Categories
Uncategorized

Alec Baldwin is the alternate universe Trump, or Failures to Imagine

Comic books are a freaking mess. You know how many times in the pages of DC and Marvel Comics has Peter Parker been bitten by a radioactive spider, have Bruce Wayne’s parents been shot dead in an alleyway, has Baby Kal-El’s spaceship crashed into a field outside Smallville, has Steve Rogers been injected with a super growth serum? We have no idea, but we understand it’s been like, a lot of fucking times for each as all these “reboots” and “retcons” keep happening because its hard to keep a steady continuity for 80+ years of stories that get printed every week.

DC and Marvel maintain this by explaining that their fictional universes are actually multiverses, where “Earth-616” is the main Marvel Comics Universe, Earth-1610 is the “Ultimate Marvel Universe”, “Earth-199999” is the one you see in the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies and TV series, “Earth-One” is DC before the “Crisis on Infinite Earths”, “Earth-Two” is DC also before the “Crisis on Infinite Earths” but before the “Golden Age”, “Earth-Forty-Three” is where Superman is dead and then was replaced by a Kandorian and eventually switched with the Superman of “Earth-215”, then there was something called “Infinite Crisis” and Jesus Christ enough already.

One of these DC Universes features a storyline where Superman’s nemesis Lex Luthor is elected President of the United States. Whichever DC writer came up with the idea did so because he thought it’d be an interesting way to mix things up for Superman by putting the embodiment of the American ideal at odds with its legitimate head of state (we’re mostly guessing here, we never actually read this storyline). We doubt it got into the weeds with the electoral college and campaign finance and what not as that would probably detract from the storyline of Lex Luthor arming the US military with Kryptonite and whatever else happened. That was an easy decision to make for the writers to make because the readers of the comics were not interested in such details in the first place. You don’t have to suspend disbelief for people already on board.

The inverse is truer here in the nonfiction genre. We can’t write a paragraph that says something along the lines of “Imagine the reaction from Republicans if a Dem President Alec Baldwin had told Texas they were on their own with the COVID-19 pandemic” without our readers disputing the premise so much so that the actual point of comparison gets completely lost. Building a plausible alternate version of the world we live in is such a complicated prospect, and takes so many paragraphs in its setup, that most writers either restrict it to the most limited of contexts or circumstances or they simply avoid such propositions to their readers altogether.

For example, in December 2019, Politico editor John Harris asked Trump fans to email him explaining why they opposed impeaching Donald for the Ukraine-Hunter Biden bullshit but why they would also be 100% against it if the circumstances were exactly the same with Hillary Clinton as president. Harris got a lot of responses rejecting his “invitation to imagine what the reaction would be if President Hillary Clinton had behaved in the Ukraine matter in precisely the same way Trump did.” He could lay it out in one sentence and still they wrote to Harris to dispute it. “Your premise is flawed because there would be no impeachment if Hillary Clinton had done the same thing,” one fanboy wrote. The scenario was the only part he wanted to respond to.

On one hand it is indisputably a good thing that most people are skeptical and informed to the point where they don’t believe that scientists are lying when they say horse paste is ineffective against COVID-19 or that JFK Jr is still alive and secretly shows up in the crowd at Trump rallies with a grey beard. (That still a lot of people believe that kind of bullshit is bad enough, but that’s for another day). On the other some suspension of disbelief among media consumers could make some things easier. Like it wasn’t too hard for at least some of those Trump fans who responded to John Harris to actually answer the fucking question (even if they sounded like complete assholes doing so).

So with this meandering setup out of the way, and skipping the qualifying paragraph about how there probably isn’t an actual multiverse but just saying this is thought exercise, here goes: Alec Baldwin is the alternate universe Trump. Not because he played Trump on Saturday Night Live, but because he’s an irresponsible narcissistic egotistical fucking asshole with a conwoman fake Spaniard for his second wife. Had some things – and not a lot of things – gone differently he could have been a Democrat President of The United States and by far the closest hypothetical analogue to the real world Republican former President of The United States Donald Trump.

Sure, Baldwin would almost certainly have been more competent, but not light years so. He would 100% have been every bit as irresponsible, corrupt, egomaniacal, abusive, and intolerant of every criticism that came his way. And a lot of us probably would have loved it, looked past his flaws, maybe even embraced them as virtues. Up until the dipshit fucking killed a woman because he was too cheap to hire proper firearms managers on the set of some stupid straight-to-DVD cowboy movie, quite a lot of lefty fans of his pretty much did. “Oh haha! I loooooove 30 Rock! Alec Baldwin’s soooooo funny! Such snappy one-liners!” the Twitter libs would say over the years.

