “fun” than a staid “Delta CEO says no plans for vax requirement for employees”.

Now if we prepended that boring headline with “They don’t call it ‘Delta’ Airlines for nothing” and joined it with a colon, it’d be okay, but not really all that good though and would distinctly lack National Zero’s signature trollishness-bordering-on-outright-contempt for our readers. It’s actually kind of annoying to think of it. Worse, it’s the wrong kind of annoying.

We want to deliver the right kind of annoying. It’s our commitment to that distinct lack of quality that sets us apart from the other guys, the ones who are either sincere in their actual quality, or sincere in lying to you and themselves the shit content they churn out is quality.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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