A lot of the MAGA kids are crying in their Fruity Pebbles today over their hero John Durham failing to convict one guy nobody had ever heard of before for lying about something that was of molecular level importance in the overall investigation that nobody understands anyway. The fanboys would call them “process crimes” when Robert Mueller would prosecute Trump minions for smaller level and/or unrelated stuff as leverage to get them to cooperate, something their tiny little gerbil brains couldn’t quite understand (And that might’ve worked had Trump not corruptly interfered and dangled pardons for his crew of scumbags, letting them wait out Mueller).

It’s not clear if Durham had the same goal in mind, that Michael Sussman would “flip” and take down Hillary Clinton and John Podesta and Obama and probably Hugo Chavez in exchange for leniency at sentencing, but the question is moot because Sussman walked. In a rather short order we may add. Apparently the jury didn’t like that a certain piece of crucial evidence was withheld from them by Team Durham until literally this morning. It was a receipt for a cab ride Sussman took to FBI HQ that he paid for himself rather than expense to the Clinton campaign which was apparently exculpatory because it proved that Sussman was telling the truth and blah blah blah which doomed what some had said was an already extremely weak case against Sussie.

Lady Cham • 3 hours ago
️No, it was a rigged jury…you’re as guilty as hell…
Tue, 5/31/22 1:49 PM on “‘I Told the Truth to the FBI’ – Michael Sussmann Statement Following Acquittal” – Gateway Pundit

Of course, don’t let those details get in the way if you’re hell bent on being victimized again. By all means, please go right ahead and don’t read any of the shit we skimmed and sort of half-read in between an effort to finally wrap up Assassin’s Creed Valhalla (have to go back to Mercia and finish the main story after the Dawn of Ragnarok DLC is over, so probably another 50 hours at least).

Also don’t read literally anything about trials in common law jurisdictions and that pesky little “unanimous verdict” requirement mandating that all twelve members of a jury agree on either convict or acquit a defendant or the judge will declare a hung jury which in a lot of cases is basically the same as acquittal. Use that ignorance to tune out the fact that it doesn’t fucking matter if two or three of the jurors donated to Hillary Clinton and/or Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez if the other nine or ten reached the same not guilty verdict, you dumb fucks.

Definitely don’t consider that the prosecution had that information in hand when they selected the jurors but chose to ignore it because they believed – correctly – that these people’s personal history had no bearing on their ability to consider the facts of the case fairly and impartially. But if you do it anyway, then you might as well consider the very real possibility that Team Durham knew they were fucked and leaked that information to the New York Post earlier this month to give themselves some cover in the MAGA media universe so you angry dipshits wouldn’t set their houses on fire for losing a case they shouldn’t have fucking brought in the first place.

Then you might get really angry over Sussman getting acquitted. And you might actually blame the prosecution instead of the jury for bungling this case, throwing the whole investigation into doubt.

If you committed a non-violent crime on J6, you go to jail for years.

If you're a powerful Democrat who broke federal law while fabricating the Russia hoax to sabotage Donald Trump, you get acquitted by a jury of your donors.

Fair trials in Washington D.C. do not exist.

— Russ Vought (@russvought) May 31, 2022

Oh and fuck off on blaming the judge too. It doesn’t matter that he or she was appointed by Obama. We could be here all goddamned day talking about decisions that went badly for Trump fanboys that came from judges appointed by the fat bastard himself.