There’s no way to wrap this up properly without going on for at least another 1,000 words, so we’ll leave it open-ended. There was a day in the DC writer’s room when they said “Okay, we got to page 4 where Lex Luthor is actually elected President, so what the fuck do we do next?” Among us and among yourselves it’s time to think about the next page. But for all the ways that entertainment and politics intersect here, this is not strictly for entertainment purposes. Really think on this.

Because what if liberals are just as susceptible to the wits of a greasy degenerate from New York as the folks out in MAGA Land? If such a malevolence was elected an was on *our* side, would we still be so absolutist about character and virtue? And even if we were like those supposedly initially reluctant to support Trump Republicans who “held their noses”, would we always be like that?

Kool-Aid comes in more colors than just orange.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Gateway Pundit hiding behind bankruptcy: 2020 election plaintiffs

28 mins ago

Tractor Supply Company caves to unwoke right, kills off DEI

1 hour ago

WATCH LIVE: Joe Biden rallies in North Carolina

2 hours ago

Biden campaign raises $14 million Thursday and Friday

3 hours ago

Supreme Court narrows a shit ton of Capitol riot prosecutions

4 hours ago

Federal administrative state dead of Supreme Court-itis

4 hours ago

Now’s the time to do something really nihilistic and destructive

5 hours ago

Ride-on lawnmower driver arrested after low-speed chase

5 hours ago

Inflation at 2.6 percent in May

6 hours ago

NASA evaluating whether Boeing Starliner will hold up on re-entry

6 hours ago

Ohio sheriff reminds locals not to drink and light off fireworks

7 hours ago

Fox News pick for Top 5 moment pretty solid choice

8 hours ago

DeSantis cancels all state arts grants over “sexual” Fringe Festivals

14 hours ago

Post-debate analysis: let the Democratic flagellation begin

15 hours ago

The Democrats need to replace Joe Biden immediately

15 hours ago

Biden v Trump in Atlanta: National Zero Special Live Coverage

18 hours ago

Former Uvalde schools chief of police, another officer indicted for department’s failure to respond to school shooting

18 hours ago

Oklahoma Secretary of Education orders Bible lessons in schools

19 hours ago

Corrupt politician clears up confusion

19 hours ago

Melania Trump missing

20 hours ago

Father of violent felon claims Google suppressing Trump 2024 site

21 hours ago

Second petition to recall Republican Wisconsin Speaker fails

22 hours ago

Fraulein Leavitt big mad

23 hours ago

House Judiciary votes to hold Biden ghostwriter in contempt

23 hours ago

Condemned child murderer orders Little Caesar’s for last meal

24 hours ago

Only the best people

1 day ago

Man who threatened Ramaswamy, Christie events dies during trial

1 day ago

Pittsburgh furry gathering “Anthrocon” set for biggest year ever

1 day ago

Media news site publishes important update from world of media

1 day ago

Orange Felon to win debate: Every single pollster that asked

1 day ago

Leaked Supreme Court opinion on Idaho emergency abortion holds

1 day ago

Purdue Pharma bankruptcy plan squashed at Supreme Court

1 day ago

Former Honduras president gets 45 years in federal prison

1 day ago

Large asteroids expected to survive close call with Earth

1 day ago

Comer too focused on fighting the last battle vs the “Deep State”

1 day ago

Hugh Hewitt has ideas on how Tapper and Bash should moderate

1 day ago

Freedom Caucasians political director fired

1 day ago

Olympic highlights show to feature AI version of Al Michael’s voice

2 days ago

Kemp left top-of-ticket blank in Georgia’s GOP Primary

2 days ago

NBA outsources top two draft picks to France

2 days ago

And… another Republican accused of lying about military record

2 days ago

Nehls will no longer wear military pin he didn’t qualify for

2 days ago

Self-own is self-revealing to anyone with an iota of self-awareness

2 days ago

Amazon to battle Chinese outlets with discount section

2 days ago

Marge gets public gender identify lesson from female drag queen

2 days ago

Cops were already suspicious before they found a video of armored truck driver holding up cash hours after suspected staged robbery

2 days ago

Fox News reports evil sadistic monster also a fan of DEI policies

2 days ago

Bolivia might be coming down with a case of the coups

2 days ago

Minnesota Republican candidate throws live tarantula at roommate

2 days ago

Boris Sanchez cuts off MAGA Congressman’s Jan 6 whataboutery

2 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x