The Associated Press reports that Tim Tebow, the white NFL player who really invented kneeling before that Black NFL player made it controversial, has played his final NFL preseason game after being cut as fourth string tight end by the Jacksonville Jaguars. The zero catch performance on Saturday night’s preseason opener, which also happened to be on Tebow’s 34th birthday, caps the end to a storied career of one decent season with the Broncos, then whatever the fuck that was supposed to be on the Jets, and then the Patriots, then the Eagles, before five years in the New York Mets’ farm system just barely not getting called up on several occasions.
Tebow’s signature “Tebowing”, a Christian-themed kneeling gesture performed on field as an act of prostration before God, was lauded by white, Christian NFL fans nationwide as a celebration of the power of pro-Jesus Caucasians over American culture and politics. Then when that more talented half-Black kid started kneeling too, doing so during the National Anthem in protest of police brutality and the overall effects of systemic racism inflicted upon African Americans, kneeling wasn’t so cool anymore. In fact, it was downright infuriating to millions of white NFL fans nationwide, having their weekly entertainment of seeing mostly Black men beating the absolute shit out of each other – and getting paid basically peanuts compared to what their teams’ owners make for it – being violated by such increasingly vocal assertions of Black political power.
To them, Tim Tebow is an icon of a simpler time, back when they could just slap the 22 year old Buffalo Wild Wings waitress’s ass when she walks away from the table after giving them club soda to clean the honey garlic sauce stains off their priceless Aaron Hernandez or Ron Mexico jerseys, and go back to watching themselves lose $1,800 because the fucking Cowboys didn’t cover the spread, and – oh fuck and the mortgage payment is overdue too – without seeing all that Black Lives Matter shit on the 38 TV screens within view. Back when America was great.
As for Tebow himself, who knows what’s next? As one of the few prominent Conservative Christians out there with an actual track record of real humanitarian work we’d hate to see him throw away an opportunity to build another hospital for the poor in the southern Philippines by running for Congress or something. Would especially hate to keep reporting on him losing GOP primaries again and again for the next ten years until he gives up and tries out for the Mets one more time.