Remember when Republicans boasted about being the Party of Personal Responsibility™? Those days are long gone. Senator Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) has reverted back to blaming his two young daughters for the decisions he himself makes. This time, it’s about buying a Tesla automobile, a fully electric car that a good oil-lovin’ Texas conservative like the Canadian-born son of a Cuban assassin Cruz would never, ever drive [wink!].
“I am so happy about [Elon Musk being the single largest shareholder of Twitter], I may go and buy a damn Tesla,” Cruz says on his podcast, a line that makes his trained monkey laugh stuntedly. “Like, like, like I, I, I really–and by the way, my girls wa- want me to get a Tesla anyway. You know why the girls la-la-la-love the Tesla? [“Why?” the trained monkey says on cue.] “Because the central computer makes fart noises under each of the seats and, and, and for an eleven year old and a thirteen year old, that is the coolest feature–and I gotta admit, as a 51-year-old, that is a pretty cool feature, although I don’t… I probably shouldn’t admit that publicly as I say it into a TV camera.”