RNC Reichsmarshall Ronna Not-Romney McDaniel is pleading for help from the oligarchy to help save their shot at flipping the Senate, while the guy who’s supposed to be in charge of that fucked off to Italy, Politico reports from a leaked audio recording. “Newt [Gingrich] and I were just talking, in this environment, our candidates can win if they’re outspent two-to-one, but if it gets four, five, six to one, it becomes more difficult, and we’re seeing that specifically on the Senate side. So my call to action today is to please help us invest in these Senate races specifically. Give to any of these Senate candidates, all of these Senate candidates if you can, so all of them can be on TV,” said Ronna, likely while inhaling Hostess Powdered Donettes three at a time to ease her stress.

Meanwhile the House Republican Campaign Committee Obergruppenführer Tom Emmer tried to spin up some good old fashioned spin after his supposed star recruit went down in New York’s 19th Congressional District on Tuesday, writing in a memo obtained by Axios that “the national media wants to say the wallsare closing in on Republicans and this election serves as a bellwether ahead of November. That’s nonsense. Democrats benefited from a unique structural advantage that was only available in this special election.” In related news we need an emoji for “jerking off hand motion while rolling eyes.” Would’ve really helped illustrate our reaction to Emmer’s assessment here.