WHOA! Did you know that Liz Cheney’s big primary is Tuesday? Did you know that she’s going to lose but will something something continue her fight against fat former President Trump for the future of the Republican Party? Did you there’s “buzz” that she’s going to run for president in 2024?
What?! You didn’t know that? How the fuck could you be so lame and self-centered? What is wrong with you? Why don’t you care about Liz Cheney? She’s the Republican that stood up to Trump! Everyone loves a good underdog story! Especially media consumers! It’s important political news that everyone will be watching closely! Well everyone except you, because you’re not “in the know” like all the Politico Playbook and Punchbowl subscribers! Those are the coolest “tip sheets” in the industry! You suck if you don’t read them! Get caught up on the Liz Cheney storyline or get left behind like VHS and LaserDisc! Don’t be a friggin dinosaur. Just read all the Liz Cheney-mania stories, okay? People put a lot of time and effort into them. They’re important.
Look, if you don’t read them you’ll be left behind and look like a total square. The mainstream media are covering Cheney. They know politics. You’ll get all the latest “scoops” from them. It’s a big story.