Categories
Uncategorized

ARMADILLO ASSAULT: North Carolina town overrun by armored mammals with ravenous appetite for well-maintained lawns

The Guardian: “In the pitch dark, Jason Bullard adroitly shoulders his rifle and levels it at the object. ‘That looks like one!’ he mutters. It turns out to be a fuse box. Another candidate, again aimed at with the gun, reveals itself as a rock. In this town besieged by armadillos, anything with a passing similarity to the armored nemesis is under suspicion. Bullard, an affable man in a camouflaged shirt, with a sonorous voice and prodigious beard, has rapidly gone from never seeing an armadillo in his bucolic corner of western North Carolina to killing 15 of them last year. In just the last two weeks, he has dispatched eight of the animals. Homeowners, perturbed at their lawns being torn up by the newly arrived mammals, handing him $100 for every dead carcass he produced.”

“But armadillos have wreaked such horticultural havoc that dozens of people in and around Sapphire, North Carolina, now have Bullard on a retainer, allowing him to prowl around their properties at night, armed, in the hope of shooting the culprits. The task has been learned hastily on the job. The standard .22 rifles Bullard used on the first armadillos didn’t seem to kill them outright. One of the creatures bounded away in a freakish, kangaroo-like hop, leaving an astonished Bullard flailing. The armadillos give off a sort of loamy grey color at night, a shone light absorbed by their bodies, rather than reflected in their eyes. ‘It’s like hunting aliens,’ said Bullard, who is more used to hunting feral pigs. ‘We know nothing about them. We can’t seem to kill them easily. They show up unexpectedly. And their numbers have just exploded.'”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Picasso no longer available for adoption in Muscatine, Iowa

7 hours ago

Los Angeles ICE raid sweeps up 12 out of 120 targeted

9 hours ago

Coast Guard urges Great Lakes-area residents to be careful on ice

11 hours ago

Wyoming Republican suddenly in favor of “preferred pronouns”

12 hours ago

Judge denies AP bid for injunction on White House access

13 hours ago

Denny’s to begin surcharging for eggs

13 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Macron stuck next to demented old piss fetishist

14 hours ago

“Non-responses are not considered a resignation”

15 hours ago

Florida Quebecois-American Trump fan motelier annoyed by consequences, says countrymen ghosting him “way overreacting”

16 hours ago

Russian tourist poses for pic while hanging out of train in Sri Lanka

17 hours ago

How long until Republicans start shrieking “insurrection” again?

18 hours ago

Wall Street already tired of Trump’s bullshit and volatility

20 hours ago

House GOP looking to impose work requirements on SNAP

22 hours ago

Fox News reject fails upward to Deputy FBI Director

1 day ago

Orange Fuhrer freaking out over Michael Wolff book, again

2 days ago

Frederich Merz on track to become next German chancellor

2 days ago

Cleanup on Aisle MAGA

2 days ago

Regime to deport unaccompanied undocumented minors to protect them from sex trafficking and other exploitation: memo

2 days ago

Jeffries not ready to lift a finger to help House GOP fund government

2 days ago

Fox News excited Idaho maniac could face firing squad

2 days ago

Pope Francis in “critical condition”

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: CPAC shitshow, Day 3

3 days ago

“ELON IS DOING A GREAT JOB, BUT”

3 days ago

Missouri Republican intros bill creating pregnancy registry

3 days ago

Movie Night Friday: Everest

3 days ago

Massachusetts teenagers rescued from waist-deep snow

3 days ago

Nice “gotcha” there, you fucking idiot

4 days ago

Acting ICE director sacked

4 days ago

Dow Jones sinks below January 20th level

4 days ago

“This is a deeply personal matter that is being unfairly exploited for political purposes”: Cory Mills’s not-wife after alleged assault

4 days ago

Report: Trump to join Putin for World War II victory parade

4 days ago

Capitol Police arrest Enrique Tarrio

4 days ago

Patriotic Red Stater chooses to celebrate Second Amendment

4 days ago

Judge appoints special counsel to fight Adams dismissal

4 days ago

“Eggs, I’m hearing so much about eggs”

4 days ago

MAGA Congressman Cory Mills under investigation for assault

4 days ago

Ronny Jackson evidently a Paramount+ subscriber

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: MAGA cosplay fan-con, Day 2

4 days ago

Florida man and alligator both win fight

4 days ago

Orange Asshole lets James Carville get to him

4 days ago

Shoving Jim Acosta out the door sees real results for CNN

4 days ago

Conscientious Amtrak passenger keeps undershirt and briefs on

4 days ago

Hong Kong Democrats no longer in disarray

4 days ago

Fox News reports tiny red dots of liberty cropping up in Blue State

4 days ago

“He had been a supporter of President Trump prior to the layoff”

4 days ago

Canada 3 – USA 2 in Four Nations Face-off Final

4 days ago

Constituents boo Georgia MAGA Congressman defending DOGE

4 days ago

Orange Empire to vanquish Haitian refugees

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange American hosts Black History Month show

5 days ago

Venezuelan refugees sue Trump regime over status removal

5 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x