Categories
Uncategorized

ARMADILLO ASSAULT: North Carolina town overrun by armored mammals with ravenous appetite for well-maintained lawns

The Guardian: “In the pitch dark, Jason Bullard adroitly shoulders his rifle and levels it at the object. ‘That looks like one!’ he mutters. It turns out to be a fuse box. Another candidate, again aimed at with the gun, reveals itself as a rock. In this town besieged by armadillos, anything with a passing similarity to the armored nemesis is under suspicion. Bullard, an affable man in a camouflaged shirt, with a sonorous voice and prodigious beard, has rapidly gone from never seeing an armadillo in his bucolic corner of western North Carolina to killing 15 of them last year. In just the last two weeks, he has dispatched eight of the animals. Homeowners, perturbed at their lawns being torn up by the newly arrived mammals, handing him $100 for every dead carcass he produced.”

“But armadillos have wreaked such horticultural havoc that dozens of people in and around Sapphire, North Carolina, now have Bullard on a retainer, allowing him to prowl around their properties at night, armed, in the hope of shooting the culprits. The task has been learned hastily on the job. The standard .22 rifles Bullard used on the first armadillos didn’t seem to kill them outright. One of the creatures bounded away in a freakish, kangaroo-like hop, leaving an astonished Bullard flailing. The armadillos give off a sort of loamy grey color at night, a shone light absorbed by their bodies, rather than reflected in their eyes. ‘It’s like hunting aliens,’ said Bullard, who is more used to hunting feral pigs. ‘We know nothing about them. We can’t seem to kill them easily. They show up unexpectedly. And their numbers have just exploded.'”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Clintons surrender to the unstoppable force that is James Comer

1 hour ago

WATCH LIVE: Deeply unhappy old man complains bitterly

4 hours ago

BREAKING: “People are saying” makes its YUGE comeback!!!

5 hours ago

Bondi orders daily Trump revenge prosecution strategy sessions

8 hours ago

Judge orders DHS to allow Congress unlimited access to gulags

9 hours ago

Don Lemon’s arrest for “invading” church in Minnesota a huge win for Republican primary voters in Georgia: MAGA Senate candidate

10 hours ago

Suburban Minneapolis schools closed due to “credible threat”

11 hours ago

Nancy Mace had staff rig her hottest congresswomen Reddit rank

12 hours ago

Texas MAGA Congressman Pete Sessions says mild ice storm caused Republican’s 15 percent special election loss six days later

12 hours ago

German court hits Fourth Reich zoomer with exorbitant fines

13 hours ago

Top appellate judge spikes Bondi’s stupid Boasberg complaint

14 hours ago

Fox News weatherman oddly enthusiastic about Punxsutawney

14 hours ago

Demted old loser whines about Grammys

15 hours ago

RFK Jr halts all intake at Texas ICE gulag

23 hours ago

Todd annoyed at focus on Trump in Epstein files: Live updates

1 day ago

Coast Guard calls off search for missing Massachusetts fishermen

2 days ago

“The dynamics of a special election are fundamentally different”

2 days ago

Flagrantly Insufficient

2 days ago

Nothing Burger, 3410 Chimney Rock Road, Houston, TX 77057

2 days ago

Microsoft banned Jeffrey Epstein from Xbox Live in 2013

2 days ago

Massachusetts detective closes in on vape shop burglary crew

3 days ago

Not-Movie Night Friday: The Loss of the El Faro

3 days ago

Trump effort to promote Melania “documentary” pretty half-assed

3 days ago

Pennsylvania cops cancel white blue collar pedophile during raid

3 days ago

Regime already pulled doc of oral rape accusation against Trump

3 days ago

Must’ve been some good ketamine on Epstein Island

3 days ago

Big Melania documentation debuts on Friday

3 days ago

Todd Blanche turns his Epstein homework in 42 days late

3 days ago

Republican candidate concedes Nebraska 2nd District election

3 days ago

No answer yet from Trump’s other top cueball-headed minion

3 days ago

Judge blocks Mangione from facing death penalty

3 days ago

No danger to the public after man murdered over fries: Texas cops

3 days ago

Confederates were the bad guys again now that it’s convenient

3 days ago

Don Lemon arrested

4 days ago

Trump v IRS lands in front of Obama appointee

4 days ago

Kevin Warsh nominated for Fed chairman

4 days ago

“Stock has gone way down”

4 days ago

Omaha teen struck by Trump-flagged vehicle at anti-ICE protest

4 days ago

Orange Pharaoh sues IRS for $10 billion

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Old Man Trump spins some boring yarn in Oval Office

4 days ago

Cory Mills calls constituent a moron at town hall

4 days ago

Grandpa’s approval sinks to 37 percent: Pew Research poll

4 days ago

Drug addict declares war on entire state

4 days ago

Entire Minnesota US Attorney’s office threatens to quit

4 days ago

Minnesota MAGA apple cider assclown hit with federal charge

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Overlord convenes top supplicants

4 days ago

Regime welcomed Alberta secessionists

4 days ago

Texas cops seeking negligent kangaroo owner

4 days ago

Melania says her husband wants women to live free of fear of rape

4 days ago

“Multiple” fatalities in northern Quebec shooting rampage

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x