The Russian government is considering making a bold change in its democracy by ending the rigging of elections starting with this September’s regional contests, finally giving citizens tired of filling out pointless ballots in races with already predetermined outcomes some relief in the form of not having to vote at all, Bloomberg reports. The move reportedly is being spitballed in response to the Ukraine war and crushing international sanctions that have wrecked the economy, sapping budgets meant for conducting the pretenses of fair elections, or whatever was left of them after some asshole bureaucrat used most of it to get a tacky heated indoor pool installed.
“Amid sanctions pressure and the inevitable decline in social conditions, it’s necessary to adjust electoral processes for the stable and predictable work of the political system such that they minimize the impact of negative factors on the formation of government authorities at various levels,” said Putin crony Konstantin Kostin, probably in between calls trying to procure Western-quality silicone breast implants for his 23 year-old mistress after sanctions killed that market.