HOLD THE TALKING POINTS PRESSES GOP! We’ve got a great idea! Just hear us out! What if you go on Fox News and say Trump was just protecting the nuclear documents from Hunter Biden? You might be able to sell that one, that maybe if Hunter Biden was so careless with his laptop that maybe he would sneak into the White House and steal the secret nuclear documents and that Trump was being really patriotic and taking the stuff to Mar-a-Lago to protect it from the new president’s crack smoking son. It could totally work as long as you don’t say it to Brett Baier or the other guy who sometimes fucks up and throws hardballs. Bill Hemmer, right? Yeah don’t tell him.
Just say it. If it doesn’t work we’ll come up with something else for you. You can trust National Zero. We’re almost like a politics factory here. We just crank out politics all day like it was an assembly line. Lots of people can tell you there’s quality politics here. In fact we already have a backup line: If the Hunter Biden one doesn’t work then say Trump was hiding it from the Deep State. They shouldn’t get their hands on nuclear weapons data. Could you imagine if the military-industrial complex or even the Pentagon got a hold of that info? It would be terrifying to Americans.