In an interview with the Detroit News ahead of Michigan’s Tuesday primary elections, Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson warned the enemies of freedom that democracy is non-negotiable, and all resistance by Trump-loyal clerks and canvassers will be crushed without mercy or quarter.
“Any attempts to block the certification of our elections, regardless of the results, will be futile,” Benson said, possibly while snapping a Trump bobblehead doll in half for emphasis. “We are confident that the courts will swiftly enforce the law and that at the end of the day, the will of the people will stand.” Benson may or may not have then cackled maniacally as a bolt of lighting split the sky behind the gothic windows of her office as her black bull mastiff “Sprinkle” growled menacingly at the reporter. Or the interview happened over Zoom and Benson chit-chatted with the reporter about the Tigers’ pitching rotation for a minute or two after the main subject matter was dispensed with. The whole exchange was probably closer to the second one if we’re being honest.