Loser ex-president Donald Trump falsely claimed in a Wednesday interview with the Washington Post that he wanted to march to the Capitol with his cult on January 6th, 2021 and that DC Mayor Muriel Bowser and Nancy Pelosi secretly colluded with them to attack the Capitol.

“I thought it was a shame, and I kept asking why isn’t she doing something about it? Why isn’t Nancy Pelosi doing something about it? And the mayor of D.C. also. The mayor of D.C. and Nancy Pelosi are in charge. I hated seeing it. I hated seeing it. And I said, ‘It’s got to be taken care of,’ and I assumed they were taking care of it,” said the fat orange bastard, adding he told the crowd “I said peaceful and patriotic,” without mentioning all the other shit he said. When asked why he didn’t march to the Capitol with his fans after the speech, which Trump claims the media suppresses photos showing the tremendous crowd size, Donald told the Post “Secret Service said I couldn’t go. I would have gone there in a minute,” which is false because he’s too fat and out of shape to run the roughly mile and a half from the Ellipse to the Capitol, which no human can run in under a minute.

“From the standpoint of telephone calls, I don’t remember getting very many,” Trump said about the nearly eight hour gap in the White House phone logs from the day, even though he also said he has a “very good” memory. “Why would I care about who called me? If congressmen were calling me, what difference did it make? There was nothing secretive about it. There was no secret.”

When asked to address Congressman Mo Brooks’ claim that Donald unendorsed him over Brooks’ failure to convince the House and Senate to overturn the 2020 election and return him to the Presidency, Trump said “I didn’t ask him to do it. He’s in no position to do it. I certainly didn’t ask him to do it. But I believe when you see massive election fraud, I can’t imagine that somebody who won the election based on fraud, that something doesn’t happen? How has it not happened? If you are a bank robber, or you’re a jewelry store robber, and you go into Tiffany’s and you steal their diamonds and get caught, you have to give the diamonds back.”