Devin Nunes to resign from Congress, become TMTG CEO

Devin Nunes, a California dairy farmer who got elected to Congress and became Chairman of the powerful House Intelligence Committee before being demoted to ranking member and losing an absolute shit ton of frivolous lawsuits against people making fun of him online, will resign to take a job as the CEO of the Trump Media and Technology Group by the end of this month, Axios reports.

So to recap, a guy whose only business experience is literally milking cows and whose only tech experience is losing lawsuits against people trolling him, will become CEO of a tech and media company that is supposed to compete with Disney, Netflix, Google, Amazon, CNN, and others.

Dow closes only down 740 points on the day, oil not at $100 yet

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Michigan Jewish school under active shooter threat

QAdulteress either launching weekly podcast or violent coup d’etat

Ayatollah’s message flops on Wall Street

IDF drops charges against troops taped gang-sodomizing POW

White House rips Biden for tapping reserves before 2022 midterms

New Ayatollah lays out visionary energy policy in first address

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Frau Ingraham forgets to find way to blame Biden or Obama

Explodey Iranian boats kaboom more not-Iranian boats

Heavenly wonder of God’s creation to flourish in Bible belt

Fox News reports top strategic presidential income source valiantly standing strong thanks to US taxpayer-funded defense array

Rapist endorses accused rapist

Oil above $90 after surging to $100 overnight

Ted Cruz pre-blames Biden for terror attack, just to be safe

Top expert on “Black People” identifies target of their anger

Republican Florida man busted in massive vegetable trafficking ring

Pax Corny-Drama

California feds and cops say Iranian drone threat “not actionable”

Con artist wanted for defrauding local payday loan business

“We’ve got a little hiccup with some of the Latino voters for certain”

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Texas bomb shelter company CEO says business booming

FBI warns Iranian drones might maybe possibly attack West Coast

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Justice Department investigating Iranian transactions by company owned by crypto money laundering Trump partner/pardonee

Joe Rogan magically an uniformed shitbrain again, per Mark Levin

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“They’ve been careful not to express that directly to the president”

Reptilian humanoid seems to want to tell CNN to secure Hormuz

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“Democrats have major problems, too”

Senator Fanboy needs new “Stop the Steal” material

Pam Bondi moves to DC-area military base

Andrew no longer has Middle East “escape hatch”

He was talking about all those other poor people, MAGA voters

South Dakota super-bans Don Lemonist terror attacks on churches

“Seems like some people are rooting for high gas prices”

Orange Karen warns the Iran manager against any funny business

Fishing fest fuckery foiled

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Only “TRUMP” CAN eradicate invasive Asian fish from Great Lakes

Energy Suckretary deletes tweet claiming Hormuz tanker escort

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“Transgender mutilation surgery” worked into midterms pitch

Southern Caucasian gets 20 years for shooting dollar store clerk

Voting Republican costs New Jersey town’s taxpayers $1.1 million