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Random thoughts Friday, Volume XLVIII

  • Ingraham, Kilmeade and Hannity frantically texting chief of staff Mark Meadow with PR advice on how to respond to the J6 attacks–not as professional journalists covering the story–demonstrates their consciousness of guilt:  they knew the extreme delusion held by the people attacking the Capitol held because Fox seeded it in them.
  • Junior texted Mark Meadows, “He has to lead now” on January 6th.  My question is, what did Junior want led?  Did he want Daddy to put on his military (school) uniform and lead the domestic terrorists into the Capitol?  Was Junior fearing the morale was collapsing and the line needed to be reinforced?  
  • Junior demonstrated his own, singular, brave leadership style:  send in the aide.  Even he was too cowardly to confront his father.
  • Worst memory of a holiday gift: a “book” that contained 12 rolls of Lifesavers.  Stuck in my stocking every year growing up.  Who goes through a roll of Lifesavers every month, and so much butterscotch?  Besides my father,  I mean.  Heyyyyy….
  • I’m not keen on winter sports.  I love watching hockey, but don’t look for me skiing or snowboarding.  I’ve been on skis three times in my life, and each time I broke a bone.  God has obviously issued a stern warning to me to not go back again.
  • Why is it always Jesus people see in burnt toast, on a water-stained wall or in split pea soup?  Why do they never see Marilyn Monroe or George Washington Carver or maybe Cleopatra?  “We can’t paint the wall, honey.  Look!  There’s Rick Moranis in the mildew!”
  • The interview Chris Hayes had with two of the J6 rally organizers was a complete train wreck, but they did two things:  showed how the White House took over the rally, and promoted the resurrection of Tammy Faye Bakker mascara shellacking.  
  • If Brit Hume, Mitch McConnell and Richard Nixon were pitted against one another in a “Talking with Marbles in Your Mouth” competition, who would win?
  • The same people who complain about Big Government spying on everyone are the ones who put the Elf on the Shelf around their house to terrorize their children.  
  • I’m amazed at the product variety in cannabis dispensaries today.  Dozens of strains to choose from, and in a variety of forms.  When I was in college, we had two types:  smoked and not-yet-smoked.
  • That commercial of the pair of M&Ms meeting Santa becomes creepy when you realize the two M&Ms were bringing a bowl of tinier M&Ms to feed Santa!  They were sacrificing their children for toys!!!
  • I love pens.  All kinds of pens.  But there’s nothing like the look and feel of a good fountain pen with the right ink and the right nib gliding over a sheet.  The sheen of fresh ink on quality paper is enthralling.  And fountain pens don’t have to be expensive; my favorite is just $20.  
  • Last minute gift pack for writers for $50:  A Lamy Safari fountain pen with fine nib ($20), ink cartridge ($6), Waterman ink bottle ($11), and a Rhodia or a Black ‘n’ Red notebook ($13).  Guaranteed to make them happy.  
  • My favorite holiday gifts growing up:  Anything Lego.  A Sinclair 1000 “computer” that used a cassette deck as a disk drive.  A skateboard.  Oh, and cash.  In my family, Santa always included one “scratch your head” gift, the one where you’re like, “WTF was Santa thinking?!”  My most memorable was a pair of “spring shoes” that were springs on metal platforms that you could “bounce” on.  They were like walking with a pogo stick on each foot.  How Santa didn’t see those breaking ankles I’ll never know.
  • I’m starting to get the feeling we’re going to see the dominos starting to fall after the first of the year.

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